


A River in Egypt

by Nenya85



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Basically as long as Kazuki Takahashi adds to canon, Canon Continuation, I'm going to keep writing canon continuation stories, Isono does not get paid enough, M/M, Metaphors as a way of life, Prideshipping, Romance, What else can you expect from a fanfic, and body sharing, mystical artifacts, set in a canon with dimensional travel, this can not be said too often
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2019-09-13 02:34:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nenya85/pseuds/Nenya85
Summary: Where does technology end and magic begin?  Kaiba thought he needed a duel.  Atem thought he needed to help Kaiba accept the inevitable.  But neither stopped to ask themselves what “closure” means in a world where wish fulfillment is possible.  And both forgot that when you chase after something so desperately, you run the risk of losing sight of just what it is that you’re longing for.  Set at the end of the Yu-Gi-Oh! movie, Dark Side of Dimensions, but the story stands on its own.





	1. Denying Orpheus

**TIMELINE:**  This story starts the moment the movie, "The Dark Side of Dimensions" ends. Kaiba travels to the after-life, or the Netherworld as it's referred to in the manga prequel, "Transcend Game." As Kaiba strides into Atem's duel room, mysterious black particles flowing off his body, the pharaoh stands to greet him and the movie ends. This story is an attempt to explore what happens next. However, this story stands on its own. You don't need to have seen the movie to (hopefully) enjoy my story _ **. If at any time, information from the manga or the movie are relevant, I will provide the relevant information in a Manga Note or a Dark Side of Dimensions (DSoD) Note.**_

As this story is based on the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga and on the subtitled version of Dark Side of Dimensions, events from the anime, including the Noa's Arc, DOMA and Grand Prix, do not exist in this story.

 **DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS and TRANSCEND GAME NOTE:**  Transcend Game is a two part manga prequel to the movie. Kaiba is developing a system that will allow duelists to link their collective consciousness. While testing it and attempting to leave our dimension, he sees a vision of Atem and tries to follow it. He also sees a vision of Kisara. Mokuba stops the project before Kaiba dies in his attempt to cross into Atem's dimension.

In Dark Side of Dimensions, Kaiba creates a holographic avatar of Atem in his computer lab to duel. When Kaiba wins the duel, he realizes that creating a hologram isn't enough and excavates the pieces of the Puzzle (thereby turning the favorite motif of dozens of prideshipping fanfics into canon!) hoping to reassemble the Puzzle and force Atem to Earth to duel him. This goes about as well as you'd expect. Both he and Yugi end up fighting the antagonist, Diva, and a reincarnated version of Yami Bakura/Zorc.

 **NETHERWORLD NOTE:**  In Transcend Game, they refer to the world Atem leaves for after the Ceremonial Duel at the end of Yu-Gi-Oh! as the Netherworld. I used that name here because I like the way it emphasizes Atem's world as existing in another dimension.

_**Thanks to Kazuki Takahashi for creating such vibrant characters and continuing his story with Dark Sides of Dimensions.** _

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: DENYING ORPHEUS**

**DENIAL:**  Orpheus travels all the way to the Underworld to reclaim his wife, only to lose her by glancing back too soon. Half a world away, Izanagi undertakes a parallel mission in search of his own wife, Izanami. Two stories of trying to find lost loves, two stories about trying to bring them back. Two failures. Two stories among a sea of tales and no matter how fantastical the setting, they end the same way: with order restored, with reality firmly triumphant.

And yet... we're the story-tellers and the story listeners. Are these really the endings that we, in our heart of hearts, crave? Who do we want to see emerge triumphant – Orpheus or Death? Even as we accept the ending as correct and just, don't we secretly yearn to see Orpheus return to the sunlight with Eurydice? To see him cradle his wife in his arms, cup her face in his hands, look deeply and freely into her eyes before closing his own, not in death or horror, but simply as the prelude to a kiss.

_MORAL: We're the ones in the driver's seat. So why_ _ not _ _tell stories where the impossible happens? Why not, in the privacy of our own imaginations, choose what we truly want, rather than settle for what we can get?_

* * *

Seto Kaiba fell out of the sky. He landed on his feet as always. Kaiba scanned the barren sands, crossed his arms and snorted, unimpressed. He could have designed a better Netherworld in his sleep. That settled, he measured the distance to the palace and began striding towards his destination. He'd wound up a bit farther away than planned, but he still had enough time for the walk and a duel. He picked up his pace. The particles streaming off his arms and back were a reminder that he didn't belong here, that his time in this world was limited. Kaiba grinned. Domino had been sending him the same message for years and he'd ended up running the show.

As Kaiba neared his goal, he forced his game face on just long enough to make it to the throne room. But by the time he was facing Atem, a smile had stolen its way back. He'd done it.

Atem rose up to greet his guest. He was familiar with Kaiba's gloating smirk, with his triumphant grin, with his slightly unhinged laugh – the one fueled by a mix of adrenaline, rage and rivalry. But there was something different about Kaiba, today. For the first time, his smile was joyous as well.

… And of course, Kaiba's duel disk was already on his arm. Atem couldn't resist rolling his eyes at his rival as a smile started to dawn on his own face.

"Did you think I wouldn't be able to track you down?" Kaiba asked, his arm thrust out as if his duel disk was a weapon or a shield. He took a couple of steps forward, his heels clattering on the stone floor. Kaiba noticed the differences between the other Yugi he remembered and the pharaoh standing before him. He'd discounted them as swiftly. This was his rival. This was the man he'd come all this way to duel. His blood heated at the thought, just as it always did around Atem.

The guards stood straighter, evaluating this new and unexpected threat. They tightened their grips on their spears. Atem gestured with his hand, waving them off. They shouldered their weapons and filed from the room. Atem's councilors followed. Mahaad looked back at the door but left when Atem nodded.

Atem turned back to Kaiba. He shook his head at his rival and said, "I was going to ask what took you so long. I've been waiting for you. My only question was whether you'd do it with or without the Millennium Cube."

"I came on my own power using my own technology," Kaiba announced, gesturing with his duel disk again.

Atem nodded. "I would expect no less of you. And now that you're here..."

"Now that there's nowhere left for you to run, you mean? You know what I came for," Kaiba interrupted, his familiar scowl reappearing for the first time.

Back in Domino, Atem would have responded with a taunt of his own. Now, even his sigh was inward. After a pause he asked, "Do you? People have chased the Millennium Items throughout the ages. They believed possessing one granted you a wish of the heart. Does your technology do the same?"

Kaiba closed his eyes. What would he wish for? What had he wished for?  _"To see you,"_ he thought. "Wishes aren't real," he answered instead.

Atem snorted. "What am I, then?"

"You're real enough to duel."

Atem laughed. He'd almost forgotten how alive Kaiba was. Then he scanned Kaiba's face again and frowned. Kaiba was less angry than Atem remembered, but his rage had been replaced by sadness. The change was unacceptable. "How are you?" he asked.

"I'm here. That's how I am. How about you? Still dead?"

"I'm fine."

"Yeah. Yugi told me. You're fine," Kaiba scoffed. Throughout the years, Kaiba had often told himself (and everyone else within earshot) that he was fine; he'd learned to distrust the words.

"I wouldn't lie to Yugi!" Atem shouted. He took a couple of steps until he was facing Kaiba, standing dueling distance apart in the empty room.

"It's not the truth, either," Kaiba countered. "People say 'I'm fine' when they want to end the conversation. Otherwise they go on about every stupid thing they're thinking or feeling. But you're not telling me the color of the drapes in your little Netherworld palace. You were pretty glib about wishes of the heart a minute ago." Kaiba waved his arm around the palace hall. "Was this yours?"

"Kaiba, this is my home, now. And in case you haven't noticed, it doesn't have drapes."

"That's not an answer."

Atem laughed. A note of bitterness ran through it. "I've missed you." Atem's familiar smirk slid back into place. "Are you going to gloat now that I've admitted it?"

Kaiba frowned. "Don't mock me or I'll pack up right now and go home." He held a breath waiting for Atem's answer.

"I wasn't. I won't. Not in this. Why did you risk your life this way?"

Kaiba grinned. "I'm fine."

"It was still a risk – and not one I would have wanted you to face. If I had a wish, it's that you would have forgotten me the moment I left. Why did you do this?"

Kaiba glared at Atem. Admitting, "I don't know," was unacceptable. And Kaiba realized that the words,  _"I don't know,"_  could describe any aspect of this whole fantastical journey. He'd had to do this. He'd never stopped moving long enough to put a name to the force riding him.

"Why are you here, Kaiba?" The question was gentle, soft enough to answer.

"You know why I came. I told you back at Alcatraz that our road of battle continued. You agreed."

"Aaaahhhhh," Atem sighed. "Then let's duel."

Atem looked around, suddenly aware that he didn't have a duel disk. He looked hungrily at Kaiba's. He didn't need a duel disk, not here, but he missed it all the same.

Kaiba closed his eyes a minute in concentration. A second duel disk, identical to the one on Kaiba's arm appeared in front of Atem. Kaiba grinned in satisfaction. It was based on the same principle as his holographic deck. But seeing it here, large as life, was amazing. He spent another moment staring at it proudly, then drew himself up to his full height, looked down at Atem across the expanse and said, "Go ahead. Pick it up. When you put it on, you'll be connected to my duel links system. It will let you recreate your deck from memory, without needing physical cards."

Atem took a step forward. "Is it real?"

"Isn't it a little late in the day for that particular question?" Kaiba replied.

Atem chuckled and picked it up, sighing in satisfaction as the familiar weight settled on his arm. For a moment he could almost believe that his palace was one of Kaiba's holograms, that they were both back in Domino, that everything that had happened since was the illusion.

"Are you ready to lose?" Kaiba called out.

Atem enjoyed laughing in Kaiba's face. He watched his opponent's posture stiffen still further in response. "Are you sure about that?"

Kaiba snorted in place of a reply, barely hiding the thrill that shot through him at Atem's trademark retort. Kaiba set his opening card with a flourish. It was the Hitosame Giant… the first card Kaiba had ever played against Atem.

Atem smiled and set Winged Dragon, Guardian of the Fortress in response, answering Kaiba with his own initial card as well. "Let's see how far we've evolved since that day."

"I've waited for this. I've fought and schemed just to get to this moment. I've gone to bed and woken up dreaming of facing you, of seeing battle-fire light your eyes one last time. And now… it finally ends here." Kaiba grinned at Atem, a smile that surprised the other duelist with its pure happiness. "I'm glad that our end starts with our beginning."

"If this is truly to be a path of memories, should I expect to see Saggi and your Crush Card close at hand?" Atem teased.

"My Crush Card is of no use in this duel. I want to beat you with my strength, not by cutting you down to size." Kaiba slowly scanned Atem from head to toe. He smirked. "Which in your case is short enough."

They played a few turns in the charged silence that always characterized their mid-game. After several exchanges of monsters, Atem said, "Krystal Dragon followed by Assault Wyvern. Your dragon fetish has grown worse."

Kaiba grunted.

"You're playing more trap cards, too. You used to use them much more sparingly," Atem observed.

Kaiba grunted again.

"I thought you came here to talk?" Atem quizzed.

"I came here to duel."

Atem's mocking grin resurfaced, but it was gentler than it had been in Domino, warmed by the desert sun. "Isn't that the same thing?"

Kaiba shrugged. A smile tugged at his lips, demanding entrance.

"Trap cards…" Yami continued, "the most unpredictable cards in a deck, the ones that change the rules in midstream. Is your embrace of them a new strategy for controlling the uncontrollable... or have you finally learned to accept that there are some things even your fierce determination cannot change?"

"If I valued acceptance I wouldn't be here."

Atem's smile was impish. "Touché."

They returned to the game, to the shared silence that hid how acutely each was aware of the other. In unspoken agreement, they surrendered to the intensity that flowed through the duel like a living current, letting it pull them along in its wake… their hands flashing in a dance of parry and retreat, tapping out a staccato beat with each draw, their breaths quickening and slowing in unison, moving to the rhythm of an unseen drum.

Neither gained an advantage.

"Not as easy as you boasted it would be," Atem observed.

"Who wants easy? I'm going to savor this," Kaiba replied, knowing that he wasn't just talking about his impending win, but the rush of the duel itself. "If I could, I'd freeze time, so we could stay here, locked in combat forever."

"I wish you could." Atem closed his eyes. "Please, let this last as long as possible." It was a whispered invocation. Atem drew in a breath, released it and opened his eyes. It would be so quiet when Kaiba left.

Kaiba flashed his knife-edged grin. "I plan to draw this out until you're begging for mercy, until every card reminds you of all you're missing in this paradise of yours."

Atem laughed. "You're the one who traveled to the Netherworld looking for a duel. I'm curious to see what you've got. So far, your strategy of trying to bulldoze everyone and everything in your path is ridiculously familiar. You're going to need more than that to take me down."

Kaiba growled in response. Atem leaned into the half-feral sound, as if he could breathe it in. No one else taunted and threatened him. No one else made his breath catch with that exact combination of annoyance and excitement. Kaiba was an ache that he had one last chance to ease. Kaiba was a rasp under his skin that he had one last chance to exorcise for both their sakes. Kaiba was an invitation to a brawl and Atem had one last chance to throw himself into the fray.

"Enough dancing around. You asked what I wished for, earlier?" Atem hissed back. "I want this duel to echo through eternity. I want everything from you. I want to bare as much. I want to fight as we've always fought – no quarter asked or given – and then walk away calmed and at peace." Atem paused at Kaiba's sharp intake of breath. He waited a beat, listening to the sound of Kaiba's softly sighed exhale, before adding in a voice that was lower, but no less intense, "I want to see the mask that you wear shiver and break. I want to see you driven to your knees, helpless to hide the man inside, as you turn over the last card for the last time."

Kaiba's eyes flashed at that. "Dream on, pharaoh! Seeing you was my last thought at night, my first upon waking. It was the air I breathed, the food I pushed aside. But if you think that means that I will ever be helpless, especially before you, especially now that you've gone, especially here in this place I crossed dimensions to find, then you've forgotten everything you ever knew about me."

"Except how to beat you."

Kaiba laughed. "As usual, you're living in the past. Our history starts today with my victory."

Atem didn't respond to Kaiba's boast, suddenly sobered by the reminder that their history would end today as well.

They played a couple of turns in silence. Reality had outpaced even Kaiba's eidetic memory. He'd never felt as caught, as breathless before, too ensnared in the present to spare a thought for the future that was racing closer with each shared heartbeat. And each repeated round of clash and counter, each battle of wills, added to the tension, until every nerve was quivering, a string instrument played by a master hand. Kaiba looked across at Atem, at the pharaoh's heightened color, at the gleam in his eyes that no computer programmed hologram – even one of his own design – could match.

Atem's breath came faster and faster as each card fell. Even paradise would look a little grayer tomorrow, compared to this. Atem stared at Kaiba, willing himself to remember every detail… the grace and power of Kaiba's monsters… the way Kaiba himself was never dwarfed by even the mightiest of them, how Kaiba outshone the illusion of light that brightened the throne room, how he looked more solid, more real, more vibrantly alive in a palace built for those that had left, as if any dimension was too narrow to contain his boundless energy.

Kaiba played Pot of Greed, drew two cards and grinned. Atem had seen his lesser dragons… now it was time to bring the duel home. It was time to get what he'd come for. With a sweep of his arm, he activated Polymerization, fusing the three Blue Eyes White Dragons in his hand to summon Neo Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon. Three dragons shot straight into the air growing larger and brighter, twining in and around each other until they merged into his newest ultimate creation. She took the field, as eager as her owner to attack.

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Atem drank in the sound.

"You talked of evolution earlier?" Kaiba asked. "Behold the proof of how far I've come! See how my dragon reaches for the sky, held back no longer by fear or anger."

Atem stared at Kaiba's latest dragon, at Kaiba standing below it, glittering blue and white, rising out of the shadow cast by his monster. Kaiba's words thrilled Atem, left him shaking with pride that his own words to Kaiba in the ruins of Alcatraz had borne such fruit.

"Beautiful," Atem breathed. "This is the clash we've both been waiting for. Are you ready?"

"Bring it," Kaiba snarled, teeth bared, his breath coming in quick pants as if he'd already been struck.

"I promise. I will give you all you came for and more." Atem looked at Silver Fang, the sole monster he had on the field. He bent down and patted the wolf, amazed at the soft feel of fur on his fingers. Atem drew his next card and played Dark Magic Veil, drawing his life points down to the mere hundreds to summon the Dark Magician. It felt odd to call the card that held a sliver of Mahaad's soul into this battle, but how could it end any other way?

He looked down at the wolf again. "Thank you, my friend," he said as he played Magical Dimension. Silver Fang disappeared in a puff of smoke as the Dark Magician Girl bounced into the room, irrepressible as Mana herself.

Kaiba stared in disbelief. The last time his dragon had met Atem's magicians in battle, he'd been in his computer lab, playing by himself, trying to trick himself into believing in his own illusion. He drew in a breath and shook his head. He looked across the dueling field. Then he smiled. This was his rival. This was his duel. This was real. It was everything he wanted, everything he'd launched himself across dimensions to gain.

Atem played one final spell card, allowing his monsters to attack. "It's time to duel!" he yelled. "Double Magician's Attack!"

"Don't underestimate me!" Kaiba roared.

Atem stared at him, mouth open. "Sometimes you miss the point so thoroughly I have to wonder how you manage to do it. I have  _never_  underestimated you. Not once. Not when you were in a coma. Not at any time since."

Kaiba exhaled. Atem's response reached deep into some secret place inside of Kaiba, spread balm on a wound that Kaiba hadn't realized he had carried until its ache had eased. In his computer lab, he'd programmed dozens of responses Atem could make, but Atem's words rang truer than any of his imagining.

Kaiba straightened his already erect posture. He was ready for whatever happened next. "You must realize that this will be your final turn. This is the end, Atem," Kaiba said, naming his rival for the first and last time in their duel.

Atem smirked. "Are you sure about that?"

Kaiba's tongue flickered over his lips, his throat was suddenly dry. The familiar challenge felt oddly like a caress… or a farewell.

Atem turned over Dimension Reflector.

Kaiba stared at Atem's card, eyes wide as though he'd already lost. He glanced at his face down card – Enhanced Counter – the same card that had lain in front of him in his computer lab. By some ridiculous, random coincidence – or what Atem would probably refer to as fate – they'd managed to recreate the finals moments of the holographic duel he'd had with the false Atem in his computer lab back in Domino.

"I win, Kaiba," Atem said quietly as he called his attack.

Kaiba laughed then played his trap card. He didn't care that he was about to lose. This was what he'd come for. He wanted to know what the real Atem would have done, what strategy beyond Kaiba's imagining he would come up with to turn certain defeat into unimaginable victory, to prove himself even greater than Kaiba could have dreamed.

Kaiba watched as the Dark Magician and his apprentice blasted his mighty beast. The smoke cleared. His dragon rose up in glory. Kaiba crossed his arms, leaned back and waited for Atem to mount his inevitable counter-attack, the one that would leave Kaiba shaken, and – as Atem had predicted – on his knees.

His dragon unsheathed her hyper ultimate blast, burst of white and blue lightning pouring from each of her three mouths.

Kaiba stared in disbelief. Atem hadn't countered his move. It was over. He'd won.

Kaiba's face turned ashen. He suppressed a flash of anger, of outrage almost. It wasn't supposed to be like this. His voice was so devoid of emotion that Atem wondered which of them was no longer among the living as Kaiba said, "Damn you."

"Kaiba! What is it? You've won."

Kaiba ignored him. He stared at the empty space between them, half expecting the throne room to disappear, dumping him back at Kaiba Corporation or in his bed at home... waiting for this to turn out to be just another hallucination. He looked at his arm. The steady tick of particles rising from his form, racing back to his world, reassured him. "In my test lab…" Kaiba said slowly, "I defeated you with this card."

"What are you talking about? We've never dueled in your lab!" Atem said.

Kaiba shook his head impatiently. "Not you. The dueling avatar I created from my memories of you."

"Oh… Kaiba…" Atem whispered.

The words were spoken so softly, they barely reached Kaiba; it was hard to tell if they registered. "I played this card to win that duel. I was sure that once we met for real, you'd have an answer for it, one beyond my understanding."

Atem drew his next card. Counter-Counter appeared. He held it up. "I did. Once again, I was too late. Time is on your side, Kaiba, not mine."

Kaiba shook his head, still stunned, as shaken and lost by his victory as he'd been after each defeat.

"You've won," Atem repeated.

"I'm your equal," Kaiba replied.

"You always were. I've told you that before."

"I've never believed it before."

Atem held Kaiba's gaze. "It was good to duel you again."

It was starting to sink in. He'd done it. It was over. Kaiba frowned.

"Kaiba?" Atem asked, turning his rival's name into a question. Atem had been prepared for gloating. He'd been ready to let Kaiba rub his victory in Atem's face, to grant Kaiba a winner's due, just as Kaiba had heard him out when they'd stood above the rubble of Alcatraz in their last duel. "You've surprised me again. I expected you to boast..."

"I know. I did too," Kaiba answered, hands still hanging loosely at his side.

Kaiba knew how he was supposed to feel: triumphant or satisfied or something beyond empty. He'd come all this way to prove to Atem – to prove to himself – that he was Atem's equal, that he was capable of change, that he'd grown past the man who'd stood on the top of his Duel Tower at Alcatraz and watched his dragons die.

And now all that was left was letting go of their rivalry… and of Atem.

Kaiba had traded away so many things. Even more had been wrested from his grasp no matter how tightly he'd tried to hold on. He'd never had to let anything go, before.

But Yami was still standing, staring at him, and his eyes had always been too penetrating. "Well…" Kaiba said awkwardly. "I guess this is good-bye. We didn't get to say that before."

Atem answered, "I couldn't, before. Without a duel it would have been meaningless, anyway. Neither of us would have believed in it. Whatever you needed, please take it home with you. Live a good life, Kaiba."

It was impossible for Kaiba, even though he was limiting himself to stolen glances, to mistake the sadness and regret in Atem's face. "At his late date, are you still daring to pity me?" he snarled.

Atem laughed at that. "Thank you for missing the point one last time. My sadness isn't for your benefit, but my own. I will miss you, Seto Kaiba," he repeated.

Kaiba smiled briefly. He nodded in acknowledgement and swept out, wanting to be out of sight before he disappeared, needing to be the one to break eye contact first.

Everything had gone according to Kaiba's plan. And nothing had.

Now that he was safely out of the palace, Kaiba watched dispassionately as the particles that made up his body kept fleeing this world for his own, their rate of escape accelerating. Soon he'd be back in his space station. He'd be riding down in his space elevator. Mokuba was waiting.

Atem stood, staring at the doorway, long after Kaiba had left his throne room. It was strange knowing Kaiba that was disappearing, not just from view, but from his world as well. That he'd never see his rival again. It had been true in Egypt, when he'd left without a word. It seemed even more final, now.

Mahaad came back into the chamber. "At least it's over."

"Yes." Atem sighed.

"You can relax. You've been on edge for weeks awaiting his arrival, my prince."

"Atem."

Mahaad bowed. "As you wish."

"And this is the perfect place for relaxing, for letting go of the world beyond our borders," Atem said slowly. The immediate thought that followed, _"...or at least it should be,"_  remained unspoken. Atem walked into the courtyard. Mahaad followed like a second shadow. Atem sat next to an ornamental pool and watched the fish. It reminded him of the koi ponds in the Domino parks.

"This is a fitting reward for a life of strife," Mahaad noted. He glanced at the pharaoh. "It  _is_  the end, isn't it?"

Atem nodded. He kept his voice calm as he stared at the fish circling in their oval prison. "Kaiba won't be back. He's won. He's gotten whatever he came for." Atem leaned down and ruffled the smooth surface of the water. He watched the ripples fade away in silence. He'd accomplished his final mission. He'd helped Kaiba find the peace he was looking for. Why was that so hard to remember? "When I first came to this Netherworld, I'd wondered why my high priest wasn't here to greet me."

"How could he be here when he walks the earth?" Mahaad asked. "Seto was born anew. He grew as the gods willed. One life cannot dictate the next."

"Do you think, when his life has once again reached its end that he will rejoin us here?"

"Who knows what the fates have in store for him? Perhaps, if he accepts this place as his destiny."

Atem looked down. His lips twisted into a frown. "The answer is, 'no,' then. He is truly gone."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for agreeing to beta this story – and for coming up with the title, "A River in Egypt." I can't express how much your encouragement and friendship means to me.** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  I loved Dark Side of Dimensions. It was so exciting to get a new Yu-Gi-Oh! story after so many years, and one that focused on Kaiba and his reaction to Atem's leaving was icing on the cake. It was a deeply heartfelt look at grief and the different reactions to loss. I really loved how open the ending was, and how no matter your interpretation of it, you could find something in the movie to feel satisfy it.

And of course, I couldn't resist exploring what I think happened next.

In addition to Bnomiko, I'd like to thank Splintered Star, Rainstormcolors, The Cryptographic_Delurk, Dueling Destiny and so many of the friends I've made online for listening to me try to sort out just what story I was telling.

Posting the first chapter of a story always makes me nervous, because I live with both the story and my own doubts about it for so long, and then the comes the point where you have to let people read it or pretend you never started writing it at all. This should be a simple decision, but it's one I always feel anxious about.

_**One of my favorite quotes, is the line from Dune: "Beginnings are such delicate times." I find this true for stories, and I'd love to know what you think of this beginning. Please comment.** _

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:** I am on Dreamwidth, Tumblr and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!


	2. The Unknown Orpheus

**FANART LINK: kuriiiiiiiiiii on tumblr did an incredible piece of art illustrating the story.  Please check it out! It's gorgeous.[Link to kuriiiiiiiiiii's art on tumblr](https://kuriiiiiiiiiii.tumblr.com/post/180916461805/if-i-could-id-freeze-time-so-we-could-stay)**

* * *

 

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In "Transcend Game," the manga prequel to the movie, Kaiba is developing a system that will allow duelists to link their collective consciousness. While testing it and attempting to leave our dimension, he sees a vision of Atem and tries to follow it. He also sees a vision of Kisara. Mokuba stops the project before Kaiba dies in his attempt to cross into Atem's dimension.

In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," the antagonist, Diva, uses a mystical cube to travel between dimensions, and boasts that Kaiba would be unable to figure out how it works. But it's always risky to underestimate Kaiba!

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: THE UNKNOWN ORPHEUS**

DENIAL: Orpheus was an ancient Greek rock star. And as with any celebrity, part of his life is written neon bright… how he went to the after-life to free his wife, how he looked back too soon, how he lost her forever. But as with any celebrity, so much more remains in shadow. We all know Eurydice's fate… she gets dragged back to the underworld. But what about Orpheus? What happened to him after his not-so-triumphant return? As it turns out, plenty, although the details vary with the version. He became a hermit, he never loved again, he never looked at another woman but men were a different story, he became a follower of Apollo. He was ripped to shreds by jealous wives or the worshippers of a jealous god. His disembodied head kept singing and possibly became an oracle until Apollo asked him to stop revealing the future to anyone who would listen. That's a lot of life to get conveniently kicked under the rug in the pause between, "and then he got back from the underworld," to "and then he died."

_MORAL: There's plenty of life left even after visiting the after-life. The trick is deciding what to do with it._

* * *

Kaiba strode from the palace after his victory. His only goal was to put as much distance as possible between himself and Atem before he vanished in a puff of smoke like a third-rate villain in a fourth-rate video game. The dark particles rising from his body billowed behind him like a swirling, shifting shadow before escaping back to his world. Kaiba picked up the pace. Something flew overhead; it was large enough to cast a shadow over both Kaiba and his surroundings. He looked up and smiled when he saw a dragon – no, when he saw his dragon – flying directly above. His grin turned incredulous as she turned, swooped and then glided to a landing in front of him.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

Kaiba had expected his dragon to sound fierce or angry or threatening. And yet somehow, this quiet voice that echoed in his head felt right.

"Anywhere. As far from the palace as I can get before I disappear," he answered.

She inclined her head. "You could go farther if we flew."

Kaiba hesitated; it was one dream too many to hold in his hands. He'd fought and schemed to get to Atem, and now a second wish was being offered freely, without his even asking. "You would permit me… you would let…"

"Yes," she said, breaking into his disjointed words.

They were aloft instantly, the ascent closer to a vertical lift than anything except a rocket had managed. As Kisara spiraled upwards through the air, Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. Kisara leveled their path. Kaiba stretched out his arms; the rush of the wind pummeled his body as they raced through the sky.

"Night after night… I dreamed of this." The wind snatched the words from his mouth as he uttered them. Kisara heard them nonetheless.

"Does reality match?" she asked.

"It's even better."

"I'm glad."

Kaiba shook his head. "The whole time I was figuring out how to get here, I never dared hope you'd be here as well… I never thought that…"

"You never thought, period," she interrupted, "or you would not have attempted such a foolish thing as coming to the Netherworld."

"But I did it!" Kaiba protested. "Diva told me I'd never figure out how the cube worked." Kaiba snorted. "He should have known – there's nothing I can't hack. But I didn't need his cube. I went back to my original prototype."

"The one that almost killed you the first time you tried to reach this Netherworld?"

"Yeah, but it didn't!" Kaiba boasted. He paused, then added, "I thought I saw something… a girl… the shadow of a dragon…"

"I was trying to warn you to go back."

"I did go back," Kaiba pointed out, conveniently overlooking the fact that his brother had been the one to stop his first attempt to reach the Netherworld before it killed him. "Once I knew that traveling between dimensions was possible, once I studied the Millennium Cube, I knew I could recreate the same effect with my own technology. I had been on the wrong track, the first time, but not by much. And then I got distracted, I tried to drag the pharaoh to me. I should have known that wouldn't work, that if I wanted to see… uh… that if I wanted a duel, I'd have to come here. But the whole nonsense with Diva wasn't a total waste of time. That's when I knew I had to adapt the initial idea for the pods into a Dimensional Canon…" Kaiba stopped short – aware that, for the first time since he'd tried to explain to Gozaburo why games were important – he was babbling.

"You did well," Kisara said.

Kaiba ducked his head. " _He_  didn't think so,"

"Didn't he? Hasn't he always?"

Kaiba thought for a moment. Atem's praise rang in his ears. "I guess you're right."

Kisara gave a low rumble of approval. "I'm a dragon with 3,000 years of experience. I'm used to being right."

The black particles were streaming off Kaiba faster now, almost hiding his form. "I'd like to see your face before I return," Kaiba said. "I don't want to just disappear without a word… without even saying a real good-bye."

Kisara began her descent. Kaiba stood up and leapt from her back while she was still airborne. He straightened up, put his hands on his hips and laughed. "I've always wanted to do that. Jump from a dragon for real."

He was little more than a swirling shadow. Soon, not trace would be left, no hint that he'd ever come into this world, that he'd ever dueled its king.

He hadn't spoken aloud, but Kisara answered him anyway. "Not quite. I'll remember. So will the pharaoh. Your presence will echo here as long as memory lasts."

"I wish… I wish I could take you back with me," he said, his voice almost unbearably young.

"You know that cannot be. But the walls between our worlds have thinned. Your presence here is proof of that. The next time you summon me to your side, look closely and you will know that I am with you, wherever you reside."

"Do you have… What's your name?"

"Kisara."

"Kisara, " he repeated. Kaiba came forward and stroked the underside of her jaw, glad that he could still feel. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. I've been chasing my future for so long."

"And now you've caught it." She exhaled softly, but her breath ruffled his hair, brushing it off his forehead.

For the second time he ducked his head awkwardly; it took a dragon to make Seto Kaiba look like an unfledged teenager. "What happens next?" he asked.

"What do you want to happen?" she replied.

It took Kaiba a moment to realize that her question was her answer to his. "What…" Kaiba paused. He had no idea how to finish his own sentence. He opened his mouth again, but before he could figure it out, he disappeared.

He came back to consciousness in his space station, as if he'd never shot himself through dimensions, as if he'd never fought a duel with a pharaoh and won, as if he'd never ridden through the sky on his dragon's back. Kaiba shook his head, orienting himself. He looked around his space station, then walked to the window to stare at the stars. Atem… Kisara… the Netherworld… they were all out there, somewhere. Kaiba drew in a breath and turned his back on the view. He headed for his space elevator. He'd gotten his duel. He'd won. He had a business to run and a brother to raise.

He touched the KC pin on the front of his coat. "I'm back at the space station. I'll be downstairs soon." He thought he heard Mokuba sobbing, but he had clicked off too soon to be sure. He frowned. His plan had worked. It wasn't like Mokuba to get upset over nothing. The ride down seemed endless. He checked his watch. He'd only been gone for a few hours.

The elevator doors finally opened. He took a step forward and was knocked backwards when Mokuba barrelled into him. Kaiba managed to leave the elevator half carrying Mokuba along with him.

"You're back!" Mokuba yelled. He was hugging Kaiba so tightly, Kaiba's arms were pinned against his side.

"Yes." Kaiba waited. Mokuba didn't let go.

"I was so scared! I didn't know what was going to happen! I was afraid… I was afraid I'd lose you for good this time."

"You would have been okay, Mokuba. I'd never leave you in the lurch. You would have been financially secure with your interests protected. I planned for every contingency."

"I don't want a plan! I want you! And you didn't even promise to come back." Mokuba sobbed and buried his face in Kaiba's chest.

It had only been a few hours, just long enough for a walk and a duel, but in that time Mokuba had seen his entire life stretching out ahead of him, alone and brotherless. Kaiba managed to free an arm. He rested his hand on his brother's hair. Mokuba's shoulders finally stopped shaking. He wiped his nose against his brother's shirt. Mokuba didn't release his grip, but he managed to loosen it enough to look up at Kaiba. "What was it like?"

"The scenery was boring. Atem was…" Kaiba paused. He smiled as he thought of Atem, of the way his eyes had flashed with familiar fire as he'd summoned his monsters, of the pride and acknowledgement in them as he'd assured Kaiba that he was his equal. "Atem was the same as always. Preachy as ever and still into friendship speeches. He looked a bit different, even less like Yugi than ever, although I don't know how anyone could have ever confused them."

Kaiba paused, then added, "I met her. My dragon. The Blue Eyes White Dragon. She said her name was Kisara."

"You did what?" Mokuba's eyebrows disappeared even farther into his bangs.

Kaiba smiled. "I flew on her back."

Mokuba stared at his brother a moment longer, his face scrunched up in puzzlement. Then he shrugged to himself. His brother had just gone to an unimaginable dimension. Why shouldn't there be a dragon there?

"What was it like flying on a real live Blue Eyes White Dragon?" Mokuba asked.

"It was something." Kaiba paused. "I wish you'd been there."

Mokuba nodded. He wished he'd been there too. "Someone had to mind the shop."

Kaiba frowned. That was his job – or it should have been. And now that he considered the matter, the thought of his brother hurtling through dimensions, of his small body disintegrating before Kaiba's eyes… "Anyway, the Dimensional Cannon burned up on the launch." Kaiba shrugged. "It served its purpose."

Mokuba beamed up at his brother. He'd been almost afraid to ask. "Great! So that means you won!"

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Of course."

Mokuba finally let go of Kaiba to punch the air. He jumped up and down. "You did it! You beat him, Nisama!"

Kaiba's cocky smirk returned to his face for the first time since his return. "I can do anything I set my mind to."

Everyone had thought he'd fail, that he was crazy for trying. Yugi Mutou, self-appointed expert on all things regarding Atem, had told him to move on, to give in, to give up. But he'd done it. He'd stood before Atem and demanded a duel. He'd defied fate, he'd defied common sense, he'd defied physics, reality, and the god damned definitions of time and space, of life and death itself. And he'd won. He'd shown this world and the next that he was Seto Kaiba and nobody else's rules could keep him in line. Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. There was no better feeling.

Mokuba beamed up at him, his face finally relaxed. "Good. I'm glad it's over."

Kaiba didn't answer. But Mokuba was used to not getting one.

He was also used to watching his brother. In the days that followed it was clear that the manic energy that had led to the tournament and to Kaiba jumping into an untested prototype in pursuit of his rival was gone. But nothing seemed to have replaced it. Kaiba went through the motions of running his company and monitoring his city as efficiently as ever. But the passion for doing both was gone.

"Have you talked to Yugi?" Mokuba finally asked.

"Why? What would there be to say?"

"You could tell him that you actually made it to the Netherworld!"

"That was between Atem and me." Kaiba frowned at the idea of sharing it with Yugi.

"How about that you saw Atem on his home turf and beat him!"

Kaiba shrugged. That had been personal as well.

"I don't get it. I thought you'd want to rub it in everyone's face!"

Kaiba frowned. Telling Yugi would mean admitting something the runt already knew and was too polite to mention: that Kaiba had wanted some kind of acknowledgement from a dead man badly enough to chase him all the way to another dimension to get it. Telling Yugi would mean losing all over again… not to an opponent but to the realization even after his victory, he still missed Atem. If the goal now was moving on, Kaiba wasn't about to lose the race by standing still.

"There's no point. Yugi already said his goodbyes," Kaiba said.

"And you got to say yours, too," Mokuba reminded him.

Kaiba smiled. "Yes. I did. And I won. That's something."

Mokuba's face scrunched up until he looked like a cartoon baby animal. "Something? I thought that was everything!"

Kaiba nodded.

It was. It should have been.

It bothered Kaiba, the way Mokuba watched him. Mokuba had refused to go to school for a week; he'd spent the time in Kaiba's office. Kaiba had indulged him. He'd gone off to the Netherworld, leaving Mokuba in charge of Kaiba Corporation on what he had to admit was a personal quest. Giving Mokuba the week off seemed fair enough.

He drove Mokuba to school on Monday. Mokuba sat in the car when they reached the building, making no move to leave.

"I don't see why I have to go to school. You didn't." Mokuba pouted.

"I was home-schooled."

Mokuba frowned. He sat straighter in the seat, drawing himself up to his full, if inadequate, height. He stuck out his chin. "We both know that's not how it was."

Kaiba's knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. For an instant, the car faded; he was back in the mansion; it was midnight. He could feel the dog collar tightening around his neck, the riding crop caressing the underside of his jaw. A sudden shock of rage pulsed through his veins, snapping him back to the present. It pounded in his ears, demanding release. He pressed his lips tightly together. He could count the times that he'd yelled at Mokuba since Death-T on one hand with a couple of fingers left over. He wasn't going to add to that number. He'd changed. He'd won.

Mokuba put his hand on his brother's arm. Kaiba looked down.

"I'm sorry, Nisama," Mokuba whispered.

Kaiba drew in a breath then let it out, then drew in another. When he could speak without yelling, Kaiba raised a hand from the steering wheel to smooth Mokuba's hair. "What's wrong, Mokuba? I've been back for a week."

"I was afraid of losing you forever."

"I was the one who designed the Dimensional Cannon. Do you really think I'm that incompetent?"

"Of course not!"

"You're going to have to let me out of your sight."

"I can't. I'm afraid you'll leave again, and this time it'll be for good."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're not how I thought you'd be… all happy and gloating. I thought I'd get the brother who smiled back! I thought if I went along one more time it would finally all work out!"

Kaiba started to say, "It has," then found that he couldn't. Mokuba was right. It should be over. It  _was_  over. He'd won. He'd gotten what he'd wanted. And yet, it felt like he'd left something behind as well.

Mokuba bit his lip. "I was afraid that you'd want to stay, that you'd forget to come home."

Kaiba snorted. "The place was a dump. It didn't even have running water. And no coffee."

Mokuba grinned, gave him a final hug and got out of the car.

Kaiba sat for a moment. He leaned forward and rested his head on his hands as they gripped the steering wheel.  _"I thought you'd forget to come home."_  He closed his eyes and saw a speeding car, an icy road and a tree. When they'd brought the news of his father's death, he'd been too stunned to think. Later, he'd heard his aunt and uncle talking late into the night, whining about his father's selfishness in taking the easy way out, in burdening them with a pair of unwanted strays. He'd lain in bed, with Mokuba snoring softly at his side, and wondered: had his father been racing to get home to see them… or had he been hurtling towards a different destination?

Then his aunt and uncle had found their own way to shove their burdens onto someone else and he'd stopped caring.

Kaiba restarted the engine and pulled into traffic. Soon he was just another speeding car on another road. He gripped the steering wheel, torn between anger and guilt. Mokuba had actually thought that Kaiba would abandon him. But as Kaiba raced forwards he had to admit: it was easy to scoff at the Netherworld, to joke about its lack of plumbing, to mock the dullness of a world where the most advanced technology was the invention of the wheel. But if he hadn't been the older brother, if he hadn't had Mokuba waiting back home… if Atem had suggested a rematch….

Kaiba wasn't sure what his answer would have been.

A dimension away, Atem sat in his throne room, staring into space. A week ago, Kaiba had barged into his palace demanding a duel. A smile flickered across Atem's lips before he wrenched his thoughts back to the empty room, to the lands outside… to his domain.

It should be over. It was over. Kaiba had gotten what he'd come for. Atem had helped him as best he could. He'd owed Kaiba that. Letting go of Kaiba should be simple, as effortless as the rest of this world.

Mana bounded into his throne room, distracting him. Atem smiled. It was impossible to do anything else.

"C'mon! It's beautiful out and you're sitting in this stuffy old room!" She ran up and grabbed his hand.

"Are you daring to call my throne room stuffy?" Atem drew himself up to his full height and tried to glare at her, but his grin spoiled the effect.

"I sure am! What are you going to do about it?"

"Mana!" Mahaad said as he came into the room, turning her name into a rebuke.

Mana grinned at him as well. "Didn't you say it would be great if the pharaoh got out for some air?"

Mahaad pressed his lips together and looked away.

They walked past the courtyard, down to the river. Green fields rolled into the distance on the other side, as far as the eye could see.

Mahaad sighed in satisfaction. "Can you not feel the peace of this world in every whisper of the breeze as it rustles its way through the reeds?"

"I can indeed," Atem said.

"The gods are generous. You, of all of us, deserve the serenity you did so much to preserve."

"Thank you, my friend," Atem said as they reached the river. Mahaad was right. He'd fulfilled his mission, protected his people and freed his partner to live his own life, unhindered by Atem's presence. He hadn't wavered or faltered along the way, not even to say goodbye to Kaiba. He hadn't looked back, not even for a last glimpse of Yugi. And he'd been rewarded. Everyone agreed: he deserved this place, this unendingly peaceful life. But ever since Kaiba had arrived and demanded a duel, what Atem deserved and what he wanted sometimes seemed to be two very different things.

Had Kaiba's restlessness infected him, like a virus traveling through the dimensions along with its host, reaching out to sicken Atem? Or had the discontent been there, hidden, like kindling drying unnoticed in the sun, waiting for a flame? It was easy to blame Kaiba for his own uneasy thoughts, but were they truly Kaiba's fault or had his rival simply held up a mirror and dared Atem to gaze inside?

It was so easy to close his eyes, to go back in time to Kaiba's tournament, to face Diva again with everything on the line, to be part of Yugi again, to duel again… to regret missing the chance to see Kaiba again, because regret was as much a part of life as joy. When Atem had stepped into Kaiba's stadium for that one final time, he'd tasted his old life. It had been enough to leave him hungry in a land of fulfillment, aching for a world he'd walked away from but could not leave behind.

And yet, this was his world now. It wasn't just paradise… it was home. Its green and blue beauty soothed something deep inside of him. He'd followed a path long fated, but more than duty or even destiny held him here. He had friends as dear as the ones he'd forsaken. Mahaad's stern exterior hid a heart as gentle as Yugi's; Mana's smile was just as irrepressible. Each day he learned more about the people he'd once known so well, each day they became even more precious, lighting a hearth-fire that warmed him through the night.

Atem stood staring at the river for a moment too long. Mana snuck up behind him and pushed him in. He landed with a splash that soaked her as well. She laughed and joined him in the water. The afternoon held all of the peace that Mahaad had promised. Atem played with Mana. He swam with Mahaad. He joked and talked and listened. But part of Atem was still dueling Kaiba, was still listening for his rival's snarled challenges... his heart was still beating in time with each exchange, with each turn of the cards.

This place was paradise. But it had taken Kaiba's arrival to make him feel fully alive in it.

Atem drew in a breath. Enough melancholy for one day. He was here and the sun was shining. Atem shook his head, spraying water in all directions. He grinned and dove at Mana, grabbing her ankle and dragging her back under water. They reached the surface together. He splashed at her and then turned to Mahaad. "Paradise, indeed."

They climbed out of the river, watched the sunset together, then headed home. They ate dinner. Kalim and the rest of his council joined them. They drank. It was late when Atem climbed into his bed, smiling as he closed his eyes, unsure which world he hoped to dream of.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  Second chapters are kind of funny because they have to do their part in setting up the story and at the same time be a worthwhile follow-up to the opening chapter. In this chapter, I thought it was necessary for both characters to try to sort out what had just happened, and why nothing – including their emotions – played out the way they expected. I also couldn't resist having Kaiba meet Kisara, and assuming that she was in the Netherworld, I couldn't imagine her passing up the chance to see him! I've always had the vague feeling that a dragon might be who Kisara is at heart. And considering how disastrous things went for Kisara as a girl, given the choice she might prefer to be a dragon. I can also see her, with 3,000 years of experience under her belt, looking at Kaiba as a young, fledgling dragon.

**ANCIENT EGYPT PLUMBING NOTE:**  Ancient Egypt actually did have plumbing including copper pipes, mainly used in irrigation systems. However, I could see Kaiba being very disparaging about not just their plumbing but their technology in general, especially since he's trying to hold onto his disdain for everything about the world that Atem chose over this one. So, I see his comments being more about his feelings about Atem.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	3. Different River, Same Problem

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In the movie, Kaiba builds a space station to guard the Puzzle and to assemble it in zero gravity. At the end of the movie, it's where he launches his Dimensional Cannon, which takes him to the netherworld and Atem.

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: DIFFERENT RIVER, SAME PROBLEM**

BARGAINING: The Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters is set in a cemetery. The residents, through a series of poems, tell their stories – and gossip about each other, hold on to old grudges, rant about real and perceived injustices... and occasionally try to make sense of the lives they can't quite abandon.  
 __  
MORAL: Stories and poems about death usually focus on the living. Spoon River suggests it may be just as hard for the dead to let go of the things that matter.  


* * *

As Yugi hurried to class, he tried to decide what had changed and what had stayed the same. He'd graduated high school. He was in college. Jounouchi and Honda weren't flanking him in the hallways. Anzu was in New York. He was still going to class.

He was popular. Kids wanted to sit next to him. They wanted to ask questions.  _"Is it fun winning all the time? What really went on at Kaiba's tournament?"_  Once, Yugi would have stepped back and let Atem or Jounouchi answer. But Atem was gone and Jounouchi wasn't sitting next to him, ready to jump in. So Yugi had smiled, ducked his head and given the best answer he could: "I'm not sure." Occasionally, they'd ask, _"Why did Kaiba smile like that at your match?"_  But Yugi had never known what any of Kaiba's smiles had meant, and that one least of all.

Even when he hadn't answered (or given the right answers), they still sat next to him and talked about the class or the teacher or the weather. Yugi had wished for friends in high school. He'd gotten them. He'd lost one, forever. The idea of new friends was strange, something he hadn't expected or considered.

Yugi slowed down as he reached the campus. Ryou Bakura was waiting. Yugi waved and crossed the street to join him. They both wanted to be game designers. They had a couple of classes together. Nothing they were studying seemed likely to lead to game design, but they were both philosophical. They were both ready for the normalcy of wondering if their classes would ever make sense. That had been familiar in high school as well.

"How are you?" Bakura asked. It was their usual check-in.

Yugi smiled. "Fine."

Bakura reached out to touch his arm, successfully translating "fine" as "I'm trying."

"Me too," Bakura said. "I'm getting used to… you know… everything." Bakura had never sorted out just how he'd felt about the Spirit of the Ring. It wasn't that Bakura missed the spirit exactly, it was more that he was gone, and welcome or not, his absence left a gap.

Yugi nodded. "That's good."

"It's weird, meeting all these new people," Bakura said.

Yugi nodded again.

"I mean, I've changed schools before, but it's different, now. I keep telling myself I can invite people over. I don't have to worry. I forget sometimes and then I have to remind myself. It gets easier every day," Bakura assured him.

Yugi gave him a thumbs up. "And we're both going to keep moving forward. Our whole lives are ahead of us. That's what matters." Yugi laughed. "I sounded like Kaiba, didn't I?"

Bakura smiled. "How is he?"

Yugi shrugged. "I haven't seen him since the duel." Yugi had looked for Kaiba at graduation, even though Kaiba hadn't attended a single class since the day he'd first sat down to play a penalty game with Atem. That had been years ago. The duel with Diva had been the first and last time they'd really talked, the first time Kaiba had looked at him without also seeing Atem. "I emailed him and asked how he was doing. I got a one word answer: 'Working.'"

Bakura chuckled. "That sounds like him." He paused and then added, "That duel changed a lot of things."

"I got to see my partner again."

"I finally believed the Spirit of the Ring was gone," said Bakura at the same time.

They both smiled at each other and added, "I'm glad it's over."

As they reached their class, Yugi wondered if they should name themselves, "The Moving-On Club," and if it was okay for a club to have only two members.

Across town, Kaiba was pretending to work. His computer was on; he was staring at the screen. He was thinking about Atem.

Atem had told him at Alcatraz that even if he won, he'd never stop chasing the next victory on the next horizon. Atem hadn't been right.

But he hadn't been wrong, either.

Kaiba had hunted Atem right into a different dimension. And now there was nothing left to chase. Kaiba frowned and tapped his fingers on the desktop. Why didn't it feel over?

The barely-heard sound of knuckles brushing against the office door broke into Kaiba's thoughts, unprofitable as they were. Only two people would dare to knock on his door after he'd said that he didn't want to be disturbed. Only one would do it so deferentially.

"Come in," Kaiba said to Isono. He returned his attention to the monitor. Isono came into the room and slid some papers on his desk.

Kaiba didn't look up. A couple of minutes ticked by. Isono wondered what his boss was seeing.

"Do you remember what Diva said?" Kaiba asked, his gaze still on his screen. "About memory connecting us, about how our memories held the world together? I knew then that I could use them as a string, that I could follow anywhere… even to the Netherworld."

"And back home again," Isono added. "That's important, too. I'm glad you're safe, sir."

Kaiba steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them briefly. He looked at Isono for the first time. "I won."

Isono nodded. "You got what you went for, sir."

It was hard to tell if Isono was stating a fact or asking a question – and only one of those two options was acceptable. Kaiba narrowed his eyes and scanned Isono's face, but his subordinate, as usual, had kept his sunglasses on. "I won," Kaiba snarled. There was a hint of danger in his voice, or of warning. Kaiba shook his head. "Logically, that should be the end of it. As you pointed out, I got what I wanted."

Isono coughed into his hand. "Connections are rarely that easy to sever, sir."

"Is this your way of telling me, like Yugi did, that it's time to move on?"

"The last time someone tried to tell you that, you moved right on to another dimension."

Kaiba smiled. "You can go," he said. "I'll look at this stuff later."

Isono bowed and left. Kaiba went back to staring at the computer screen until it was time to go home.

Several hours later and a dimension away, Atem lay in bed waiting for sleep. He wondered what time it was in Domino. He'd forgotten to ask Kaiba if time ran in sync however far apart their worlds were. It would be nice if it did... if right now, Kaiba was turning down the covers and climbing into bed, finally ready to put the day and its worries aside. Atem chuckled to himself. No matter how time ran, he couldn't imagine Kaiba tamely surrendering to sleep.

Kaiba opened his eyes and looked around. He remembered going home. He remembered going to bed. Now he was in his space station dressed in his dueling outfit. There was only one logical conclusion to draw...

Kaiba walked over to the windows, looked out and frowned. The stars were so close. It was an optical illusion, of course. They were brighter without Earth's pollution and ambient light, but not, relatively speaking, appreciably closer.

He heard a chuckle behind him. "Overanalyzing everything, again?"

Kaiba turned to face Atem. He crossed his arms and stood even straighter, leaning back to increase the appearance of height. "This is a dream," Kaiba stated.

"That would mean you're dreaming of me," Atem pointed out.

Kaiba frowned. He probably was, but that didn't mean he was going to agree so easily. He studied the man before him. Atem's face was thinner, his skin darker than when he'd shared a body with Yugi. He was dressed like a pharaoh. His forehead, chest and arms were covered in gold; it dripped from his earlobes. This was the man Kaiba dueled in the Netherworld, not the pale copy conjured up by Kaiba's faulty memories in his computer lab.

"For all I know, you're the one dreaming and I'm in your dream," Kaiba countered.

"Yes. It's possible. I thought I'd let you go. We had our meeting. We dueled. We said goodbye. You should have moved on. I shouldn't have wanted… this shouldn't have happened."

"Still binding your life by 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' I see," said Kaiba with a smirk.

"What else is strong enough to hold our inclinations in check?" Atem gestured to the space station walls. "This is the proof of why all those 'shoulds' and 'shouldn'ts' are necessary."

"And what is your Netherworld, then? Just one more obligation?"

Atem shook his head. Golden stalks of hair swung gently from side to side. His thoughts travelled backwards through time. This was exactly why he hadn't contacted Kaiba before he had left. He wondered if Kaiba, too, was looking past the stars outside, was seeing the morning when Atem had walked into a tomb to duel Yugi and all possibility for goodbyes had vanished. "I'm where I belong," he said.

"Oh, really? Then why are you here shuffling through other people's dreams?"

"Not anyone's. Yours."

Kaiba flinched. He paused, and then as though reading all of Atem's unspoken doubts, he asked, "Were your memories worth losing your life over?"

"Enough, Kaiba. I didn't lose my life. I rejoined it."

Kaiba snorted. "You left it behind as well."

Atem smiled, a slight lift of the lips that managed to convey sadness instead of joy. It was strange that Kaiba of all people, had been the one to notice something that Atem had spent every moment denying.

Talking about memories was safer.

"As I walked into the Netherworld, my memories flooded back like a wave battering the shoreline. Suddenly, I wasn't trying to figure out who everyone was, I wasn't pretending to rule and hoping no one would notice… I was the pharaoh. I knew it. I remembered it." He shook his head. "It was overwhelming. I was drowning when I'd only known thirst before."

"Did you tell all those people I saw in your throne room that you'd been faking it the whole time?"

"Of course not. I'm their infallible, semi-divine pharaoh. I'm their friend." A slight bitterness laced his words.

Kaiba had never figured out the intricacies of friendship. It made sense that lying was one of the prerequisites. "So, why tell me?"

"I'm not sure." This time Atem's smile touched his eyes. "Because I can. Because you're just as stubborn and wrong-headed as I am. Because you're smart enough to figure out a way to barge into the Netherworld and short-sighted enough not to have asked yourself 'why.'"

Kaiba snorted. The sound was almost friendly.

"What about you?" Atem asked, finally moving from defense to attack. "After all, I'm not the only one wandering through dreams tonight."

"You once told me that even if I beat you, I wouldn't be able to hold on to it, that within a week it would become as meaningless as all my other victories. I'm going to prove you wrong." Even in a dream, Kaiba's voice was harsh. It was hard to tell if he was answering Atem's question or changing the subject.

"You already have. You've changed since that day at Alcatraz. You've grown, Kaiba. Accept it."

"Do you really think that?" Kaiba asked. He knew he would dismiss whatever answer he received once he woke up.

"Yes." Atem looked away from the naked longing in Kaiba's eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Kaiba asked.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. His lip curled. "You think you  _could_  hurt me?"

"I think I did. I never meant to make things worse."

Kaiba reminded himself that this was just a dream. None of it counted. He paused. The words came slowly; Kaiba found a freedom in saying them. "Learning too late that you were gone without a word of goodbye... the months of trial and error to find you, wondering if everyone was right. You have a long way to go to reach worse."

Atem's eyes fell once again. "Even dreams are dangerous, then."

Kaiba's smile was a knife edge in the darkness. "They always are."

Atem paused. "I miss danger," he whispered. He felt free to admit it here.  _"This must be a dream,"_  Atem thought.

"Is your Netherworld so lacking in challenge?" Kaiba asked.

Atem drew in a breath and then released it. There was no one to hear his confession but Kaiba. "The challenge is living in peace."

Kaiba laughed. "So much for paradise."

Atem smiled back. He couldn't bring himself to agree, that was too disloyal, too much in opposition to the gods who had brought him to a safe harbor, a place of rest. But he was glad Kaiba was here to put his own selfish thoughts into words.

Kaiba pressed his lips together. If this was his dream, he should know what to say next. But standing here, watching Atem watch him, was enough.

Almost.

"We said goodbye already. Why are you here?" Kaiba asked.

Atem shook his head. "I don't know. There are no bindings between us, nothing owed. But here we are. Dueling you is like nothing else. Each duel left me aching for… something… for the next time we met. That hasn't changed."

Kaiba's skin shone in the starlight, pale as a statue that had yet to be painted. Atem felt an impulse to reach out, to touch his rival in a way he never had before. That felt dangerous, too. Atem shifted his weight, then took a step towards Kaiba.

"You were right about one thing," Kaiba said, his voice husky and rough. "Winning… it isn't enough." Kaiba took an unconscious, unwary step forward in response.

Whatever tie had connected them broke. The dream shattered, snapping them back to their own worlds.

Atem sat up in bed, gasping, his fine cotton sheets pooling in his lap. He had the advantage of Kaiba in this: he believed in dreams. Atem lay back down, waiting for his breathing to slow, trying to relax into the room's silence. He closed his eyes but they snapped open almost instantly. He stared at the darkness, then groaned and got out of bed and walked out into the courtyard.

Atem gazed up at the stars. The courtyard was quiet, the essence of peace. Even the rustle of Mahaad's robes blended in with the water in the fountain. Atem turned to face his friend. "You always know when I'm awake."

"I always know when you're troubled, my prince."

"Please, my name is Atem."

"As you wish."

Atem looked up again. "The stars are brighter here than in Domino."

"Everything is."

An image of Kaiba bathed in light in came into Atem's mind. "Everything? I wonder." Atem looked at the courtyard, at the flowing water, the fruit filled trees. His lips twisted. "I don't think he's made for peace."

"Who?"

"Seto Kaiba."

Mahaad folded his arms across his chest and nodded. "Seto. It's a dangerous name to give a child. The God of Storms shapes his own."

Atem switched his gaze back to Mahaad. "I had a dream… except it was more than a dream. It was real."

"Such dreams are gifts from the gods."

Atem shook his head, trying to clear it. "Kaiba was there. I wanted to see him. I was on his space station instead of here, where I belong. I was happy. I don't understand."

Mahaad tilted his head. "What?"

"Why am I dreaming of Kaiba when this world is my destiny? How can my dream – the dream we shared – be a gift from the gods, when it left me tossing and turning, when it has me fleeing my bed for a glimpse of the stars?" Atem looked at Mahaad, half hoping that his friend and counselor would have an easy answer that made his difficult feelings fall into place.

"You are asking a lesser being questions that only a god can answer."

Atem nodded. He reached up to squeeze Mahaad's shoulder, then headed back to his bedroom and into a dreamless sleep.

It was morning. Daylight was filtering through the bedroom window. Kaiba sat up and shook his head. He'd dreamed of his mother, once. She'd told him she loved him. She'd told him to look after his little brother. She'd told him that he was going to be okay. He'd felt better when he'd woken up. Then again, he'd been eight. She'd said what he wanted to hear. It hadn't been real.

It had been a dream.

Just like last night.

But last night had been the wrong dream.

Kaiba should have dreamed about beating Atem. He should have re-lived his victory, just as he'd re-lived that vision of being torn apart by monsters night after night in the months that had followed that first penalty game.

Instead, Kaiba had dreamed that Atem had been reaching out to him, he'd dreamed that Atem had missed him, had mourned his absence.

It was worse than a nightmare. Those he could live with. Nightmares were meant to be lived through until you wished that you believed in prayers so that you could beg for them to end.

Nightmares were meant to dismissed when morning broke as you buried yourself in work until night came and sleep could no longer be avoided.

This had been more terrifying. Atem had come for him… not for Yugi or for Jounouchi, or even because the fate of the world was at stake and Atem needed his help or a ride home. Kaiba had been blindsided by his own desire. His dream had forced Kaiba to realize how badly he'd wanted Atem to want him.

Kaiba heaved himself out of bed.

"It was just a dream," Kaiba reminded himself.

And the cure for unruly dreams was to avoid sleeping. He had enough work to keep him busy, anyway.

If he didn't sleep, he couldn't dream.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and for reminding me that transitions between scenes are a good thing!** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  There's a real freedom for me in how much about Yu-Gi-Oh! is left to the reader's imagination. Not only are the big questions, like what happened to Kaiba at the end of the movie left open, but so are smaller more intimate ones – like how would Yugi adjust to starting college? Or to life on his own? Would he – or Ryou Bakura for that matter – still hear echoes, still listen for a second set of footprints? Why does Isono keep working for Kaiba? Is the pay really that good? Or is the bonus sometimes hearing the thoughts his boss will only say in the privacy of his office while Isono pretends to fade into the background? The thing I love about fanfiction is that you don't just get to explore all of these questions, big and small – you get to write a story and show what the answers could look like.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	4. Dream Tossed Heroes

**THE DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In the movie, Kaiba builds a space station to guard the Puzzle and to assemble it in zero gravity. At the end of the movie, it's where he launches his Dimensional Cannon, which takes him to the netherworld and Atem.

In  _The Dark Side of Dimensions_ , Kaiba tries to reassemble the Puzzle, but two pieces are missing. He holds a tournament to force Diva and Yugi to give him the missing pieces so he can complete the Puzzle and call Atem. He repeatedly refers to Yugi as the pharaoh's "vessel."

**HORAKHTY NOTE:**  Horakhty is the god who appears at the end of Atem's duel with Zorc in the manga and anime.

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: DREAM TOSSED HEROES**

ANGER: From the opening lines of  _The Aeneid_ : "I sing of arms and a man who from the boundaries of Troy, exiled by fate… tossed much on land and sea…" you know that Aeneas is in for one wild ride before he fulfills his – and not so coincidentally, the Roman Empire's – destiny. In the sea-tossed part of Virgil's epic propaganda poem, Aeneas (literally) washes up on the shores of Carthage. Its queen, Dido, with a little nudge from Venus, falls hard and fast. (Proving, once again, that it pays to be the son of the goddess of love.) Aeneas is fine with delaying destiny for dalliance. But, like all league-sanctioned heroes, he eventually puts aside love for duty. When his journey requires a side trip to the Underworld, he's stunned to encounter Dido, who died in despair after his desertion.

_MORAL #1: Sometimes following your own destiny affects the fates of others as well.  
MORAL #2: No matter how logical your reasons for visiting the after-life, don't be surprised if you run into some unfinished business along the way.  
_

* * *

Over the week, it had become a pattern. Every night was another night without Atem. Every day was another day of burying himself in work until Kaiba was too tired to dream. Kaiba should have been pleased with the way his self-control extended even to his sleeping hours. He had vowed not to dream of Atem. It was another promise kept. Kaiba hurried from task to task as if he could run away from the knowledge it was a promise he wished he'd broken.

Kaiba turned back to his monitor. He had plenty to keep him busy. There was the space elevator for one thing. Countless scientific organizations wanted to use it. He had to set up a system to vet them. He had to decide if he wanted anyone but him to set foot up there at all.

"Nisama?"

"Hhhmnnn," Kaiba murmured. He'd forgotten that Mokuba was in his office with him. Again.

"It was fun, right? Digging up the Puzzle, setting up the tournament, breaking into Yugi's house, proving that you were right and everyone else was wrong…"

Kaiba walked over to the couch. He stood next to his brother. Mokuba leaned his head against his brother's leg as if Kaiba was a second and better armrest. Kaiba smoothed his brother's hair. It had gotten so short. Kaiba missed the wild, unruly mane. "I couldn't have done any of it without my vice president."

"Then talk to me! What's wrong, Nisama?"

"Nothing." Kaiba walked over to the floor to ceiling windows that lined his office wall and looked out. "I don't know," he admitted. "I came back and everything's the same. I didn't expect that." Atem was still dead. Kaiba was still the one chasing him, right into his dreams.

Mokuba followed him. He put his hand on his brother's arm. "What was supposed to change?""

Kaiba looked down briefly, then returned his gaze to the window. "I don't know," he said for the second time. He'd expected to feel different, he guessed. Victorious. Resolved. At peace with losing Atem.

Losing.

There was that word again. Kaiba had rejected the idea that losing meant death. But his adoptive father's dictum was horribly true if you flipped the equation: losing might not equal death, but death was undeniably a loss.

Kaiba walked back to his desk and sat down. Mokuba shrugged and returned to the couch. Kaiba frowned as he stared at his monitor, hoping Mokuba would think – or pretend to think – that he was scowling at the report on the screen. Kaiba refused to go backwards. He still wanted to see Atem. He knew that. He'd known it from the moment of turning his back on Atem after their duel. With every step, he'd fought the urge to turn around and demand a rematch.

Atem had told him at Alcatraz, that even if he won, it wouldn't matter, that Kaiba was trapped, that no victory would ever be enough.

He wasn't going to prove Atem right.

Kaiba wanted his last memory of Atem to be of the smile that had lit up his face when Kaiba had stormed into his hall.

He wasn't going to tarnish that. Even in a dream, if that was all he had left, he wasn't going to watch that smile turn into a frown of disappointment. Not for another duel… not even to see Atem again.

It was time to wake up. Atem was gone. Kaiba's life was here in this room.

Kaiba looked across to Mokuba. "Don't worry. I've got everything under control." He pushed back from his desk and stood up. "Come on, it's time to head home. When we get inside our gates, I'll even let you take the wheel. You can show me how much you've learned."

"Which car did you bring?" Mokuba asked.

"The silver Ferrari. Of course. It's the one you've been practicing on."

Mokuba narrowed his eyes as he assessed his brother. He suspected he was being bought off… or at least distracted. But he loved it when Seto let him drive, even if it was just from the gates to the garage.

Mokuba hid a grin. This was clearly the moment to see how far he could push things. "If there's no traffic after we clear downtown, I get to take the wheel before we get to the gates. And once we're on our grounds, I can go as fast as I want."

Kaiba considered Mokuba's counter-offer and then gave a quick jerk of his head. "Deal."

Mokuba bounded off of the couch. "Then, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"

Each night, Atem got ready for bed with an eagerness that embarrassed him. Kaiba never appeared, as stubborn and frustrating in slumber as in life. But Atem refused to give up. He roamed through his palace in his dreams, looking for something he'd misplaced. He ran from room to room, scattering precious objects in his wake, overturning pillows and furniture, victims of his frantic search. He finally left the confines of his palace, travelling further and further afield, as though he could escape his own kingdom. And then he was back among the stars.

But this time, he was alone.

Atem awoke with a gasp. Light slowly filtered into the room. He rubbed his eyes. Sometimes it seemed to Atem that seeing Kaiba, even in a dream, was the truest thing in his paradise-infused life.

Atem walked out to the courtyard to greet the dawn. Horakhty was there, floating in the air above him, shining as brightly as the newly minted sun. Atem bowed. She smiled down in response.

"I dreamed of Kaiba a few days ago," Atem said. "I don't understand. I helped him when he came here. Why is he unable to rest, now? Why is he still reaching out for me?"

"Was he the only one unable to rest? The only one searching for someone?"

Atem looked away, suddenly wanting to hide from her gaze. "No."

Horakhty smiled. "Was it a good dream?"

Atem gazed up at her. His face shone with her reflected light. "Yes."

"Then why are you seeking me out with the dawn?"

Atem stared at the sky as though he was still on the space station, as though Kaiba still stood beside him. "Night after night I keep looking for him in my dreams. He hasn't returned." Atem looked down again. "I won't see him again."

"Do you have so little faith in dreams?"

"I thought I would forget, that Domino would fade into memory. Instead even my dreams are real, as bright and vivid as my life here." Atem looked at Horakhty. "You're the only one I can ask. Diva talked about a collective consciousness, how our world is created out of all of our memories. Am I still a part of Domino? Is that the problem? Is that why I can't forget? Because I haven't been forgotten?"

"Is that what you want? To have your name erased from memory once more?"

"I did what I believed to be right. I fulfilled my mission; I followed my destiny, regardless of cost. I thought the gods wanted obedience."

"Usually. But that wasn't my question."

"I don't understand."

"What am I the god of?"

"You are the god of the pharaohs, of peace and the sun that warms us all," Atem recited. "And of a mother's love." He stopped and stared at Horakhty, suddenly aware of how little, even here, he remembered of his mother.

Horakhty nodded. "Exactly. I am  _your_  god, little pharaoh. And you still haven't answered: what do  _you_  want?"

"For myself?" Atem's lips twitched upwards. "You sound like Kaiba. He keeps asking that."

"Very possibly." She folded her arms across her chest; her hands disappeared into her bell sleeves.

"I never thought about it. I only know what I  _don't_  want. I never wanted Kaiba to mourn me."

"Didn't you?" Horakhty asked gently.

Atem pressed his lips together. He looked away for a moment. "It was a great joy to be part of their lives. And yet, such pain, for Kaiba, for myself, has come of it."

"We owe you much. Do you wish to forget them, to vanish from their thoughts, to have a foothold in one world only?"

He thought of Yugi, determined to move on, to let Atem fade into memory. He thought of Kaiba, who might never stop bleeding inside. Would Kaiba be better off if he forgot that Atem had ever existed? He shuddered at the thought of Kaiba's response, as loud as if he was standing beside him yelling in his ear. But it might be the merciful choice. He'd freed his partner. Maybe it was time to do the same for his rival.

"I didn't ask what would be best for your friends. This is your gift," Horakhty reminded him.

Atem shook his head. "No," he admitted. "I don't want to lose them."

"How can you lose what you refuse to let go of? The ties that bind you together are of your own weaving. Does that comfort you?"

Atem's smile was as sad as his tears. "Comfort has never been my object." He shook his head as he thought of Kaiba. "I don't want him to hurt."

"Some things are above even a god's power."

"Mahaad said something…"

"Mahaad says many somethings. Which one is troubling you?"

"He said I was brought here because I believed this was my destiny. What if I hadn't? Believed, I mean."

"Our need to believe is eternal."

"But  _what_  we believe… doesn't that sometimes change?"

Horakhty smiled her sphinx smile. She seemed to glow more brightly before vanishing. "So sometimes, does what we want."

It had been easy when Atem could tell himself that all he wanted was to make sure Kaiba was okay, that his eagerness was on Kaiba's behalf. But Horakhty's question: "What do you want for yourself?" had stripped that illusion away. He wanted to see Kaiba again. He couldn't pretend it was Kaiba's happiness he was thinking about.

Kaiba had taken a step towards him. What would have happened if he had completed the journey?

Domino University's one claim to fame was its engineering and computer science department. Half of Yugi's classmates were hoping to work for Kaiba Corporation one day. Yugi realized he shouldn't have been surprised to see Seto Kaiba on campus, but he was.

"Hey!" Yugi called out.

Kaiba spun around at the sound of his voice. Yugi wondered which one of them Kaiba was listening for.

Kaiba had ditched his Battle City outfit. The one he'd replaced it with made just as loud a statement. Yugi had to remind himself that dragons didn't exist because Kaiba's coat looked like it had been made from silver scales, from the peaked shoulders to the flaring hem. As usual, his coat seemed powered by its own internal wind machine. When Kaiba moved, the colors shifted, shading from silver to gray to blue and back again, as if a dragon's shadow was being reflected across its surface. Yugi resisted the urge to look up and check. He wondered if the new coat was a sign Kaiba was moving on... or if his obsession with dragons had simply grown worse. "It's good to see you," Yugi added.

Kaiba grunted.

Yugi tried again. "I've never seen you on campus before."

"The rector wants a donation. He seems to think an honorary doctorate is an acceptable quid pro quo."

Yugi took another look at Kaiba's coat and blinked. The rector was very formal… and always very conventionally dressed.

Kaiba shook his head. "Why would he think I give a damn about university degrees?" He looked at Yugi. Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. "Why are you bothering with this place? You could parlay your name into any development deal you wanted."

"I don't want to put my name on someone else's game. I want to design my own. I'm here to learn," Yugi said.

Kaiba stared, possibly shocked that someone couldn't code as easily as breathe. "Anyone at Kaiba Corporation could show you how to do that. Hell, Mokuba could teach the course."

"I'll keep that in mind if I get stuck."

Kaiba pulled out his phone and tapped for moment. Yugi's beeped in response. "I sent you Mokuba's number. Call when you have something finished."

Yugi didn't bother asking how Kaiba had gotten his number. He was Kaiba. Of course he had it. "Thanks."

Kaiba started walking with his usual purposeful stride. Yugi followed. He wondered where they were going. Yugi drew in a breath. "I'm sorry you never got to duel him again. I think he regretted that too."

Kaiba grunted. He could have told Yugi. But he hugged his knowledge to himself as if he was hiding Atem as well. Kaiba had once tried to keep Atem as a prisoner in the Puzzle. He wondered if this was any different.

They reached Kaiba's car. It was parked in the rector's spot. Kaiba grinned, briefly. "He wants a big donation."

Yugi laughed. As expected, Kaiba's car was sleek and powerful. Yugi tried to place the color. It was a mix of crimson and purple, soft but with a hint of blood. Something in it teased at his memory.

"Do you want a lift?" Kaiba asked.

"Thanks," Yugi said. As he got in, he realized why the color was so achingly familiar. It matched Atem's eyes. "I miss him, too," he said. It was something Yugi rarely admitted. But just as at the tournament where they'd faced Diva, something in Kaiba's raw grief soothed his own.

Kaiba pressed his lips together and stepped on the gas. They drove in silence. As he pulled up to the Kame game shop, Kaiba turned to Yugi and said, "I saw him."

Yugi's mouth dropped open. "Atem came here? How? He took the Puzzle with him…"

"Of course he didn't return." Kaiba scoffed. Atem would never have returned just to see Kaiba and Yugi should have known it. "I went there."

"You went… you went to the Netherworld? How?" Yugi reached out to touch Kaiba, needing to reassure himself that Kaiba wasn't a hologram that could somehow drive a car.

"I built a dimensional cannon." Kaiba smirked. "If I described the schematics would that sentence make any more sense to you?"

Yugi ducked his head. "How is he?"

"He said that he was fine."

"Good. That's what he told me too, you know... at the tournament."

Kaiba scanned Yugi's face. Yugi was smiling. His eyes were clear. Kaiba grunted. He'd given up his secret knowledge just to gain a more important clue: Kaiba knew something Yugi didn't. He knew what the words, _"I'm fine,"_ really meant.

Yugi put his hand on Kaiba's arm again. "I'm glad you got the chance to say goodbye."

"I went for a duel."

Yugi laughed. "Sometimes it's the same thing." Yugi opened the car door. "I'm glad, Kaiba. Truly."

As Yugi exited, Kaiba called out, "Yugi! I shouldn't have called you his vessel. You're more than that."

Yugi smiled. "Thank you," he said as he closed the door and headed for the game shop. It was only when he'd started work that he realized Kaiba hadn't said who'd won.

Kaiba drove back to the Kaiba Corporation garage. He hesitated for a moment. The usual pile of work was waiting in his office. He turned on his heel and headed to his computer lab instead. It was the first time he'd been back since he'd beaten the avatar he'd created to prepare for his duel with Atem. As soon as the door whooshed to a close behind him, the holographic Atem appeared. Kaiba stared at the dueling avatar in silence, then left the room. He went back to his office and locked the door behind him, glad that Mokuba was working on a project after school.

In the heat of the duel, it had been easy to dismiss the differences between the Other Yugi he'd known in Domino and the pharaoh he'd seen in the Netherworld. But now, weeks later, the gap between memory and reality gnawed at him. He could itemize the differences in his mind. The golden stalks of hair had been 5.08 centimeters longer and had flared more wildly. The skin was darker, HEX #C19B54 instead of Yugi's #E1BE9E.

Atem had been his rival. Beyond "brother," there was no higher title. What else about Atem had gone unseen?

None of it mattered. Atem was gone and the dueling avatar Kaiba had created was junk. It wasn't the real thing. Who cared if it was accurate? If he had any sense, he'd just delete it. Maybe then he could go to sleep without craving and fearing his dreams, without analyzing all the things he'd missed, all the ways his memories hadn't prepared him for meeting the man he'd defied time and space to find.

Kaiba looked out the window, surprised to note that the sun had set. It was time to pick up Mokuba. He could have taken his car, the one that matched Atem's eyes, but he called for Isono to drive him instead.

He got into the back seat of his limousine and stretched out his legs.

"Do you want to get some rest before we pick up your brother, sir? Should I raise the privacy partition?" Isono asked.

Kaiba shrugged. "Leave it down." They drove in silence for a few minutes. Then, Kaiba said, "A few days ago… I had a dream."

Isono's hands tightened on the wheel. Dreams were rarely good news. "Yes, sir," Isono replied. It was the safest answer.

"It wasn't a nightmare."

Isono nodded.

"I was in my space station. I was with… it doesn't matter who else was there. We were talking."

"About?"

"Stuff. That doesn't matter either. It was like talking to myself, except  _he_  was there." Kaiba pressed his lips together. Even in the darkened car, even to Isono, who'd proven that, unlike Atem, he wouldn't cut and run out on him, Kaiba was unwilling to mention the strange sense of exhilaration he'd felt, as if his own internal firewall had been turned off for the night, leaving them free to say and do anything...

"Was it a good dream, sir?"

Kaiba's lips twitched upwards before settling into a frown. "That doesn't matter either. Dreams aren't real. They're just a randomly running subsystem of the waking default cognitive network."

Isono nodded. "As you say, sir."

"I suppose you think you know what I was dreaming about and why… I bet you think you've got it all figured out. But you're wrong," Kaiba snarled.

"I would never presume to tell you what meaning to attach to your dreams, sir. That is for you to decide."

Kaiba smirked. "Right. And I say it doesn't mean a damn thing." Kaiba leaned his head against the window. Isono drove on in silence.

Kaiba closed his eyes and compared Atem to his dueling avatar again. His dream had been accurate in all the ways his memory hadn't.

Atem had been smiling up at him in his dream, smiling as though they were the only two people in the universe, which Kaiba supposed they were. Somehow, Atem's smile in his dream melded with all the times he'd seen Atem smile at him before.

Kaiba had spent days trying to push away the memory of his dream… of Atem walking towards him, of Atem reaching out for him. Kaiba smiled. Now he was glad he hadn't succeeded. For the first time, he was eager for the day to end, eager to sleep, again.

Eager to dream.

Kaiba and Isono picked up Mokuba. Mokuba pouted when he saw the limousine; he was hoping for another chance to drive. But he greeted Isono politely and got in the backseat with his brother. They drove home.

"Drop us off at the garage," Kaiba ordered Isono when they entered the grounds. Mokuba beamed up at him.

They got in the silver Ferrari and headed out. If the driving lesson and dinner out afterwards were bribes, they were both too smart to mention it. Kaiba realized that he couldn't keep pacifying Mokuba with cars. But figuring out a long term strategy could wait until tomorrow. It was finally time to sleep.

Kaiba got into bed and closed his eyes. He opened them, looked around and smiled. He was back at his space station. He walked to the windows and stared at the stars. Kaiba breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the slap of sandals on the metal floor behind him.

"I've been waiting for you," Atem said.

Kaiba turned from the window. "That's what you said when I showed up in your Netherworld."

Atem grinned. "It was true then as well." He paused, then added, "I've been hoping you would come here."

"Why?" Kaiba asked. Even in a dream, it seemed too much to hope that Atem had been thinking of him, that Atem had gone to sleep wanting to see him.

"I need to know that you're alright," Atem answered.

"Of course I am," Kaiba sneered.

"I'm serious. When you came to my palace, I hoped that I helped you find some peace. When you left, I thought we'd never see each other again. Kaiba, how are you?"

Kaiba ground his teeth together. What was the point of finally giving in to sleep, if Atem was here only because of some misguided sense of obligation? Kaiba paced the floor, before turning back to Atem. "We're on a space station. You're covered in gold." Kaiba gazed at Atem, drinking in every detail of his gold and blue and white splendor, at the purple cape flowing down his back like a shadow. Kaiba swallowed, the sound audible in the quiet room. "Look at me. I was in bed a minute ago. Do you think these are my pajamas?" Kaiba glanced down and shook his head. He was in his Battle City gear, but it was an imperfect replica. The coat was as silver as a dragon's scale, the fine metal mesh achieving the suppleness of cloth. "I'm in fucking armor and leather boots. What more do you need to get it? This is a dream. The normal rules don't apply. We can say anything. And here you are repeating the same old shit."

"Kaiba, I  _am_  being honest." It wasn't the whole truth, Atem knew that. But he clung to the few certainties he had. He cared. He was at fault. He had to help fix this. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I did and we both know it. I saw it when you walked into my hall. I hoped it was just bravado driving you, but it wasn't. Of course I'm worried."

Kaiba closed his eyes. Maybe this was a nightmare after all. Maybe the thought that Atem had wanted to see him just because Kaiba was important… just because Atem missed him… was nothing more than his own pathetic fantasy. Kaiba opened his eyes; they gleamed like lasers in search of a target. "Are you daring to pity me, again? Is that what you see when you look at me – an obligation to be crossed off your list, a child to be pacified and forgotten? Are you denying that I'm your equal after I beat you in a duel? Get this through your head, pharaoh – I don't want your help!"

Kaiba turned on his heel and stalked away, only to remember that this was a dream. There was nowhere to go.

Atem shook his head in frustration. His earnings hit the side of each cheek. This was turning into a rehash of all their worst fights, the ones where they talked past each other, where they stretched further apart with each word. This wasn't what Atem wanted, this wasn't what he'd hoped for through each night of fruitless searching. "Kaiba!" he yelled, his voice tight with frustration. "Why are you here?"

"Why are you?" Kaiba parried. "Was your first answer your only one? Because I owe nothing to someone who came here out of guilt and pity." His smile flashed out, hard-edged as ever. "And that would be a waste of a dream."

Atem drew in a breath and closed his eyes. Kaiba's words,  _"This is a dream. We can say anything,"_  echoed in his ears, the warning bell for a second and final chance. "Whether you want to hear it or not, I do care. I do want to help. That's who I am and you know it and I will never apologize for it, even when that hurts your precious pride, but that's not the only reason..." Atem started.

"Is that what you think this is about? My pride?" Kaiba snarled. "When I saw you, when you said you were glad to see me, for one crazy moment, I thought you meant it. I should have known better than to believe in dreams, I should have..."

Atem held up his hand. "Kaiba, for once in your life, listen!" Kaiba fell silent. Atem continued, "I'm here because this is my dream, too. Because I've done everything asked of me in both life and death. And now a dream has brought me to a place that is beyond either. Maybe I should hope that you'd forget me. Maybe I shouldn't want anything beyond the chance to help. But I'm selfish. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to hear your voice, even when it's shouting belligerent nonsense." Atem crossed his arms and faced down his rival. "Kaiba, why are you here?"

Kaiba glared at him.  _"This is a dream. You can say anything,"_  he reminded himself. "I didn't sleep for days, just to put off dreaming. I told myself over and over that I didn't want to wind up here ever again. I kept repeating that to myself, as if I could sledgehammer it into my brain and drive all thoughts of you out of it, until I finally knew that this was one battle I didn't want to win, that this place, here with you, was exactly where I wanted to be."

"So, what happens next?" Atem asked softly.

Kaiba shook his head. "With anyone else, I can see 12 moves ahead. With you, each time I climb over one obstacle, the entire chessboard changes."

"Not totally. One constant remains. We're both here," Atem reminded him. "We both want to be here. We both know that, even when we don't know anything else."

Atem took a step towards him. Kaiba stared at him, frozen. The last time this had happened, their dream had shattered as swiftly and surely as a wine glass falling onto a stone floor.

Atem paused, then took another step forward and another. He stopped and held out his hands, and smiled, waiting for Kaiba to join him.

Kaiba drew in a breath. This is a dream, Kaiba reminded himself. He took one stumbling step forward, then another. Kaiba reached out for balance and grabbed onto Atem's shoulders. Atem was solid. Kaiba bowed his head in thankfulness or some other emotion he'd spent his life avoiding. He held onto Atem, then pulled him closer, something Kaiba had never done – or imagined doing – in life. Atem stood there, looking up at him, unable to turn away as if Kaiba was more compelling than the galaxy outside.

Kaiba's fingers tightened on Atem's shoulders. His legs trembled until he was shaking too hard to stand. Kaiba's breath came in great, gulping gasps, burst out of his throat in something perilously close to sobs, although his eyes remained dry.

Atem stood still, almost afraid to breathe for fear of shattering this moment, this dream. He looked up, but if he was trying to see Kaiba's eyes, he was foiled by the heavy fall of Kaiba's bangs. Atem grabbed Kaiba's torso at the sides, anchoring him, holding them both up together as if they'd fall separately.

Atem had hugged Yugi, he'd hugged Jounouchi, he'd hugged Anzu. He'd shattered Kaiba's heart, he'd almost killed him on Pegasus' tower... but except for the occasional brush of fingers as they exchanged cards, the bump of a shoulder or thigh as they sat next to each other in a helicopter or a plane, this was the first time they'd touched. Almost unnoticed, one hand slipped around to stroke Kaiba's back. Atem curled his head against Kaiba's chest, never so keenly aware of the difference in their heights. If this was a dream, he should be taller, Atem thought. But he could hear Kaiba's heart beating and something felt right about snuggling so tightly against his rival's body, like a key and lock clicking into place.

Kaiba's breathing evened in response to Atem's rhythmic caresses, even as his confusion grew. Atem had always been able to do this to him – make him acutely aware of how little he knew or understood… about life and about himself most of all. Was this what he'd wanted without knowing it, ever since he'd crashed his way into the Netherworld? Had he been reaching out to Atem to duel... or had he simply been reaching out?

"You smiled at me when I barged into your palace," Kaiba said.

"I'm smiling now."

"That was real."

"This is real too."

Kaiba stared at Atem, his eyes wide and a little blank. "No. This is a dream," Kaiba stated.

And because it was a dream, Kaiba let himself do something he never would have allowed, awake. He let himself feel desire.

Kaiba closed his eyes. He could almost hear a nonexistent wind ruffling through Atem's hair, could almost smell the hint of cinnamon, could feel the silken softness of skin over muscle. He opened his eyes to meet Atem's gaze.

"This is a dream," Kaiba repeated.

And because it was a dream, Kaiba relaxed into Atem's embrace. He lowered his head. It was a chaste kiss, closed-mouthed, the mere shifting of lips over lips. It was too delicate a kiss to remain unchanged.

Kaiba lifted his head. "This is what dreams are."

"They truly are a gift from the gods," Atem said in wonder.

"Or a collection of random neurosynaptic signals that happened, against all odds, to line up in just the right way," Kaiba replied.

Atem chuckled against Kaiba's chest. "Or that."

"For once I don't care which it is," Kaiba said.

Atem reached up to caress Kaiba's cheek, to trace the curve of his lower lip, before drawing Kaiba's head back down to his and claiming Kaiba's lips again. Atem was surprised at their softness, at their pliancy, where he'd expected only hardness from Kaiba. Atem stood on tiptoe to taste Kaiba's neck, to run his tongue along the underside of Kaiba's jaw. Kaiba shivered in response.

If this was a gift, Atem thought, as his smile turned impish, he wanted to unwrap it. Atem reached up, grabbed Kaiba by the collars of his shirt and pulled them in opposite directions. Buttons went flying, baring Kaiba to the waist. Kaiba looked down, momentarily distracted. When had his turtleneck changed to a silk button-down shirt, let alone one with suspiciously shoddy workmanship?

Atem smirked up at him. "Who knew that dreams could be so convenient?" he asked before returning his attention back to Kaiba's body, tracing its contours with his tongue.

Kaiba's answering grin was equally smug. "Two can play this game." A flick of his wrist and Atem's Puzzle, still attached to its chain, was at Atem's back, no longer an obstacle. Kaiba pushed Atem's cape to the floor, where it lapped at their feet like a purple wave. Another gentle push and the top half of Atem's garment slid to his waist, exposing his torso, except for the heavy band of gold resting on his collarbones. "Exquisite," Kaiba murmured as he claimed Atem's lips once more, deepening his kiss, as if this was something he'd done for years, instead of the first time.

He pulled Atem even more tightly into his arms, until they were pressed together, skin to skin, from head to waistband. Atem's hands reached up to caress the flat planes of Kaiba's torso, to touch his nipples, to tease them into small spikes. Kaiba gasped, sensations flooding into a touch-starved life.

Kaiba's only consolation was that Atem was just as stunned, just as shaken. He looked at Kaiba as a drowning man might look at a thrown rope, unsure if he was being led to safety or into deeper water, unsure if he wanted escape or surrender.

"I've been given everything… and I want more," Atem said, still staring at Kaiba with those drowned eyes.

Kaiba smiled, a gesture disconcerting in its gentleness.

The last time, their dream had snapped with the suddenness of a rubber band breaking. This time, it faded. Their only warning was a softly glowing light, before they found themselves in their separate beds, each achingly alone.

Kaiba sat up with a groan. His sheets fell around his waist. His bare chest glistened with sweat. He shook his head as the familiar walls of his bedroom replaced the space station windows and the stars.

It had been his first kiss. It had been a dream. It had felt so real.

Kaiba ran his tongue over his lips. He could still taste Atem. He reached out blindly. He was alone in bed, but his body still tingled everywhere Atem had touched him, still ached everywhere Atem hadn't.

Kaiba's breathing quickened. He fought to control it. He hadn't had one of  _those_  dreams in ages. He froze as he finally identified the shadowy figure that had dominated them throughout the years. He raced to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet, not sure what he was trying to expel – his own weakness in enjoying every one of those caresses or the realization that Atem was truly gone, that he was alone.

Kaiba brushed his teeth, then stepped into his shower and turned on the water. He soaped himself, as if he could clean away the memory, even as his hands unconsciously mimicked Atem's movements, running over his chest, caressing his nipples in imitation. The entire encounter had been tinged with danger, but he'd felt safe. He'd felt free. He leaned against the wall as his hands drifted lower, as his imagination took over where memory left off...

Kaiba got out of the shower on shaking legs, toweled himself off and got back into bed, ready for once to go back to sleep. He felt vaguely comforted as he drifted off… almost as if he wasn't alone.

Atem sat up with a gasp. He looked around the room and groaned. Stepping towards Kaiba had felt so natural, Atem hadn't questioned why he was moving until Kaiba had ended up in his arms.

If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Kaiba's body pressed against his, could still feel Kaiba's mouth crashing down on his for the first time.

Atem had expected Kaiba to taste spicy or salty, but his kiss had been sweet, gentle almost, until it had heated with the passion of a duel.

But that sweetness had come with a price.

Atem raised his fingers to his lips as if he could still feel Kaiba's pressing down on them He swirled his tongue inside his mouth, trying to convince himself he was tasting Kaiba, again. He reached out, and as his arms closed around empty air, he ached with the loss of Kaiba's body.

Nothing had ever felt less dreamlike in his life, no sensation more immediate than the ones he'd just shared with Kaiba. And now he was back to an eternity in paradise without the man who'd made him, briefly, even in a dream, remember what it was to live.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  There's a real freedom for me in how much about Yu-Gi-Oh! is left to the reader's imagination. Not only are the big questions, like what happened to Kaiba at the end of the movie left open, but so are smaller more intimate ones – like how would Yugi adjust to starting college? Or to life on his own? Would he – or Ryou Bakura for that matter – still hear echoes, still listen for a second set of footprints? Why does Isono keep working for Kaiba? Is the pay really that good? Or is the bonus sometimes hearing the thoughts his boss will only say in the privacy of his office or limousine while Isono pretends to fade into the background? The thing I love about fanfiction is that you don't just get to explore all of these questions, big and little – you get to write a story and show what the answers could look like.

**AENEID NOTE:** I read  _The Aeneid_  in high school and when I was thinking about stories involving visiting the Underworld, it popped into my head. Which means that my English teacher was correct in saying that the things you learn in high school may come in handy after you graduate… although I'm not sure fanfiction usefulness was what she had in mind.

**HORAKHTY NOTE:**  I once read this list of the things Horakhty is in charge of. I dutifully wrote it down for future reference and just as promptly forgot to bookmark the site. So, I'm not sure how accurate the list is and it isn't mentioned in canon at all, but I decided I liked it.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._


	5. Field of Dreams

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In  _The Dark Side of Dimensions_ , Kaiba tries to reassemble the Puzzle, but two pieces are missing. He holds a tournament to force Diva and Yugi to give him the missing pieces so he can complete the Puzzle and call Atem. He repeatedly refers to Yugi as the pharaoh's "vessel."

**DUEL LINKS NOTE:**  Kaiba was working on some kind of game where duelists can be connected in some unspecified, possibly telepathic way in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and in the manga chapters, "Transcend Game" that preceded the movie. I decided to borrow the name "Duel Links" from the actual game for the story, because it seems to fit his project and because using the name of the actual game makes me happy.

**HORAKHTY NOTE:**  Horakhty is the god who appears at the end of Atem's duel with Zorc in the manga and anime.

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: FIELD OF DREAMS**

BARGAINING: Ray Kinsella builds a baseball diamond in a cornfield, plowing under prime Iowa farmland in the process. Skipping straight past logic or introspection, Ray decides to double down on determination instead... and the tenacity of his unexplored need creates a haven between dimensions, a field of dreams. If we change the scenery and the characters – and the game – one question remains. What unacknowledged longings accompanied Seto Kaiba to work as he tried to recreate his rival?

_MORAL: To borrow Field of Dreams' most iconic line… "If you build it, he will come."_

* * *

Atem fled his bedroom at the first sign of dawn. He wandered down to the river, needing to hear its unending voice. Atem had no right to expect Horakhty to be there. But as so often seemed to be happening lately, his selfishness was rewarded.

"Was it a good dream?" Horakhty asked.

Atem blushed as he re-lived Kaiba's lips crashing down on his. He looked down at his linked hands, remembering them wandering over Kaiba's body, claiming it as his domain. "Yes. It was," Atem mumbled, his eyes still lowered.

When Atem finally looked up, Horakhty was smiling. His color deepened still further. He dropped his gaze back to the ground. "Kaiba has probably already dismissed it. I can't. I know better."

"Yes." Horakhty paused, then asked, gently, "So, why are you seeking me out again with the dawn?"

Atem paced a few steps, turned, paused, then burst out, "This was all so much easier before Kaiba crashed into my world."

"Was it?"

"Yes! I accepted my fate. Then Kaiba came here and… and..." Atem paused again. "And he made me miss him. He made me want things I'd never thought of wanting before." Atem shook his head. "Seeing Kaiba, even in a dream was a gift beyond measure. It's ungrateful to want more."

"But you do."

Atem looked down again. "Yes." He drew in a breath and faced her. "Why do you keep asking me what I want?"

"Because you have been a good and faithful servant. I am your god. I would reward you, but I think the gift I can best bestow is the time to learn what it is you wish for."

"Isn't it a little late for wishes, now that I'm here? Isn't resignation and acceptance all that is left?"

"If you say so, that will undoubtedly be true."

"And if I don't?"

"Then it is time to begin."

"I keep thinking about that dream. Things happened that I didn't plan or expect or even know I wanted. He was there. I was there..." Atem said, not quite able to frame his thoughts into a question.

"There are places where the walls between dimensions thin. Dreams are one such place."

" _One?_  Are there others?" Atem asked eagerly.

"Do you want there to be?"

Atem looked down; even his hair seemed to droop. He shivered and wrapped his cloak around himself. "Once I would have said 'no,' without doubt or hesitation." He glared at something unseen in the distance. "Kaiba needed all his technology to find a way here."

Horakhty shrugged. "There are many forces in the worlds beyond our borders. Maybe his technology is one of them. If he believed."

Atem chuckled. "He does. Fervently. In himself." Atem paused, then added, "And in the systems he creates." Atem looked up at Horakhty. His eyes glowed in the morning light. "But his way doesn't have to be mine."

Horakhty smiled the fond smile of a mother watching her child tie his shoes for the first time. "Has it ever been?"

Atem chuckled again.

Horakhty continued, "There are places and times when the barriers between worlds temporarily vanish, where human need creates spaces – pockets between dimensions – belonging to both. Your history… every history… is littered with such tales."

Atem stared at her, squinting a little at her brightness. "Could Kaiba have created such a place?"

"Not alone."

Atem smiled. He cupped the Puzzle that still hung around his neck in one hand. "Now, it's my turn to find a way to him."

Kaiba didn't know what to think about his dream. He could tell himself over and over that none of it was real, as if the repeated words were a spell to ward off hope. But each denial reminded him that he wanted so much more. He'd spent years pushing aside the past aside every time it tried to follow him home... only to now crave a different kind of haunting.

Kaiba leaned back in his office chair, remembering the feel of Atem's lips moving beneath his, of Atem's body pressing tightly against him… hearing Atem telling him that this was his dream, too. Kaiba groaned.

Sometimes it seemed easier just not to think at all. He'd dreamed of Atem. He'd liked it. The end. He had other - more important - concerns that stray dreams, enjoyable or not.

Like Mokuba.

Kaiba wasn't sure why Mokuba was still anxious, weeks after his return from the Netherworld or why Mokuba kept harping on wanting his brother back when Kaiba was standing in front of him. And Kaiba certainly didn't get Mokuba's ridiculous obsession with Kaiba's happiness level (something Kaiba himself had no intention of exploring.) But, Mokuba was unhappy and Kaiba wanted to fix the problem. So, it made sense to go back to the things that  _did_  make Mokuba happy and start from there.

Mokuba liked helping Kaiba find the Puzzle pieces, he liked breaking into Yugi's house. He liked working with Kaiba, planning their tournaments, setting up the rules and making sure they were obeyed. Kaiba leaned back in his chair and grinned at the image of his brother, dashing through the streets of Domino at Battle City, long hair flying, like a bossy, whistle-blowing, miniature tornado.

Kaiba paused. One thing Mokuba  _hadn't_  liked was being in charge when Kaiba had been off in the Netherworld. Kaiba frowned. That could argue a lack of ambition or a fear of independence, but Mokuba, in general, gobbled up responsibility like candy. He was eager to drive. He kept bugging Kaiba to teach him how to fly. It was possible that Mokuba simply preferred Kaiba's presence to his absence. Kaiba leaned back in his chair for a moment, enjoying that particular conclusion. He leaned forward again and tapped his computer to life. All he needed to do was strategize ways to increase the things that made Mokuba happy and soon everything would be back to normal.

Kaiba barely noticed the day going by. Someone had left some food at his desk at some point. He absentmindedly picked at it, before pushing it aside. He barely looked up when Mokuba knocked on his door. He grunted in greeting, then returned his gaze to his monitor.

Mokuba scanned the room and sighed. It was obvious that his brother had spent the day staring at his computer, pretending to work. Again. Mokuba paused, then said, "I think you should tear down the space elevator."

Kaiba didn't look up. "No."

"Why not? You're not planning on using it again, are you?"

"The Dimensional Cannon burned up in the journey, remember?" Kaiba parried. Kaiba frowned. He could rebuild the cannon. He could go to see Kisara. Visiting his dragon was a perfectly acceptable reason for... "No," Kaiba said suddenly. "It's served its purpose."

"Then why not get rid of the space station?" Mokuba insisted.

"Because it's mine."

"At least, lease it to one of those scientific groups that want it. That's not losing, it's sharing."

"I told Yugi," Kaiba said abruptly. That was sharing, too, he supposed.

"You did? That's great!" Mokuba beamed up at him, space station forgotten. If his brother had told Yugi, then whatever weird hold Atem had had on him must be fading.

Kaiba nodded.

"How did he take it?" Mokuba asked.

"He asked me how Atem was." Kaiba smiled, remembering how badly Yugi had misunderstood the meaning of the word, "fine."

"No! I mean, how did he take the news that you won?"

"I didn't tell him that."

Mokuba scrunched his nose. His brows drew together. "Why not?"

Kaiba shrugged, delaying an answer. It had seemed too private, too  _intimate_ , to reveal to anyone but Mokuba. "It doesn't matter."

Mokuba's mouth dropped open. "It doesn't matter that you won?" he said, his voice rising to a squeak by the last word.

Kaiba shrugged again. "It doesn't matter whether Yugi knows or not." He turned back to his monitor. His plan for fixing things was taking shape, if only Mokuba would leave him alone long enough to put a prototype together. "I'm busy."

"You've been staring at the screen for weeks. That doesn't mean you're busy."

"This time I am. I have an idea for when we roll out Duel Links."

Mokuba looked at him. His eyes narrowed.

Kaiba's lips thinned. Was Mokuba doubting his word? "I'm not repeating myself. I have an idea. It's not ready to be shown."

Mokuba put his hands on his hips. "Why?"

Kaiba grinned. "Because it's a surprise."

It was the grin that convinced Mokuba to drop the subject. And his brother wasn't the only one who could make plans.

Yugi had gotten used to Mokuba, accompanied by Isono, stopping by the game shop every month or so. Mokuba would buy a single booster pack, they'd exchange a few pleasantries and then he'd leave, only to reappear a month later. It had gone on for months, whenever Mokuba was in town. Until the tournament. Yugi waved at Mokuba as he entered the game shop, suddenly aware of how long it had been since he'd seen him last.

Mokuba closed his eyes, picked out a booster pack and brought it up to the counter as if no time had passed, as if the last time they'd been in the same room hadn't involved a tournament or an encounter with mystical artifacts and other-worldly villains.

"Are you building a deck?" Yugi asked.

"Nah, these are for Nisama," Mokuba said.

"Kaiba gets his cards from booster packs?" Yugi asked, his voice betraying his confusion.

"Of course not," Mokuba scoffed. "But this is a big part of the game for most people, right? The excitement of opening a pack, hoping you get something good? That's what my brother tries to capture with his holograms. So, I figure it makes sense to remind him." Mokuba laughed. "Even if he gets mostly fish cards."

"Fish cards? You mean cards with Water attributes? Mako would be so jealous."

Mokuba shook his head. "My brother used to call weak cards, 'small fry.' Only I didn't know what that meant so I called them fish cards and the name stuck… well, with us at least."

Yugi laughed, partly in relief. Every time a Kaiba started telling a story from their past, he braced himself for some new, painful revelation.

"I stopped buying them when we got busy with… you know… the tournament and everything…" Mokuba's voice trailed off. He remembered that "everything" had included breaking into Yugi's house. That had been fun, actually, but this didn't seem the time to mention it.

"I'm glad you stopped by. You don't need a reason."

Mokuba smiled. He looked around the store, then eyed Yugi's button down shirt and khaki pants. "You've stuck with your new look."

Yugi nodded. He was about to make some glib comment about getting older or graduating high school, but Mokuba was a Kaiba and there was something freeing about being honest. "I needed to make a break. I needed something that didn't remind me… something that was just me."

Mokuba nodded. "I get it. I'm trying to decide on my personal style, too. You know, as part of our corporate brand."

"Your what?"

Mokuba sighed. Loudly. "You know. Branding. Like when you think of Kaiba Corporation, you think of the Blue Eyes White Dragon first. But then you think of my brother's coats and belts everywhere."

"Your brother dresses like that because he thinks it's good business? I thought he just wore whatever he wanted…"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. "Doing what he wants and sticking it to anyone who gets in his way  _is_  my brother's brand. Just like your brand is being nice and welcoming."

"Uh… yeah… I mean I hope so…"

"Not everyone could pull that off. On most people it'd be fake. Like could you imagine my brother trying…"

"No!" Yugi said quickly. "So branding is a fancy way of saying you should be yourself?"

"No. It's being yourself and making it work for you." Mokuba grinned. "Like your store. It's just run down enough to make people feel at home."

Yugi glanced around; they really did need to repaint the walls. They'd been meaning to do so for months. Yugi caught a glimpse of Isono's face. It was hard to tell since Isono had kept his sunglasses on, but he looked suspiciously oblivious to everything being said around him.

"So how is your brother?" Yugi asked.

Mokuba stiffened. "Okay. I mean… you know he saw Atem. He said he told you."

Yugi nodded. "He did."

"He won even."

Yugi looked at him, startled. Kaiba hadn't mentioned that.

Mokuba frowned. "He didn't act like I thought he would, though."

"He didn't gloat, you mean?" Yugi asked.

Mokuba shrugged and nodded. "Yeah. I mean he smiled when he told me about it, but… I don't know, something was off. If it was anyone else…"

"He's sad, Mokuba. He misses Atem."

"I don't get it," Mokuba burst out, all casual talk of clothes and branding and fish cards forgotten.

"What, Mokuba?"

"I mean you're the one who was all smushed up with Atem, and you're okay with him being gone. If it doesn't bother you, why is my brother so bent out of shape?"

"What?"

"Well… you are fine with it, right? That's what you said."

Yugi frowned. Mokuba was right. Yugi had been telling everyone that he was fine. It just sounded different, now that he was hearing his words repeated back to him in Mokuba's voice. "It's not that simple, Mokuba. The Ceremonial Duel… that was the only way the story could end. But… it was… I was…" Yugi paused and took a breath. He swallowed. He'd spent months saying the right things, and now all of a sudden, the temptation to give the honest answer instead of the polite one was irresistible. Yugi drew in a breath and exhaled. "It hurt. I miss him." He'd never talked about it, not even to Anzu or Jounouchi, and here he was unburdening himself to a second Kaiba. The tears that he had never shed because he knew that he should be happy, that he should be strong for his friends, that he was never going to go back to being a whiny crybaby who needed Atem, started to well in his eyes. He let them fall, feeling a sense of freedom, as if they washed away the barriers he had put up around his own grief.

"Oh shit…" Mokuba whispered. Mokuba glanced back at Isono, who hadn't moved from his place by the door. Isono shook his head, slightly. "Yugi…" Mokuba started.

"It's okay, Mokuba. It's okay to miss him."

"You sure?" Mokuba asked.

"I'm sure. Maybe caring about my friends… about Atem… is part of my brand." Yugi smiled. "Just like our messy store."

Mokuba bit his lip then said in a rush, "I miss my mom sometimes and I never even met her." He ducked his head and then looked up. "You're a good guy, Yugi. I never thought that counted for much before I met you."

Mokuba walked up to Isono. It looked for a moment like they were going to hug, then Mokuba tipped his head and walked to the door, instead. Isono bowed to Yugi, then turned to open the door.

"Can I sit up front with you?" Mokuba asked when they got to the limousine.

"Of course."

"You're not going to tell my brother what I said about my mom, right?" Mokuba asked as he settled into the leather seat.

Isono turned on the engine and pulled out of his parking spot. "Did you say something? I was too busy using my eyes to bother with my ears."

They drove for a block or two in silence. Mokuba glanced at Isono, then looked away, then back again. By the third head swivel, Isono turned to him and asked, "Is something troubling you?"

"No! Well… not really… it's just… it's just that I thought everything would finally go back to normal. No… better than normal. I thought when Nisama got everything squared away… when he won… I thought he'd be the brother I remember from the orphanage, again."

"I didn't have the privilege of knowing Seto-sama then. What was he like?"

"He was happy." Mokuba waited a moment but Isono didn't respond. Mokuba glanced at Isono but his sunglasses were on and he was facing the road. "He was happy. He  _was_ ," Mokuba insisted. "He played games."

"He still does," Isono pointed out.

"He smiled," Mokuba countered.

"He still does, at times," Isono said.

"Not enough," Mokuba grumbled. "And not lately. I keep trying to figure out what's wrong."

Isono didn't answer. He wondered when things had ever been right. The closest might have been in those months after Alcatraz. His boss had seemed different, although Isono had been unable to pinpoint just where the difference had lain. Kaiba had been as driven as ever, but his intensity had seemed lighter, somehow. As he'd built his theme park, as he'd watched its success, his face had sometimes shone with a reflected joy that inched closer and closer to the real thing with each passing day.

And then, sometime after the first KaibaLand had opened, sometime during the construction of the next, Kaiba had gotten Yugi's email. Isono had been with him as he'd opened it and read its contents.

Kaiba's eyes had widened. He'd stared at it, and then for the first time since Isono had known him, Kaiba had re-read an email a second and then a third time, as if the simple sentences would reform themselves in between each scan. His face had shifted again, but instead of hardening into anger, it had, for an instant, crumpled into childlike hurt.

Kaiba had spoken softly. Isono had been the only person in the room, but Isono had never been sure if his boss had actually been speaking to him or releasing his question to the air.

"Was it all a lie?" For an instant, Kaiba's lower lip trembled, before he got it under control.

"What, sir?" Isono had asked carefully.

Kaiba stood. In one fluid motion, he grabbed a pair of scissors and hurled them at the painting on the wall. The glass shattered as the frame fell to the floor. Kaiba breathed in and out quickly, then said, "He promised that our road of battle stretched as far as the eye could see. He said that I was his equal. He knew I was waiting to prove it in a duel. He was my  _rival_ …"

"Has something happened to Yugi Mutou?" Isono asked, startled.

"No," Kaiba snarled. "Not to  _Yugi_." He managed to turn the name into an insult.

"The other one?" Isono asked. It was the first time he'd acknowledged he'd heard any of the words that his boss or the other boy had screamed at each other throughout their duels.

"He left. Without a word. After all his speeches, I was the last to know. So, tell me, did they play me for a fool with all their talk of friendship and unity?"

"No!" Isono drew in a breath, wondering if he'd still have a job after the conversation was over. "Please sir… I don't know what's happened, but think of your own connections… to your brother… to your work. Isn't your life richer for them?"

Kaiba looked up at that. A gleam returned to his eyes. Isono was unsure whether to trust it.

"Connection! That's it! If he thought he could escape, could just run away like a coward..." Kaiba turned back to his keyboard and started typing feverishly. "You can go, Isono. Tell Mokuba that I have a new project."

Kaiba had completed his first prototype. He'd almost died testing it. Isono had watched and wondered what his boss was chasing. Kaiba had hosted a tournament and built a second prototype. He'd traveled dimensions. He'd come home. And Isono still wondered.

Isono shook his head, dismissing the memory. He had another Kaiba brother to attend to.

"Your brother is the smartest man I have ever met," Isono said.

Mokuba nodded. Isono hadn't answered his question, but his statement, and the calm way he'd said it, eased something in Mokuba, at least for now. Mokuba looked at Isono curiously. He'd been around for most of Mokuba's life.

"Why have you stuck with us through all this time?" Mokuba asked. "You could have left. Everyone else does."

"I started out as a bodyguard. It's a curious word, as though the body was the only thing that needed guarding." Isono flushed, glad that they were almost home.

Jounouchi had waited all day for his shift to end. It sounded like Yugi had news. He raced towards the shop, nearing it as Mokuba and Isono exited. He stopped short and squinted, trying to decide if it really was Mokuba. He chuckled to himself as the boy got in a limousine. How many other limousine-riding, suit-wearing, pint-size gremlins were running around Domino? Come to think of it, he hadn't seen Mokuba for ages, not since that crazy tournament with Diva in the Kaiba Dome. Hadn't seen the big pain-in-the-ass either, even at graduation, not that Jounouchi had expected Kaiba to show, given Kaiba dropping out and all. Jounouchi put his hands in his jacket pocket and started whistling as he walked up the block, pleased by the reminder that he had a High School Diploma, and that Kaiba, for all his money, didn't.

Yugi looked up when Jounouchi entered and smiled in relief. He had a lot to tell Jounouchi, but now that his friend was here, he wasn't sure how to start.

"How's Mokuba? I saw the kid getting into that big assed limousine," Jounouchi said.

Yugi nodded. "Yeah, he came by for a booster pack."

"You mean Kaiba buys cards like an ordinary person?"

Yugi laughed. "Not exactly. Mokuba picks up a pack for him every now and then."

"Is he having another tournament soon? I'm never going to get any sponsors if he stops throwing them."

"I'm not sure. Maybe after he gets his new system, whatever it is, up and running." Yugi frowned. He shook his head and said, "I think Mokuba's worried about Kaiba."

"When _isn't_  Mokuba worried about his brother? Who's planning on taking over his corporation this week?"

Yugi laughed. "Nobody, I hope." He drew in a breath. "I saw Kaiba on campus yesterday. He said… he said..." Yugi paused.

"He's lucky you give him the time of day after all the shit he said about you! Inviting you to a tournament then ordering you around, calling you a vessel like you weren't worth nothing…" Jounouchi's voice rose with each word until he was shouting.

"Kaiba apologized for that… kind of," Yugi said.

"That doesn't make up for saying it in the first place!"

"Kaiba was angry... and hurt I think… you know… about everything that happened." Yugi looked down. His next words were so low, Jounouchi had to strain to catch them. "Someone had to be screaming mad that Atem is gone. Someone had to throw a fit without caring about anything but how much it hurt."

Jounouchi paused, trying to remember if this was the first time that Yugi had mentioned Atem's name… and now Yugi was sad all over again, sadder than Jounouchi had ever seen him and it was all because of Kaiba. "Fuck Kaiba anyway. He didn't even like Atem. He wasn't invited to the ceremonial duel. Atem wanted us there, not Kaiba.  _We_ were his friends."

"Sometimes," Yugi said softly, "I wonder if Atem knew what he wanted."

Jounouchi reached out and touched Yugi's shoulder. "Of course he did. This is Atem we're talking about! He always knew what he was doing." He paused. "It's okay to miss him. It's okay to remember what a great guy he was… what a great guy he still is, wherever he is."

Yugi smiled and nodded. "You're right. I'm being silly." He started locking up the store. It was a little early but he needed something to do with his hands. "I'm glad you could come over. I got some news. I wanted to tell you in person."

Jounouchi came over to him. "What's up, Yugi? You know I'm here for you whatever it is."

"It's nothing like that. It's just… Kaiba told me… he said that he went to the Netherworld, he saw Atem."

"No way! People can't just pick up and hop over to another dimension like it's going to Burger World. How did he even get there?"

Yugi shrugged. "I asked but I have no idea what he was saying. Something about dimensions and a cannon."

Jounouchi shivered. "Sounds like some kind of weird occult shit. I thought Kaiba was allergic to magic."

Yugi shrugged again. He privately thought that Kaiba was likely to believe in anything that got him a duel with Atem… a duel he apparently had won, if Mokuba was right.

"How's Atem? What did he say?" Jounouchi said, breaking into Yugi's thoughts.

"Atem said he was fine." Yugi paused, wondering if Atem's "fine" looked anything like his. Yugi shook his head, shaking away that thought as well. "Just like he told me at the tournament. I'm glad he's happy."

"Yeah, if anyone deserves a fancy after-life, it's Atem." Jounouchi paused. "Hey! I wonder if he has… like… you know… a harem. I mean he  _is_  a pharaoh, that must come with some amazing perks… like girls in bikinis peeling you grapes and stuff. Too bad we can't all visit!"

Yugi smiled. It was nice to think of Atem enjoying himself, surrounded by friends… and by beautiful girls in bikinis.

Yugi took another look around the store. Everything was in place for the morning. They exited. He locked up the store. Yugi turned to Jounouchi. "Does it sometimes feel like nothing turned out like you expected?"

Jounouchi shrugged. He was working cleaning hospital floors. Yugi was at one school, Honda another and Anzu was in New York City. His friends had plans. Sometimes it seemed like all he had was the pipe dream of being a professional duelist. The future had sounded so much easier and so much farther away when they'd talk about being friends forever on Domino High School's roof. "Yeah," Jounouchi said, as they left the store and opened the door to Yugi's house. "I know exactly what you mean."

Kaiba's day had started productively enough. It had ended the same way as all the other ones, lately. Kaiba growled at his empty office. He swept out his hand. Coffee mugs and papers went flying. He got up and stalked around his room.

He should be looking at production schedules. He should be finishing his surprise for Mokuba.

But Atem kept intruding... how he'd smiled at Kaiba, how he'd taken the first step forward when Kaiba had barged into his throne room, how gold had glittered on his arms and chest, how it had banded his forehead, blending with the gold of his hair until he'd looked clothed in light. How thoroughly Kaiba had failed to capture any of that in the avatar he'd created. How uncapturable it all was.

What he should do, Kaiba thought, was delete that damn avatar of Atem. It was all wrong anyway. He swept out, trench coat flying, not bothering to slam the door. Someone would come in, clean up and replace anything broken.

He strode down the hallway as if he had a destination in mind. It wasn't until he would up in the now deserted and off-limits lab next to his private holographic dueling arena that he realized he'd had this end point in mind the whole time.

He sat down, convinced he was going to hit delete and end this once and for all. He found himself changing details instead, the keyboard clicking in time with his thoughts: base skin tone darker and warmer, #C19B54 instead of #E1BE9E… golden streaks slightly brighter at #F4D03F, adjustments to duplicate the texture of molten metal... base eye color lighter and slightly more red, #D3559E instead of #874B81. He thought of how Atem's eyes changed with the lighting, how they brightened or darkened with each flashing mood.

It was quiet in the lab, except for the soft click of his keyboard. He could almost hear the hum of his thoughts as he tried to capture and code each random and fleeting memory, no longer caring if it was from his duel or his dreams.

Finally, he stood up and stretched, then exited the computer lab. He glanced at the door next to the lab. He hesitated, then walked into the dueling area. The cathedral walls appeared on schedule. Kaiba stared at the illusion of stained-glass light patterning the floor. His updated Atem would be here any moment. It would be so easy to just stand still, to let it happen, to view his handiwork, to see if he could fool himself into believing it was real, as real as his dream. He frowned and strode away. The problem wasn't with his dreams… it was waking up that was the bitch.

Atem walked back to the river at sunset. He sat down at the water's edge and cupped the Puzzle in his hands, using it to focus. The Puzzle was the key. He was sure of it. It was how he had rushed to Yugi's side in his duel with Diva, dashing across dimensions to save the world one final time. Now it was time to see if he could use it for himself.

Atem breathed in and out, listening to the breeze rustle through the reeds, hearing the river's answering chimes. He closed his eyes. Atem was used to meditating. He sought the home Kaiba had half-built for them, searching for the place where he hoped their paths would once again cross.

The quiet sounds of paradise faded away; the air stilled. Atem opened his eyes. He was on Kaiba's space station. The room was dark and quiet. Yami walked up to the windows. The stars were right outside; it was the view from their dream. He walked through the linked rooms, his heels echoing in the empty space. One room held a VR pod, another some sort of glass chamber. The computer screens were blank. He could almost hear the echo of Kaiba's heels as he paced the floor.

Atem waited, but no rival appeared to join him.

Atem walked back to stand at the windows again. "So much for a shared place," he murmured. He leaned forward, touching his forehead to the smooth glass of the windows. Atem closed his eyes, blotting out the stars.

And in the silence, he could feel Kaiba's presence, could sense the connection between them. It ran through this station… but it led to Earth. Atem closed his eyes and saw a room, saw flashing lights on the floor, saw Kaiba standing with his dragons behind him, waiting for Atem's next move.

Atem frowned in thought. When they had dueled, Kaiba had said that he'd tried his final combo before, that he was sure that Atem would be able to answer it. The strangeness of Kaiba's remark had gone almost unnoticed at the time.

But Atem could play back every one of their duels from memory, did so more often than he liked to admit, like a familiar cartoon played over and over to soothe a sick child or to lull a tired one to sleep. And Kaiba had never played that combo before.

Atem laughed. Kaiba would have thrown himself body and soul into preparing for the duel. He always did. Kaiba was designing a virtual reality system. He always was.

If there was a place where Kaiba had poured enough of himself to create a shared place, it wouldn't be in space. It would be in a computer lab somewhere in Domino. Atem sank to the floor. He bowed his head and grasped his Puzzle, taking up his search once more, straining to find the lines connecting them and follow them home.

Atem landed with a thud. He opened his eyes just in time to see the door in front of him whoosh to a close. He frowned. Had he caught a glimpse of a flaring white coat? He darted forwards then stopped short, remembering Horakhty's warning. This was a pocket in time and space, not a doorway. He'd come farther than he could have imagined. He was wary of pressing for more, so soon. Atem looked around. He was in a long, very modern room. He looked down at the tiles at his feet, at the blue neon lights that ran along the walls. He could almost feel Kaiba's presence in the hushed room. "I'm waiting." Atem smiled. "It's time to duel," he said softly.

Instantly the lights went out. He blinked in the darkness then opened his eyes in shock as stone walls and stained glass windows flowed down from the ceiling. The neon blue lights were replaced by a prism of colors as sun streamed in through the jewel-toned windows.

He gazed down the length of the cathedral, towards the altar. The kaleidoscope of colors seemed to shift, to brighten. They streamed upwards and then down again, turning into a column of liquid gold. As Atem watched, the swirling shades solidified; he could make out a human form in the center, bathed in fire and light. Atem's eyes widened further as golden sparks transformed into stalks of hair as blindingly bright as the flames they'd replaced swayed in an imaginary breeze, as the skin tones of the figure before him warmed to match his own. A holographic duplicate stepped forwards with the slap of sandals on stone. There was something unbearably intimate about seeing Kaiba's vision of him, about looking into those red-violet eyes. Atem looked away and then back again, unable to resist drinking in every detail.

"Oh, Kaiba… it was easier when we could pretend that all we wanted was a duel…" he whispered.

The other Atem, the one that Atem had to remind himself wasn't real, flashed a grin. "Do you really think so?" he asked.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  To misquote political thrillers, it's hard to tell what Kaiba knew about the Ceremonial Duel and when he knew it. He doesn't seem to have accurate details in "The Dark Side of Dimensions." My own personal theory is that he only found out about the duel after Atem had left. How Kaiba reacted and why Atem left without saying goodbye are questions that run through the entire story.

One thing I really loved about the subtitled version of "The Dark Side of Dimensions" is that Kaiba's and Yugi's very different methods of expressing grief are both treated respectfully. But one thing that struck me as sad was that in comes out that Yugi hasn't talked about Atem, even to his closest friends. I could see Yugi avoiding talking for a variety of reasons. Since his friends are grieving as well, he wouldn't want to, as I think he would see it, burden them with his feelings; he'd want to be considerate and supportive of theirs, instead. I also think that he might have so many emotions about that day – including that he got a chance to fully and independently live his life – that avoiding thinking might be easier than untangling his emotions. But I could also see where Yugi might also find Kaiba's much louder and more dramatic way of showing grief oddly comforting; I think he'd like to know that Atem was mourned.

**Kaiba Graduation Note:**  It's hard to tell whether Kaiba ever went back to school after the first penalty game. We see Kaiba at Domino High early in the manga. A little later, Yugi says that Kaiba hadn't been back since the first penalty game he played with Atem. Still later, Kaiba refers to Yugi as a classmate when talking to Isis, but we don't see him in the limited number of times we see the gang at school in the manga or in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and he's not at the graduation ceremony. I like the idea that he never went back to Domino High, possibly because he looked on it as the site of his defeat or simply because he was too busy or because he made other arrangements to get the credential, assuming he felt he needed it.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think._

 


	6. All Roads

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," Shadi recues (or collects) a group of orphans. To be honest, I'm not sure how detailed his original plan was, but he was very concerned with insuring that the pharaoh went to and remained in the afterlife. The children, led by Diva, were collectively called the Plana.

**DUEL LINKS NOTE:**  Kaiba was working on some kind of game where duelists can be connected in some unspecified, possibly telepathic way in "The Dark Side of Dimensions" and in the manga chapters, "Transcend Game" that preceded the movie. I decided to borrow the name "Duel Links" from the actual game for the story, because it seems to fit his project and because using the name of the actual game makes me happy.

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: ALL ROADS**

BARGAINING: Throughout the 1920s, New York Sun readers woke up to the exploits of Archy and Mehitabel. Archy was a free-verse poet, whose soul had been reincarnated into the body of a cockroach. Determined to let nothing, including a little body swapping, get in the way of his art, Archy typed out his poems by jumping head-first onto the keys of New York Sun columnist Don Marquis' manual typewriter – occasionally pausing to dive into the gears to hide from his apex predator and best friend, Mehitabel. Not one to be outdone in the reincarnation department, instead of being an ordinary alley cat, Mehitabel (according to her), was the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I guess all roads really do lead back to Ancient Egypt.

_MORAL: Archy loudly proclaims, "Expression is the need of my soul!" But based on his actions, it seems likely that friendship was just as important._

* * *

Shadi opened his eyes. He was back in the underground room where he'd raised the children who had become the Plana. He walked up to the carving that had held the Millennium Items. It was back in place as if time had rewound itself. Only one thing had changed: the Millennium Items were gone.

Shadi sank to his knees with a low keening cry. He dropped his head in his hands. They had still been in the middle of a war when the pharaoh had sealed himself in the Puzzle. At first, Shadi had clung to the hope of an afterlife… of a joyous reunion with his comrades. Then, millennia had passed, leaving him marooned in time. One by one his memories, still painful in their fading clarity, had flickered and gone out, until only scattered names and images remained.

Shadi had learned to crave the sweet embrace of forgetfulness, to long for the day when his time on this earth was finally done, when his mission was complete, when the pharaoh was at rest. And then the pharaoh had been reborn, had fought a duel, had triumphed. The last thing Shadi remembered was the blessed call of oblivion as the pharaoh walked through the door to the Netherworld.

Now, even that had been denied him.

Shadi stretched until he was lying prone on the cold floor. As he prayed, an awareness of all that had happened filtered through his senses, became part of his memory. Shadi drew in a breath, eyes still closed. Shadi had taken his own precautions against the pharaoh's return, had placed his faith in a band of children. But he wasn't surprised that Diva had fallen victim to his own fears; Shadi had been taken too soon, Diva had been left alone too long. The fault was his, not his disciple's.

As for the rest…

Fire raced through his blood, bringing him to furious life. He had devoted himself, even beyond his death, to honoring fate's rules. And they had just been broken.

By Seto Kaiba meddling with things he didn't understand, unearthing the items from what should have been their unmarked tomb.

By the pharaoh never being able to stay dead. It was one thing when he'd returned, still tied to the Puzzle, still an instrument of destiny, fated to save the world one final time. It was another now that he was the master of the Puzzle, now that he'd crossed time and space to serve his own desires rather than fate's demands.

The pharaoh had been granted the gift Shadi had given up hope of receiving – a chance for eternal life in paradise – and it wasn't enough for him. Not content with parading his ingratitude before two worlds, he was still tying Shadi to his restlessness, to his refusal to remain at peace. The pharaoh's betrayal was devastating in its suddenness, a sucker punch that had shocked him awake.

Shadi stood up. The time for prayer and meditation had passed.

He knew where to go next. He knew where the other items were. Shadi smiled grimly. Once again, they'd be pressed into service. As he'd taught Diva, what humans call reality was formed by the weaving together of each person's memories. Seto Kaiba had harnessed that power to fuel his journey to the pharaoh. The pharaoh had followed those memories back as if they were an invisible string that connected him to the world he'd renounced. But strings could be cut, and memories, as Diva had shown, could vanish. Then all would be well. It was fitting that it was up to Shadi to put things right.

Isis sat up in bed with a gasp. She looked around but the room was still dark. She reached for her phone and glanced at the time; the night was almost over. For a moment, when she'd first awakened, she'd felt the weight of the Millennium Necklace resting on her collarbones. Shadi had once told her that the Millennium Items were cursed. She'd come to agree. But the curse wasn't in the blessings it gave: certainty and the serenity that certainty brings. The curse lay in their loss, in this formless world she now wandered through. And with the return of the pharaoh to his tomb, she no longer had even her duty to guide her.

Isis stroked her neck, confirming the necklace's absence. But she could still feel it, as if it was a phantom limb, a part of her that ached even after amputation. She frowned and got out of bed. That part of her life was over.

The living room was empty, but the door to the balcony beyond was open. Her brother was awake, then. She felt an impulse to dart back into her room before he noticed her, but he probably already had… and she needed to know if he had felt the same sense of unease, of foreboding… the same mix of power and anger and unfulfilled purpose that came when the Millennium Items called.

She walked onto the balcony. Her brother was staring out at the city or the sky. Rishid was by his side, too large and solid to be a shadow, too quiet to be anything else.

There'd been a brief period after Alcatraz and before the Ceremonial Duel when it had seemed like anything was possible, when it had seemed like they could all go home and be a family again, when it had seemed like the past could vanish. Then the pharaoh had departed for the Netherworld. Malik had headed out with Rishid the next morning, leaving Isis alone in the apartment she'd rented for the three of them. She'd kept the apartment, telling herself that this way Malik had a place to come back to. It had turned out that hope was as effective as her necklace at predicting the future. Malik and Rishid had returned periodically throughout the year, although she could no longer pretend that her apartment was their home.

Isis smiled at her brother as she joined him at the balcony railing. "Since we're all up, come inside. I'll make tea," she offered.

"I like the outdoors," Malik replied.

"Tea on the balcony it is," Isis said.

She returned a few minutes later with a tray. Malik and Rishid were sitting at the small table. Isis smiled as she handed Malik a teacup. He handed it to Rishid. She inclined her head and poured another. "Have I said again how happy I am to see you?"

"I hate it here," he muttered.

"It's your home."

"That's why I hate it. I feel like I'm suffocating, no matter how many windows I open."

"Brother…" Isis said.

"You have two brothers."

"Malik, please… don't fight with your sister," Rishid said. It was the first time he'd spoken.

"You mean  _our_  sister," Malik responded.

Rishid nodded and looked down, silently accepting the correction.

"Yes, of course," Isis said. "I have two brothers." She put her hand on top of Rishid's. He looked at her. She smiled. Rishid had more than earned the right to be called "brother." And to see him hunched in his chair, trying to will himself into invisibility as if he had no right to take up space, hurt, when he'd been their rock, solid and immovable for so long. That she still heard her father's voice booming in her head, saying that he would never be family, was her problem to deal with, not his. "I'm sorry, brother."

"Why are you awake? You usually sleep as if dead," Malik said, eyes narrowed and fixed on her face.

Isis pressed her lips together, holding in a sigh. She had wanted to avoid this conversation, had hoped that Malik had slept through the night, undisturbed. But Malik was asking for her honesty… and her trust. "Did you feel the call of the Millennium Items?" she asked him.

"If I had, I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep."

Isis frowned. "The items are part of our family's history."

"And what is that history, but one of fear, isolation, brutality and…" he glanced at Rishid, "...and slavery? Those things are not good because there are traditional. Some traditions deserve to die."

"Was your way better?" Isis asked, one eyebrow delicately raised.

"No," Malik muttered. "I'm not sure it was worse, though."

"We survived. We're here," Rishid pointed out quietly.

Isis poured more tea. They settled into a surprisingly companionable silence as they watched the dawn together. They'd never done this before, Isis realized. It would be nice to do it again. Maybe, with time and luck, they could establish some new traditions.

A dimension away, Atem sat by the river, gazing at the newly risen sun. It glittered along the water's surface, breaking it into patches of light that jumped and changed color with each ripple. It reminded Atem of the shifting stream of light that had tinted the stone floor of Kaiba's holographic cathedral. Atem sighed. He'd come so far only to miss seeing Kaiba once again. He stretched and got up, unfolding himself with a single, graceful movement. He walked along the riverbank for a few minutes then turned to follow a path leading to higher ground.

Atem could have brought his restlessness to a goddess or a friend. Instead he found himself going in search of a dragon. Kisara was on the outskirts of the town, lazing in the sun on a stone outcropping overlooking the river. She glanced up at his approach.

"I should have known that Kaiba would find a way to get here," Atem said as he sat next to her, shaded by her great bulk.

'He almost died. You shouldn't encourage his recklessness," Kisara said sternly.

"He's never needed my – or anyone else's – encouragement." Atem shook his head. "I expected to see my high priest here when I arrived."

"Seto was determined to guide you here, no matter how slight the chance that he could help, no matter the cost. He was as unstoppable as always."

"He still is," Atem answered. "And even more unreasonable and stubborn than his former incarnation... if such a thing is possible."

"Seto Kaiba is not your old friend," Kisara warned. "Kaiba is younger. Or perhaps it is that I have grown older." She sighed. "Your High Priest understood what he was giving up when he was reborn as Kaiba. Only traces remain in his reincarnation, like an afterimage that lingers when you close your eyes."

"I know. I feel the difference between them even as I'm reminded of all they share." Atem paused, then asked quietly, "Do you miss him?"

"I wonder sometimes, how truly any of us see each other," Kisara said, speaking as much to herself as to Atem. "Did your High Priest see a girl with her own dreams or was he blinded by the light and power of a dragon? Did I see a man with his own strengths and weaknesses, a man I wanted to help, or did I look at him and see only savior?" She gazed at the river for a moment. "I miss what might have been. I would have liked to have been in love, I think. I would have liked to have had a family." For an instant, as he looked at her, Atem could see the girl shining through the dragon. "In another world, we could have been happy. Some days, that is a comforting thought."

"I'm sorry," Atem said quietly.

"I sorrow, too." Kisara raised her head and chuckled, the sound as soft as tiny bells tinkling with the breeze. "We have that in common."

Atem nodded. "It's strange to think that if I had lived…" He paused, smiled and then said, "I would have had a life."

They sat for a moment in silence.

"I shared a dream with Seto Kaiba," Atem said, suddenly.

"I have often tried to invade his dreams, and sometimes to guard him from them."

"He didn't understand that I was really there. He kept repeating that it was just a dream."

Atem sighed. "When Kaiba came here… he came for me. Not because he owed me or because I'm the pharaoh or because of past lives or destiny. Just for me." Atem shook his head. "I had nothing to offer Kaiba; I didn't even say good-bye before I left. And yet he risked his life to see me. I don't know what to do with that gift. Except, I'd like to return it in kind. But first he has to believe."

"There's much he doesn't understand."

"But I want him to see me, to know that I'm real!"

"So many things pass us by in life. Why should our dreams to be any different?" She grinned, a touch of malice in the expression. "But then, I'm a dragon, not a pharaoh. I have no practice in expecting reality to bend to my wishes."

Atem returned to his valley in the afternoon. He went in to meet with his councilors, then walked with Mahaad through the fields outside the palace. They ended up sitting on the same stone outcropping he'd shared with Kisara.

Mahaad sighed in contentment. "I like coming here at the end of the day."

Atem stared at the river and then at the fields on the other side, at the farmers in the background wielding their scythes. He had lived an ordinary life with Yugi. He couldn't help but see his friends in that anonymous line. He turned to Mahaad and nodded towards the farmers. "Do you think this is a paradise for them as well?"

Mahaad turned to him; his mouth dropped slightly open. He glanced back at the field. "There is no blemish in this world, in man or beast… no sickness, no injury. There is only the caress of the sun, the flex of muscles and at the end of each day, the warmth of home and hearth."

"But it's always the same day," Atem said.

Mahaad smiled. "Of course. That's what makes this a paradise."

The breeze ruffled their robes. Atem tilted his head to feel the last rays of the sun on his face, trying to capture some of Mahaad's serenity. "I saw Kisara today," he said abruptly.

Mahaad nodded. "We owe her much. I would have built her a mansion, second only to your palace. She said that she preferred the skies."

Atem smiled. "I think Kaiba would agree."

"He didn't come for her."

Atem smiled again. "No."

"I had hoped that Seto's visit to our world would bring you peace," Mahaad said.

Atem chuckled. "So did I."

They sat for a moment in silence.

"You were very young when the war broke across all out lives… when it ended them," Mahaad said quietly.

"So were you," Atem answered, realizing it for the first time.

"Yes." Mahaad smiled. "But I was born with an old man's desire for peace and prosperity. From the time I was old enough to form a vision of paradise, this has been it."

Atem shook his head; his lips twisted in a wry smile. "And I never desired anything beyond the strength to do my duty, to protect those under my care."

"A worthwhile goal," Mahaad noted.

He didn't add that Atem could have other goals as well. He would not have presumed so far. But in the silence that followed, Atem heard the words as clearly as if Mahaad had spoken them aloud.

"You are my pharaoh," Mahaad added. "But you've been right to correct me every time that I've tried to limit you to that title. You are my prince. That will never change. But you're also my friend." He stood up, briefly touched Atem's shoulder, then walked back to the palace.

Atem stared at the river until it was time to try and reach Kaiba once again.

Kaiba paced his office. Just when he'd started looking forward to sleeping, the nightmares had returned. Not the usual ones… of Gozaburo, of being torn apart by his monsters, of the red mist that filled his sight as vision faded, of sentencing his brother to death, of Mokuba's pleading face. Those familiar nightmares had been left behind in the wreckage of Alcatraz.

They'd been replaced by dreams where he spent the night searching for Atem without finding him. It seemed fitting that once he'd finally given in to dreaming of Atem, Atem had disappeared.

He sat down and reviewed his project, his breathing calming as he scanned the schematics. Kaiba looked up with a start as Mokuba entered the room. Kaiba stood up and said, "C'mon, I have something I want to show you."

"What?" Mokuba asked.

Kaiba grinned. "It's a surprise."

"Well… duh… that's why I'm asking."

Kaiba's grin widened. He walked past Mokuba and out the door. Mokuba followed him to the computer labs, taking a hopping step every few paces in order to keep up with his brother's longer legs.

They ended up in the holographic studio next to the dueling arena. Both rooms had off limits signs on the door. A biometric scan had been set at eye level for Mokuba. Mokuba walked up to it and entered as the doors opened.

The room was empty. Mokuba looked up at his brother.

"When Duel Links goes live, anyone will be able to duel anytime, anywhere. Geography, barriers, they'll all disappear," Kaiba boasted.

Mokuba nodded.

"Then it occurred to me – we'll still need someone to enforce rules and explain how it works, in-game." Kaiba grinned again. "Like a Commissioner of Games." As he said the title, the lights went out. They came on a second later, revealing a perfect replica of Domino's main street.

As Mokuba watched, a life sized version of himself ran towards them blowing his whistle, long hair flying behind him.

"It's going to be embedded in the consciousness of everyone who uses the system," Kaiba said proudly.

"Nisama!" Mokuba said.

The fake Mokuba came to a stop in front of them. He planted his legs shoulder length apart, ran one finger under his nose and grinned at them.

Mokuba laughed. "You put me in your game? As the commissioner? That's great, Nisama!"

Kaiba's shoulders relaxed. Mokuba hadn't noticed how keyed up Kaiba had been until he saw that slight easing of his posture. "I love it!" Mokuba added. "What gave you the idea?"

Kaiba ran his hand through his hair, then shrugged. "It just didn't feel like a game without you running through it. You should be a part of it, so no one can play without you being there." Kaiba grunted. "And I wanted you to stop worrying. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

Mokuba nodded. He looked at the avatar again. "Uh… Nisama… he's great. But why's he still in my old clothes? And his hair's so long. I'm not a kid anymore. Why did you make him so much younger than me?

Kaiba shifted his shoulders.

Mokuba wished his brother could just say, "I don't know," instead of shrugging and grunting while Mokuba pretended not to notice what wasn't being said.

Kaiba circled Mokuba's avatar. Mokuba held still in case Kaiba wanted to circle him as well. He wondered what his brother was seeing. Did he miss this younger version the same way Mokuba missed the brother from the orphanage?

Kaiba finished his survey and turned to Mokuba. He nodded. "You're right. He needs to be revised. Maybe we can set a schedule for updating him regularly as you get bigger yourself. What else do you want changed? I thought we could..." Kaiba shrugged again. "... talk about it."

Mokuba smiled shyly. "Talking sounds good."

Kaiba grunted.

Mokuba shook his head. His brother had apparently forgotten again that talking involved words.

Kaiba tapped the KC pin on his coat and spoke into it for a moment.

"Isono is outside," he told Mokuba. "He'll take you home."

Mokuba frowned. "I thought you were coming home with me."

Kaiba shook his head. "I have some things to finish up here. I'll be home before bedtime. I promise."

Mokuba scanned him again and nodded. He left the basement level and got into the front seat of their limousine next to Isono.

Isono glanced at him and waited. He was used to listening. The older Kaiba wanted a safe sounding board for his rapid thoughts and chaotic emotions. It had taken years for them to get to a place where Isono no longer feared that his hesitant replies would lead to immediate dismissal.

But Mokuba simply needed someone to talk to.

"Remember back at Battle City, Isis and Atem kept saying all that shit about my brother being a High Priest in Ancient Egypt?" Mokuba asked.

Isono nodded.

"You think that's what's going on here? You think that's why he went to find Atem?"

There must be jobs, Isono thought, where your teenaged employers didn't throw impossible questions at you on a regular basis, where you didn't feel helpless to protect them from everything that mattered, when all you could do was the one thing apparently no one else ever had – listen. Isono shook his head, dismissing all those other mythical jobs to focus on the one in front of him. "He came back," Isono said, aware of how inadequate the words were.

"Yeah, he did. But there's something going on with him and it's not our product list."

Isono thought back to the moment when they'd opened the lid on the pod after that first, failed attempt to reach the Netherworld. Kaiba had been exhausted. He'd climbed out of the pod and leaned on it for a moment, gasping for breath, before straightening up and saying, "I saw him. Connection… it's real. I was right. It encompasses everyone." Then Kaiba had smiled and the brilliance and intensity of his expression had chilled Isono to the core.

Isono glanced at Mokuba, sure that he was remembering that moment as well. "I don't think anything your brother designs is simply a product to him."

Mokuba smiled at that. "So, I should listen to his designs instead of waiting for words? He made an avatar of me. He wants me in Duel Links." Mokuba leaned back against the leather seat and closed his eyes.

Kaiba waited a moment to make sure Mokuba had left the floor. He walked next door to the dueling arena. He needed to know how good a job he'd done, how close he'd come to capturing the real Atem. He paused at the door. He'd once tried to imprison Atem in the Puzzle. Was this any different?

Kaiba squared his shoulders and entered the room. Atem was waiting. That hadn't happened before. Kaiba had always had to initiate a duel before his hologram appeared. Kaiba circled Atem slowly, then nodded. His updates had been successful. The dueling avatar was an exact match with the Atem he'd seen in the Netherworld. "I did a good job. You look like him now. I could duel you and fool myself that it's real." Kaiba scanned the room and frowned. "What happened to the background?"

Atem looked around. "The windows? I don't know. They were beautiful. Kaiba, what are you talking about?"

Kaiba's frown deepened. "Of course you don't know. You don't know anything I haven't programmed into you."

"Programmed?"

"You're a dueling avatar. Nothing more and don't forget it," Kaiba snapped.

"So, I'm just a target for you to aim at? After everything, you would deny our friendship?"

Kaiba smiled. "I did a good job. If I didn't know better, I'd believe in you myself."

"You do believe in me! You were the first person to believe in me! You believed I was a person before I did and you don't get to take that back, Seto Kaiba!"

"I can imagine Atem standing here saying that."

Atem walked over to Kaiba and waved his arms in front of his face. "That's because I _am_  here, you jackass!"

"I created you to test dueling strategies, but that was never the whole story was it? I never asked what a soul was until you left. I never asked if anything could survive death. Then you walked right out of this world and all I knew was that we had unfinished business and I wasn't being robbed again. I was ready to drag you back here and hold you prisoner."

Atem nodded. "I know." He paused then asked, "Why are you here?"

"I had a dream." Kaiba snapped his lips shut and circled Atem again. "I'm glad I updated your program. No one could mistake you for Yugi, now."

"When I went to the Netherworld… having a body that was solely and indisputably mine… it changes you. I understood what it meant to be a person. I'd forgotten."

Kaiba tilted his head to the side, considering Atem's answer. He circled Atem again.

"Stop circling me like a bird of prey – or a scavenger looking for his next meal."

"Your answers… I'm trying to decide if they're within parameters. I programmed you to adapt your responses, to create sentences based on Atem's personality. But some of your answers are… unexpected."

"Kaiba, get a clue!"

Kaiba smiled. "That's better."

Atem sighed. "Then why are you even bothering to talk to me?"

"Because I can. Because it's easier talking to myself when I'm looking at you."

Atem couldn't believe how angry he was… or how betrayed he felt. Kaiba had believed in him, had believed he was a person worthy of fighting with and against, worthy of screaming at and listening to, worthy of Kaiba's undivided and at times unnerving focus. Losing that, hurt. "I'm standing right here in front of you. I'm just as real as you are, you son of a bitch!"

Kaiba shook his head. "I can't keep fooling myself, no matter how much I want…"

"Go on, Kaiba. Please."

Kaiba shrugged. "If this really was you, we'd be dueling by now. We'd be falling back on trash talking because it's all we know how to do to each other."

"I loved dueling you," Atem said suddenly. "To duel someone is to know them."

Kaiba snorted. "I'm hardly your only opponent. You duel the cheer squad. You duel whatever megalomaniac has decided to take over the world this week. You've even dueled your partner, and I'm certainly not that."

"No. You're not my partner." Atem took a step forward, holding Kaiba's gaze with his own. "I've dueled many friends. I've faced many enemies. But I've only had one true rival. Only one person has been worthy of the title."

"The whole time you were alive… I should have… I didn't know..." Kaiba whispered.

"What?" Atem asked.

"Anything."

"Neither did I. It took leaving this world to show me how much leaving…" Atem took in a breath and then said as he exhaled, "how much leaving you hurt. I wanted to bridge that gap in time and space, just as you did."

"How can I believe that? You're saying something I didn't realize I wanted to hear until the words came out of your mouth as perfectly as if I'd programmed them myself."

Atem closed the distance between them, reached up and touched his lips to Kaiba's. He held Kaiba's head in place. He moved his lips over Kaiba's, coaxing his rival's mouth open. Atem's tongue explored Kaiba's mouth, slowly, almost reverently. Atem's hands dropped to Kaiba's shoulders, keeping the pressure on Kaiba's lips. Kaiba moaned, deep in his throat. As if the sound had released him from his own immobility, he jumped back.

"Could a hologram have done that?" Atem asked, his voice a perfect blend of challenge and desire.

Kaiba smirked. "It's called 'Solid Vision' for a reason."

"Kaiba! You managed to find a way to barge into my home. Is it so hard to believe I'd do the same to you?

"Yes." Kaiba's lips dragged downwards. He drew in a breath. "I want you to want me… to miss me so badly that you'd cross time and space to find me again. And that's how I know you're not real. The real Atem would come for Yugi. He would never come for me." Kaiba's lips twisted again. "And that's checkmate, Atem."

Atem watched as Kaiba's eyes iced over, like a river freezing in winter until only patches of sluggish blue life remained. Before Atem could react, Kaiba whirled from the room and was gone. Atem stared at the cold and empty walls, feeling like Kaiba had just handed him his second defeat.

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and reminding me that transitions between scenes are a good thing! (I forget that a lot.)** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  I'd really like to picture a happy, almost idyllic future for the Ishtar's, possibly involving umbrella drinks and lots of beach time. (Okay, this might be my picture of an idyllic future, but I'm happy to share it with them.) I'd like to picture them hanging out without a care in the world, but to be honest, I can never manage to make myself believe it. They can't go  _back_  to being a carefree bunch of siblings who never had an uncomplicated emotion between the three of them, because they never were carefree or uncomplicated to begin with. In a way, they're a parallel to the Kaiba brothers, and getting to put two sets of dysfunctional siblings with massive communication issues next to each other in the chapter is one of the perks of writing fanfiction!

**Shadi Note:**  I admit that Shadi is my go-to catalyst for shaking up the plot, but in all fairness, that's kind of his role in Yu-Gi-Oh! as well.

_NOTE TO ANON:_  Thank you so much! I have a real soft spot for Giving Up the Ghosts because I really wanted to write something that gave form to the challenges the characters were facing, and I wanted to design a virtual world/virtual game that really felt like Kaiba had designed it and poured a lot of himself into it. I loved how open ended the movie was, but it also felt like an invitation for all of us to imagine what happened next, something I couldn't resist.

This story is the result. I hope you enjoy it.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.** _


	7. Fine and Private Places

**CHAPTER 7: FINE AND PRIVATE PLACES**

" _The grave's a fine and private place. But none, I think, do there embrace."_ _~ Poet Andrew Marvell_

Peter S. Beagle set out to prove him wrong, not only by setting his novel, "A Fine and Private Place" in a Bronx cemetery, but also by providing two sets of courting couples. The older pair is nearing the end of their lives; the younger would-be lovers have already crossed that line. (Did I mention that it's a ghost story as well as a romance?) Rounding out the quintet is an extremely chatty and often snarky raven who provides (or steals) food for the living and newspapers for the dead as they try to sort out the meaning of life and death from both sides of the grave.

The raven, of course, is less than impressed by their musings. His own metaphor for life is a story about a seagull that he met when he was lost in Iowa. As the raven explains, "The poor sonofabitch was looking for the ocean. And every time he saw water, he thought that was the ocean. He didn't know anything about ponds or lakes or anything. All the water he ever saw was the ocean. He thought that was all the water there was."

When one of the ghosts chides him for not being more helpful, the raven simply looks at her and says, "I was lost too."

_MORAL: Confusion isn't one of the official stages of grief, but maybe it should be._

* * *

Shadi uttered a brief prayer before entering the tomb. He winced at the thought of how this sacred space had been desecrated, first by Seto Kaiba's invasion, and then by the pharaoh's return, when the Ceremonial Duel should have sealed him in the afterlife for all eternity.

Shadi walked down the narrow stone staircase, his steps swifter now that he was surrounded by the tomb's cool darkness. He waited until he'd reached the excavation level to light his torch. He could see a glimmer where the point of the Millennium Scales peeked above the earthen floor; he could sense the remaining items sleeping under their thin blanket of dirt.

Shadi snorted, but his exasperation was softened by a barely remembered fondness. It was just like Seto to simply leave everything where it lay once he'd gotten what he wanted. Seto Kaiba's earlier incarnation had been just as single-minded, just as stubborn, just as short-sighted. And Shadi had been his accomplice.

Now, they were on opposite sides. Shadi sighed and got to work freeing the items from their shallow grave. He stored them carefully in his satchel. As he was slotting the last item into place, he heard footsteps on the stone floor outside.

He turned and caught a glimpse of long dark hair, of a long white dress. Shadi smiled at Isis' approach. It was pleasant to look on his old comrade; he could almost feel the centuries fall away. He could almost remember what it was like to have a friend.

"I knew you would be the first to find me," he said.

"I sensed a presence here," Isis answered. Her lips twisted into a wry smile. "It seems that even without a Millennium Item, I can still hear its call."

"You have always been among the strongest – and the best – of us."

Isis knew that Shadi was speaking of an ancestor, long dead. She found it comforting that her line had run true.

"Dedication is a treasure beyond compare. To keep faith throughout the years…" Shadi said.

Isis thought of Malik. He would not agree. "What of freedom?" she asked.

"How can one be free of destiny? And if a path is fated, what does it say for those that turn aside when the road darkens?"

"As my brother did?"

"As you did not. Where would the world be now, if you hadn't proved steadfast?"

Isis looked down. She could no longer believe that it was that simple. She had been unfettered long enough to recognize the unseen chains she'd once worn, the ones that had tied her to her people and her duty. But neither could she speak of freedom as easily as Malik nor see it as an oasis. She'd learned that guilt was the price of freedom. For if she had been free all those years ago, then it followed that she had freely chosen to embrace her father's cruelty, chosen to stand by as he'd carved up her brother's back, as he'd threatened to kill Rishid... chosen to regard Rishid and even Malik as sacrifices to her clan's mission. But it had not felt like a choice, then. It still did not feel like a choice today.

"You walked your path to its end. As your ancestor did," Shadi said.

Isis swallowed, hearing her father's raised voice, hearing her mother's as she pleaded for Rishid's life. "I am glad our sacrifices weren't in vain," Isis said.

Shadi sighed. "Would that were true."

Isis flinched. She'd forgotten how Shadi's disappointment had echoed her father's, in the instant before her father's had turned to rage. "What's happened?" Isis asked, stepping closer.

"You must have heard of the events of the spring?"

"People disappearing? Yes." Isis folded her arms across her chest.

"And you didn't wonder?"

"Wonder? Of course. But our task was done." Isis lifted her chin. "I saw no need to reopen old wounds."

"The pharaoh has crossed dimensions."

"Atem is here? What new danger has been found?"

"None," Shadi said harshly.

"I don't understand. I saw him leave. Once he was assured of his partner's future, he was ready to carry out his final duty." Like her, the pharaoh had understood obligation, had understood how need outweighed desire.

"The pharaoh is being drawn here by the memories of those who refuse to let him go. He must be freed."

"How?"

"By releasing those memories. Only then can he be at peace." Only then, Shadi thought, would the pharaoh see his duty clearly.

"My family lived and died so that the pharaoh could cross the threshold to the Netherworld. So that he could go to the rest that he had earned." The blood left her face as she wondered what this meant for Malik. She forced her mouth to say the words, "My brother…"

"Is not a part of this."

Isis sighed. "Thank you."

"The pharaoh will remember his destiny as the world forgets him. I will take care of it. Your brother will be safe."

"I pray you are right." Isis bit her lip. Once she would not have had to pray. Once she would have  _known_.

Shadi watched as her expression became sadder, as her shoulders hunched in fear of an unexpected blow. He looked at the satchel holding the Items. The Puzzle and Ring were gone. He needed the Key and the Scales… and possibly the Rod. He had not seen a use for the other two, until now. Shadi smiled. He could take at least one burden from Isis. He could lift the weight of doubt.

He held out the Millennium Necklace. "This truly belongs to you. In you, I see my old friend reborn."

Isis remembered putting the Millennium Necklace on for the first time. Her brother had just run out of the door. Rishid had followed, promising to look after him, to guard Malik from himself, if necessary. Her father lay on the floor. In another moment, she would have to gather her clan and prepare for a burial, a task left to her as the eldest daughter. She remembered running her hand along the Necklace's smooth surface before she'd fastened it around her neck, hoping for something, anything, to tell her what to do next.

"May I?" Shadi asked.

She nodded and bent her head. The Millennium Necklace was as heavy as she remembered, but a sense of certainty had not returned with its weight.

"Don't be afraid," Shadi said. "Certainty will return. Until it does, lean on mine."

Isis inclined her head gracefully and left the tomb, neither looking back nor pausing on the long journey home until she'd reached her apartment once more. She hesitated at her doorway. Once she would have accepted Shadi's gift without question. Now she wanted to think. She took off the Millennium Necklace and stowed it in her bag, wondering if she still needed its weight or if her shoulders had grown strong enough to hold only the air.

Jounouchi had started stopping by the game shop before work whenever he could. Even if it was just for a few minutes, it made him feel better to check in with Yugi; it was a reminder that friends couldn't just lose each other. He thought of Diva, of the streets of Domino vanishing as he forgot and was forgotten, and shuddered.

"Hi, Jounouchi!" Yugi said when he walked in. "Perfect timing! I was just about to leave to go meet Bakura on campus. We're going to hang out for a few before class. You want to come along?"

"Can't. Work. I'll walk over with you though."

Jounouchi waited while Sugoroku came to the cash register. Yugi said his goodbyes and they left together. They'd walked a couple of blocks in silence when Jounouchi said, "You see a lot of him."

"Who? Bakura? Yeah, it's great having a friend at college. I mean everyone is so nice, it's not like starting high school was."

Jounouchi flushed at the unintentional reminder that he was part of the reason those early days had been so rough.

"Seeing Bakura…. it's like being with the gang, at least a little," Yugi continued.

"I'm so busy at work we hardly ever see each other. It's different for Anzu, she's all the way in America, but we're in the same city where we've always lived."

"I miss you too. How's everything going?" Yugi asked, as if he hadn't seen Jounouchi earlier that week.

Jounouchi shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, I guess. I mean the job's not bad. The pay's decent. And at least it's useful, you know? I mean, a hospital's gotta be clean, right? Can't have sick people getting even sicker. My boss is even putting me up for training in maintenance. It'd mean more money. It's just…" Jounouchi paused, then burst out, "I want to be a duelist. It's not a stupid idea. Other people make a living dueling. Bandit Keith, even, until he ran into Pegasus. I'm good enough. I was a finalist at Battle City."

"You're a great duelist!" Yugi said.

"It's my dream." Jounouchi shrugged. "But it's like there's a secret code book for how to make it work and everyone has a copy but me."

Yugi pursed his lips together and squinted as if narrowing his eyes would help him find a way to help. Kaiba's name came to mind, but Yugi knew Jounouchi would reject it immediately. He wondered whether to suggest Mokuba instead. The younger Kaiba had made Yugi's head spin talking about branding and clothes and image, but maybe that was what Jounouchi needed. But it was hard to imagine Mokuba going behind Kaiba's back or Kaiba agreeing if Mokuba took the direct route. Yugi thought back to Duelists Kingdom and Battle City, skipping past memories of Atem with practiced ease, when another Duelist came into mind, blond, confident, ready to be their friend…

"Mai!" Yugi exclaimed. "She's a professional duelist!"

"Yeah, I know. She makes a pretty good living at it, too. She even has that fashion show, ' _Dueling with Style!_ '" Jounouchi laughed. "I'm so desperate it'd try it, but I don't look as good in a mini-skirt."

"I'm sure she'd help you!" Yugi said.

"What?"

"You said it yourself, she knows how to get sponsors and stuff." Yugi paused. "I haven't seen her since Battle City. I guess we kind of lost touch."

"Yeah. What am I supposed to do? I can't call or text her out of the blue – even if I had her number, which I don't – and beg for help when I never bothered to say 'Hi' or anything else for ages!"

"You tried to rescue her at Battle City," Yugi reminded him.

"Fat lot of good that did. We both ended up in a coma."

"We're all friends," Yugi insisted. "She'd be glad to do it. I know she would."

Jounouchi shook his head. It had never been that simple, at least not for him. He'd felt so close to Mai at Battle City, like it was an honor to risk his life for someone so awesome. They'd promised to keep in touch. But then he'd gone back to high school with Yugi, Mai had drifted back to the professional dueling circuit, and "See you soon!" had turned into "never" without his realizing it.

Besides, Mai was hot. Jounouchi thought about her a lot, but she was a friend and he couldn't talk about her like a guy talks about a girl, not even to Honda, because the last thing he needed was for Honda to join in. And by the time he'd decided that he should say something – at least ask how she was after the whole Malik thing – so much time had passed that it was impossible to say anything at all. He figured they'd run into each other at a tournament or something, but they never had.

"If she wanted to talk so badly,  _she_  should have been the one to call!" Jounouchi burst out.

"Huh?" Yugi said, his mouth slightly open.

"Well, she could have. It didn't have to be all on me."

"Uh… o-kay," Yugi said.

Jounouchi flushed. "Yeah, you're right. I could have called too. I know we're friends and nothing can change that. But shouldn't friends talk more than never?"

"Anzu keeps up with her," Yugi offered. "She's told Mai know how everyone's doing. I don't think Mai's mad or anything. And it's never too late to catch up with an old friend, is it?"

"And I did try to rescue her. That should count for something." Jounouchi grinned. "It's lucky Anzu stayed in touch."

Yugi smiled proudly. "Yeah. Anzu's good at that. And she said she wasn't going to let one of the few girls she actually liked ghost her."

Jounouchi shivered. "That freak, Diva, he said the world was held together by our memories. It was the only thing that kept me alive long enough for Atem to find me. Anzu's right. I'm not having anyone else disappear. Not on my watch." He groaned as they reached the campus. "And that's my cue to vanish myself, right into my job."

"Only until I see you tomorrow," Yugi reminded him as they said good-bye.

Ryou was waiting when Yugi walked through the door to the student lounge. They got a couple of cans from a vending machine and sat down.

They chatted about their classes for a while and their fellow students, and then the conversation drifted, as it often did, to the ways their lives had changed.

Yugi stared at his drink and frowned. "Jounouchi told me back with Diva that he was riding through town and pieces of it kept disappearing. He couldn't hold them in his head. Sometimes I'm afraid it's going to be like that with me and Atem. That I'll forget."

"I have so many gaps in my memory already, forgetting some more shouldn't be hard," Bakura joked.

Yugi smiled dutifully.

Bakura put his hand on Yugi's arm. "But…" he said. Inviting Yugi to ignore his interruption.

Yugi exhaled so sharply it ruffled the golden stalks of hair hanging in front of his face. "But I don't want to forget him, not ever. I just don't want it to hurt to remember." He paused. "I'm sorry… I know it was different…"

"It's okay," Bakura interrupted. "Your experience wasn't mine. You don't have to pretend it was or avoid talking about Atem because you're afraid it'll remind me of everything I didn't have."

Yugi nodded. He started to apologize for apologizing, then caught himself in time.

Bakura shrugged. "Sometimes I think he wasn't all bad, then I wonder if he was just that good at manipulating me, that even after everything I want to make excuses for him. Maybe one day, I'll be able to talk about him. Or forget he ever existed. I'm not sure which I want more."

"You could try both."

Bakura smiled. "Maybe I will… someday."

They finished their drinks in silence and headed for class.

Kaiba stood outside of the door to his holographic dueling arena and frowned. He'd planned to go home with Mokuba, but at the last minute he'd sent his brother off with Isono instead. Kaiba glared at the door. He was never irresolute. He'd said everything he needed to say to Atem the last time he was here, even if he'd said it to a hologram. Yet, here he was, back again, craving Atem, any Atem, even one of his own creation. Kaiba shifted his weight as if he was about to turn and leave, although his feet remained planted. He drew in a breath and entered the room.

Atem was waiting.

Kaiba glanced around. Just like the last time, the cathedral hadn't appeared. Neon blue lights ran along empty gray walls. Atem shone against the drab background like a living flame, his breast and arms laden with gold, matching the color of his hair. His robes were as short as Kaiba remembered, his arms just as strong. Kaiba swallowed.

Kaiba had dressed to match, to remind Atem that he was the king of his own empire. Kaiba set his feet shoulder length apart, leaned back and crossed his arms as he faced Atem. A row of setting suns bordered the hem of his long coat. Pink and peach halos surrounded them, fading to a deep midnight blue. Silver stars winked on his shoulders, courtesy of LED lights. His clothes underneath were simple, a sapphire blue button down shirt and navy slacks.

Atem whistled as he took in Kaiba's outfit. It should have been ridiculous, but on Kaiba's tall frame, with Kaiba's eyes matching the brilliance of his LED lights, he looked magnificent instead.

"Does this mean you finally believe I'm real?" Atem asked.

"No." The word was harsh, uncompromising.

Atem's eyes narrowed. "You keep clinging to your ignorance as if it was a shield. So, tell me, Kaiba, what is it protecting you from?"

"From being the kind of fool who believes in his own illusions."

"So, you'd rather be the kind who closes his eyes and then shouts that he can't see?"

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Why do my computer systems keep arguing with me?" he asked the air.

Atem growled. "Computer system? Do you think I can't match you step for step, no matter the game?"

Kaiba shook his head. His bangs fell forward, shielding his eyes from Atem's gaze. "When I went to the Netherworld, I wasn't relying on anyone but myself. And now you're asking me to believe that if I just sit here and do nothing… the thing I want most… the person I want to see so badly I dream of him over and over, will just waltz in here like it was nothing." Kaiba laughed. "You're asking me to believe that you care that much."

"Kaiba… after all we've been through together, is that so hard?" Atem asked quietly.

"It's impossible. After you left… I wanted a duel. You owed me that. I wanted you to pay for running out without a word. I dug up the Puzzle pieces to keep you my prisoner. It seemed fair at the time – you tossed me aside like a piece of trash, I was going to force you back until I was done with you."

Atem drew in a breath, determined to hear Kaiba out, to keep him talking. When they'd dueled in the Netherworld, Atem had told himself that it was his duty to help Kaiba. When they'd said goodbye, he'd realized that his feelings could never be contained by so cold and formal a word. The desperate need to help Kaiba remained, only it was warmer and sadder now, as if the ache in Kaiba's heart had transferred itself to his.

"Kaiba…" he whispered.

Kaiba held up a hand and Atem fell silent.

Kaiba's lips twitched. It was another proof that he was right. The real Atem would never have stopped talking at his command.

"It didn't work," Kaiba said. "Yugi put the last pieces in the Puzzle and nothing happened. And I had to accept that you weren't going to show up for me. So, I barged into a fucking Netherworld. And I won. I got what I came for. So why do I keep dreaming about you? Why am I here yelling at a holographic dueling avatar as if the pharaoh was actually standing in front of me, was actually listening to me and no one else?"

"Kaiba, if you believe that, why did you come back?"

"Because I can talk to you."

Atem sighed. "And what would you say if you truly believed I was standing in front of you?

Kaiba's laugh was softer than Atem remembered and sadder. "Probably nothing. We never could talk, could we? Not unless we had cards in our hands."

"I disagree," Atem said. "What about that helicopter ride? What about when we walked through the streets of Domino?"

"When you were looking for your friends you mean?"

" _We_  were friends, too."

"Friends say goodbye."

Atem closed his eyes, remembering. "Kaiba… I'm sorry… I have no answer to give you."

Kaiba's laugh returned to the harsh bark that Atem remembered. "Of course you don't. I programmed you! How could you come up with an answer for something I don't know? I keep going over it in my head and nothing adds up except that we were never friends, and I can't accept that answer, even though it's the only one that makes sense."

"Kaiba, no…"

Kaiba turned on him suddenly, teeth bared in a snarl. "You think I don't want this to be real? You think I don't wish we could stand here like this? You think I don't want to tell you how much it killed me that you walked away without a word… that somehow you'd managed to become the most important person in my life besides Mokuba and I wasn't worth the time it would have taken you to say goodbye." Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "You think I don't keep coming back here hoping you'll explain it all in a way I'd believe? I haven't wanted anyone to lie to me and make me believe it, not since the day my father walked through the door and told me my mom had died. And here I am wanting lies from you."

Atem stared at him, transfixed. He'd caught glimpses of this Kaiba before, of the Kaiba whose turbulence and passion was barely masked by his arrogance and anger, of the Kaiba who revealed his vulnerability even in the act of hiding it, leaving Atem hungry for those moments when Kaiba allowed it to escape, when he was simply and purely Kaiba. Now, Kaiba's emotions were flooding them both. Atem struggled to keep afloat even as he realized he was waiting to drown.

"Kaiba…" Atem breathed.

"I'm here because if this is all I can have, I want the illusion," Kaiba said stubbornly.

Atem had never thought of Kaiba as young, any more than he'd ever thought of himself that way. But here Kaiba was, seconds away from pouting like a child being denied a treat.

It was endearing.

Atem took a step forward and then another, until he was close enough to reach up and cup Kaiba's lean face in his hands. "I'm here, Kaiba. I think somewhere inside, you know that. What do you want?" Atem asked.

"You," Kaiba answered.

Atem stood on his tip toes and brushed Kaiba's lips with his own.

It was a whisper of a kiss. Atem feathered others across Kaiba's jawline, as barely felt as a warm spring breeze.

Kaiba drew in a breath and leaned back, offering his neck. Atem sucked gently at the soft skin on the underside of his jaw. Then, as Kaiba's skin warmed, Atem increased the pressure, biting, then swirling his tongue, determined to mark the pale skin beyond doubt, to brand every inch of it, if it would make Kaiba believe.

Atem took one of Kaiba's hands and placed it on his own chest. "Feel my heart beating against yours and believe," Atem breathed in Kaiba's ear. "I'm here. Listen to your heart for once. You want this to be real. You want me to grab you and kiss you and never let you go. And I want that as well."

Atem's words slowly worked their way through the fog in Kaiba's brain. But before he could answer with a taunt or a joke or another denial, Atem grabbed him by the lapels of his overly ornamented coat and yanked Kaiba's face down to his. Atem's other hand palmed the back of Kaiba's head, holding him in place. Atem smiled, sensing victory as he pressed his lips to Kaiba's. It was an attack as well as a kiss, as swift and intense as the challenge to a duel.

Kaiba's mouth opened – whether in surprise or desire was impossible to tell. That movement, that tiny hint of surrender, ignited something in Atem, a rightness, a hunger, an anger at Kaiba for being so stubborn, for needing to be chased and held.

Atem dropped his hands to Kaiba's hips and pulled him tight.

"Atem," Kaiba whispered.

"Yes," Atem answered, moving back to Kaiba's neck, teasing the soft and already bruised skin.

Kaiba's thoughts chased after each other as furiously and fruitlessly as a hamster on a wheel. Kaiba knew it couldn't be real because it felt too good, too unlike anything but his dreams. He knew that if he ever spilled his guts, Atem wouldn't follow it up by kissing and caressing him. He knew this couldn't be happening because he wanted it so badly. And most of all, Kaiba knew that if he believed, even for an instant, it would all disappear and Kaiba knew that he didn't want it to stop.

Kaiba groaned. He smashed his lips against Atem, trying to drown out the thoughts whirling through his mind. One arm wrapped around Atem's body, pulling him closer still. The other tangled itself in Atem's hair. He moaned as Atem pulled his shirt out of his pants. Would he believe that this was real if his lips were swollen and bruised tomorrow?

"Atem," Kaiba murmured again. "I want you."

Atem breathed a prayer of thankfulness. He was here. Kaiba was with him. Kaiba finally believed. "I'm here," Atem assured him.

Kaiba stopped whatever Atem would have said next with his lips. Kaiba knew that this Atem wasn't real, but he was still made up of Kaiba's memories and hopes and unacknowledged dreams.

And so, Kaiba let himself surrender, let himself drown in this moment, no longer caring that he was precisely the kind of fool who believed in his own holograms, finally admitting this was what he'd wanted from the moment he'd walked through the door.

Atem worked swiftly down Kaiba's shirtfront, undoing the buttons and pushing both the shirt and the heavy jacket off. He fondled the front of Kaiba's body, skimming over the planes of his chest, pausing to tweak a small nipple to pinprick erectness. Kaiba groaned again, more loudly. Atem moved his hand downwards, to the front of Kaiba's pants. Kaiba's whole body stiffened; another strangled "Atem" escaped. Atem smiled and undid Kaiba's waistband.

Atem paused and gazed at Kaiba, half naked and braced against the wall. Kaiba's body was adorned with the occasional stray nick, as if the sculptor that had shaped his torso had let his chisel slip in a moment of carelessness. Atem couldn't resist covering the small line on Kaiba's collarbone with a darker, deeper, more temporary mark of his own creation. He reached out a thumb to trace the matching bruise he'd left under Kaiba's chin. Kaiba moaned and leaned further into the wall, his head tilted back, inviting Atem's further attack. Atem complied, deepening the blotches on Kaiba's neck before moving to create yet another one. Kaiba's hand was still twined in Atem's hair. His other hand pushed Atem's garment off his shoulders. It fell in folds to drape around his waist.

"Say my name," Kaiba ordered.

"Kaiba."

"This is better than a dream," Kaiba said, his voice milkshake thick.

"Yes...because it's real."

"Stop it. You're ruining the fantasy… and it's the best I've ever had."

"What? How can you still think that?" Atem shouted. He looked up at Kaiba, mouth open in shock. He'd been so sure Kaiba's willingness had meant belief.

"This wouldn't be happening if it was real." Kaiba's voice was strained. "There's no way I'd be going along with any of it. Now just let me get back to my illusion." His lips found Atem's again. One hand moved to the robes held in place by Atem's belt.

Atem froze.

"Come on," Kaiba urged. "Enough arguing. Say my name again."

For once, Kaiba's eyes were unshielded by his heavy fall of hair, but if Kaiba's heart was in them, Atem couldn't read their message. Atem only knew that he could strip away the last of their clothes, and Kaiba would welcome each move. Kaiba's legs were already parted; one of Atem's had slipped in between. Kaiba's hand had moved from Atem's hair to his lower back to push Atem in tighter, to increase the friction of Atem's body against his groin.

But Atem also knew each move would further convince Kaiba that none of this was real, that none of this could be happening. He could take Kaiba, here on the floor of his computer lab… but Kaiba would be convinced he was making love to an illusion. And Atem would be letting himself be turned into a ghost again, after fighting his way to live, to be with Kaiba, if only in this one room. Making love to Kaiba would be the final betrayal of them both.

"I can't do this to you… I can't let you do this to me… not when you don't believe, when you don't understand, when you don't know… " Atem said. He released his hold on Kaiba and sank to his knees. His focus shattered, and with it, his grasp on the room, as if the thread that had guided him here was fraying to the breaking point under the tension. Atem grabbed his head and rocked back and forth, still kneeling on the floor, fighting to stay with Kaiba, to say something, anything that would right this moment.

"I can't," he repeated, as the final threads holding him to Earth dissolved, turning him into a ghost once more. Even as he shut his eyes, even as he soared back to the Netherworld, he kept seeing Kaiba, his face ashen, his eyes wide open and staring at nothing, looking as if he'd been shot and had forgotten how to fall.

Kaiba slid to the floor. He stared unseeing at his disarranged and scattered clothes, then raised his eyes to the void where Atem had just stood, where he'd kissed and fondled Kaiba, where he'd vanished again, leaving Kaiba alone.

Had he just been rejected by his own hologram?

Kaiba shook his head, doubt creeping into his thoughts and coiling there like a snake sleeping in the sun. Kaiba knew pain in all its forms and this cut too deeply to be an illusion. It was achingly familiar, the same pain he'd felt when he'd read Yugi's email, when he'd realized that Atem had left him without a word. Atem's disappearance tonight had been a second thrust to the gut, a wound that only Atem – the real Atem – could inflict. Kaiba stared at the empty space, reliving the moment when Atem had pushed him away and disappeared as the words of Yugi's email spun around and around in his brain, until past and present merged in an unending cycle of loss and abandonment. "Maybe," Kaiba said, addressing the air. "Maybe, now I believe in you."

Rain had always been a gentle, caressing thing in the Netherworld. This was a torrent. Atem stood in the courtyard, leaning against the railing, hunched over with the force of his sobs. He didn't realize Mahaad had joined him until he felt his friend's hands on his shoulders. He leaned against Mahaad's chest.

"What happened?" Mahaad asked urgently.

"I went there again… to Kaiba's computer lab. Horakhty told me how to do it."

Mahaad sighed. He should have expected Atem to seek Kaiba out. "What happened? What did he do to you?"

"I could have… he would have… but I couldn't… not when he thought I was a computer image… not after I…"

Mahaad nodded. He stroked Atem's hair. "Shhhhh… my prince."

"Please… call me Atem."

"As you wish, Atem."

Atem smiled at the expected answer.

"If he doesn't believe in you, he's a fool," Mahaad added.

"No. He's hurt. Badly. So badly he can't believe my wanting him could be anything but a mirage. I didn't know he felt like that. I don't even know if I should have known." Atem sighed. "Maybe none of this would have happened if I had talked to him before I left."

"Would that have changed anything? Do you really think that he would have accepted your decision? And would you…" Mahaad paused, took a breath and then continued, "and would you have stopped missing him if he had?"

Atem shook his head. "No. On all counts. It all happened so fast. I thought… I don't know what I thought."

"You are the pharaoh. But you still can't summon the winds or decree how strongly they blow."

Atem's laugh was a fragile, shaky effort, but it was there. "I had a dragon tell me something similar recently."

Mahaad paused again, then said, "I thought all of us… your friends… your council… would be enough. I thought you would be content here," Mahaad pressed his lips together, then said, "Your pardon..."

For the first time since he'd arrived, Atem gave Mahaad a command, "Say what's on your mind, my friend."

"I don't understand why we weren't," Mahaad whispered.

Atem sighed and looked away, before returning his gaze to Mahaad. "I lived another life. And that one had things beyond imagining, had people who became my friends, who became just as dear. I thought I could end one timeline and begin another as easily as a train switching tracks to continue its journey."

"Trains?" Mahaad said, raising an eyebrow.

"A modern metaphor, I know. But trains and planes and space elevators are as much a part of me as this palace. I must find a way to reconcile the two."

Mahaad nodded and went back inside. Atem walked to the fountain. He sat on its border and stared at the sky as if he could see Kaiba's space station shining overhead.

"Oh, Kaiba," Atem whispered, his voice scarcely louder than the water's murmur. "You've infected me with a desire for life."

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  It's probably obvious by now that a lot of this story is about loss and the characters' reactions to it. But it occurred to me, that Mai's role (or lack of a role) in the rest of the manga represents another, incredibly commonplace kind of loss, the kind where nothing dramatic happens, but where people drift apart because of geographic distance or because, especially given how young the characters are, life takes them in different directions. And although both of them would hate the comparison, if Jounouchi calls Mai, he will, in a much more down-to-earth way, be doing the same thing Kaiba did when he built his space station and launched himself across dimensions.

_Note to AnonQuill:_  Thank you! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.** _


	8. Undying and Other Lands

**CHAPTER 8: UNDYING AND OTHER LANDS**

DEPRESSION: In the Lord of the Rings, the Undying Lands may not technically be a paradise, but it sure seems to come pretty close. And yet, with eternal bliss to look forward to, Haldir's first thought on having to leave his home in Lothlorien is: "It would be a poor life in the land where no mallorn grew. But if there are mallorn-trees beyond the great Sea, none have reported it."

_MORAL: For some people, even paradise isn't all it's hyped up to be._

* * *

Atem would have claimed to have gotten up with the dawn, except that he'd never gone to sleep after his disastrous encounter with Kaiba. It was good to see the sun, anyway. He walked down to the river.

Last night, he'd been shocked to silence by the depth of Kaiba's anger and pain. Now he found himself muttering angrily as he walked. He stopped and addressed the air, as though Kaiba had appeared in front of him. "You barely accepted my friendship, you hypocrite! You barely hinted you wanted anything from me except my defeat! How was I supposed to know you were going to be hurt by losing something you never acknowledged wanting?" Atem waved a finger in the air, somewhere in the direction of where Kaiba's nose should have been. "Even the Netherworld isn't far enough to get away from an infuriating jackass like you! Mahaad was right! If I had told you before I left, you wouldn't have listened and you know it!"

Atem snorted. "I wish I was there this morning just to watch you try to explain away all those hickeys. I bet you're babbling to yourself in the mirror right now about Solid Vision or some other nonsense." Atem stopped short, suddenly aware that he truly wished that he was in Kaiba's bathroom with him. He gulped, picturing Kaiba getting out of his shower with his hair wet-dark and slicked back, with trails of water easing their way down his body…

Atem stamped his foot in the most childish, un-pharoahlike way possible. "Don't think you can distract me that easily. And don't tell me that I should have known. What about you ignoring every sign that I'm real? Look to your own behavior before you try to claim some kind of moral high ground, here."

Atem stopped in mid-rant and chuckled. It was hard to imagine Kaiba, except in the matter of weapons production, claiming any kind of moral ground, high or otherwise. He was simply and abrasively himself, and he left the definitions of his conduct to others. "You really are a jerk, aren't you?" But Atem's tone was softer now. Even more dangerously, that one small laugh had opened the door to other memories.

Atem drew in a breath, ready to relive the night before in all its horrible glory. He'd never expected to see his rival so open, so unguarded… so vulnerable. He flushed at the memory of just how eager Kaiba had been. He closed his eyes, remembering, with devastating clarity, the desperate loneliness on Kaiba's face. He knew it had worn the same expression the day Kaiba had found out he'd gone.

Atem winced, suddenly reminded of the matching look on Mahaad's face, the expression that Mahaad had been unable to hide when he'd asked why Atem's old friends – and this world – hadn't been enough. And Atem had no answer for Mahaad, any more than he'd had one for Kaiba.

Atem froze in place, quiet now, unable to move. Any direction led to disappointing someone. Ahead lay Kisara, who had expected him to take care of the man he'd just hurt. Behind, lay Mahaad and his councilors who had expected to get their pharaoh back instead of the Atem who had returned.

"As a pharaoh, it was your duty to live for your people."

Atem looked up with a start, blinking a little at the light streaming from Horakhty as she floated in the air above him. He'd been staring at the ground; he hadn't noticed her arrival. "You keep asking me what I want, but my life has never been about that."

"Do you know why the Netherworld is a paradise?"

Atem shook his head.

"Because here you can lay down your burdens."

"Coming here was the hardest thing I've ever done, even though I knew it was right. I'd lived once. I should have died. I had an entire world awaiting my return, friends I wanted to know again, a world I wanted to see. And Yugi needed to be free. I had to leave. But I couldn't do it and argue with Kaiba at the same time." Atem's lips twisted. "Not telling him was the one small mercy that I permitted myself."

"Small mercies are the only ones that pharaohs can take. You left because it was the best solution for everyone. But with Kaiba, you took something back."

"What?"

Horakhty smiled. "A sense of self."

Atem shook his head. "Isn't that just a nicer word for selfishness?"

"The reverse is true as well. Selfishness is sometimes a crueler word for accepting that sometimes you must come first. You are right to be wary. It's not often a pharaoh gets that luxury."

Atem raised his arm to shield his eyes. He needed to look directly into her sun-bright face. "How could it be the right thing to do when it hurt Kaiba so badly? And Mahaad… he's been my loyal friend… he wants me to be happy. He's in paradise and I've tainted it with my own sadness."

"Only the gods can be all things to all people." Her voice grew stern. "Remember your place, little pharaoh. You are a ruler of people, not dimensions."

"That's the third time someone has said something like that to me this week."

"You should try listening."

Atem shook his head again. "What kind of person is dissatisfied with paradise?"

Horakhty's lips tilted upwards. She folded her arms and slipped her hands into her bell sleeves. "Maybe it's time to figure that one out. You were itching for a challenge, weren't you?" she asked as she disappeared.

He should be used to her doing that now, Atem thought with his first genuine smile of the day.

Kaiba had dragged himself home after his encounter with whichever Atem he'd seen in his computer lab. He'd managed to stagger upstairs and stumble into his bed, where he'd fallen into a deep, mercifully dreamless sleep, until he'd been shocked awake by his alarm the next morning.

He sat up and stared for a moment at his creased coat and wrinkled pants, trying to figure out why he was still wearing them. Then, every humiliating detail from the night before rocketed through his mind. He dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

Kaiba had asked himself so many times over the years if he was hallucinating. First, trying to tell reality from waking sleep as he struggled to complete each assignment, then trying to fight his way out of whatever illusion the latest penalty game had thrown him into... or trying to understand why he suddenly had visions of being somewhere else, of wearing different clothes, of holding a girl up to a dragon, of fighting a pharaoh or watching him die…

Was this simply more of the same?

Had it really been a hologram? Was it possible that, even in the deepest recesses of his mind, he was incapable of imagining an Atem who wanted him; that he'd programmed his own creation to leave him hurt and alone?

Kaiba heaved himself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, shedding clothes as he walked, trying not to remember Atem stripping them off the night before. He looked in the mirror.

And then there were the hickeys.

Kaiba stared at his neck and torso. He'd left the dueling arena bruised and bloodied before. He'd never looked anything like this. Kaiba tilted his head to get a better look at the deep purple-blue blotches, at the faint marks of Atem's teeth. He smiled. Here, in the privacy of his bathroom, he could admit that he liked the way he looked. He liked the thought that Atem had really been there, that he'd felt the same desperation, the same aching need, that he'd been driven by the same certainty that nothing would ever be right again.

Or was the desperation, the need, all on Kaiba's side, just as it had always been?

Kaiba shook his head and got in the shower, smiling again as the water hit his body, making each bruise, each bite mark, sting. He got out and dried himself off, trying to steady his mind for the coming day.

But one question remained. What kind of fool was he willing to be?

Isis hadn't been avoiding Malik since her meeting with Shadi, exactly. He'd been out during the daytime. She'd had to work late in the evenings. She jumped when she came home and turned on the lights to find Malik sitting in the dark. He hated the dark.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to cover her start of surprise.

"There are some skills you never lose. I wanted to think. And sometimes, I can still see more clearly in the dark."

"Where's Rishid?" she asked, looking around.

"He's at the store. He'll be back soon. Is there something you want to say without him?"

"Why should there be?" Isis parried.

"I don't know. But sitting here reminded me that secrets need darkness to grow."

Isis drew in a breath and turned on the rest of the lights. She sat down at the table and looked across at Malik. "Shadi has returned."

Malik stared at her for a moment. Then he chuckled. "Of course he has. I thought things were too quiet lately." He paused, waiting to see if Isis had anything more to add. "What did Shadi want?" Malik asked when Isis didn't reply.

"From us? Nothing," Isis said.

"How unlike him," Malik muttered. He leaned forward in his chair, waiting.

Isis got up and went into the kitchen. She came back with a glass of cold water, sat down and took a sip.

"Now that you've had time to think, what have you left out?" Malik asked.

Isis paused a moment. "He told me that the pharaoh has returned as well."

"So, our grand destiny was all for nothing." Malik threw back his head and laughed. "Perfect."

"Shadi said that the pharaoh must be freed to return to the Netherworld. He didn't ask for our help. Our clan has devoted our lives for generations to the pharaoh's cause." Isis shook her head. "It's hard to know what's right," she admitted, thinking of the Millennium Necklace and finding an odd comfort in her refusal to use it.

Malik frowned. It was unfair to blame Atem for their father's cruelty or for Shadi's lies. It was impossible not to do it anyway. He supposed though, that moving out of the shadows included leaving some of his own resentments behind as well. "No matter what our clan said, Atem wasn't the one to bind us. We chained ourselves. It was our cause, not his. He was an innocent bystander in a farce written millennia ago. If Atem's decided to change his ending, good for him."

Isis put her hand in the deep pockets of her dress, stroking the smooth gold of the Millennium Necklace. Despite Malik's words, life was never that clear. Seto Kaiba had proven that destiny could be defied. But that didn't mean that she was the right person to do so. Isis thought back to the childhood that lay between her and Malik like a constant open wound. Did her fault lay in the hundreds of times that she'd accepted the dictates of her clan, followed the orders of her father… or did it lay in the one time she'd disobeyed, in the one time when she'd shown Malik a glimpse of the sky?

Mokuba raced to the computer lab, outrunning even his brother's longer legs.

"Hurry up, Nisama! I want to see him!" Mokuba urged.

Kaiba entered the room and called up Mokuba's avatar.

Mokuba circled the hologram, unconsciously mimicking his brother, before coming to a stop in front of it again. It was eerily, uncannily accurate. The duplicate stuck out his tongue at Mokuba.

"Nisama! It looks just like me! And you didn't even need me to model for it. Or did you just use surveillance pictures from our security cameras?"

"Of course not!" Kaiba said, outraged. "As if I'd need a photograph to duplicate you! It's all up here." Kaiba tapped the side of his head and then frowned. "Didn't you know that?"

Mokuba smiled up at his brother, his eyes at their widest. "I guess I should have. You can do anything."

Kaiba smiled.

Mokuba exhaled in relief and turned back to his duplicate. "Okay, now that I look right, what superpowers do I have?"

Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. "You want superpowers?"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. He was pleased to see that his avatar did the same. "Well… duh," they both said.

"Superpowers are fake," Kaiba declared. He turned to face the avatar. "And you, be quiet."

"He's fake, too, remember?" Mokuba said. "Okay, magical powers, then. We've run into enough of those. Like a Millennium Item or something."

Kaiba frowned. "You want a Millennium Item? What for?"

"You gotta admit they come in handy," Mokuba pointed out.

Kaiba smirked. "Technology is better."

Mokuba groaned. 'Okay, what  _technology_  do I get?" His face scrunched up in thought for a moment. "How about a jetpack or mechanical wings or something. Then I could fly and swoop down on people when they break the rules! That would be awesome!"

Kaiba threw back his head and laughed. "Believe me, I can do a lot better for my brother than a boring old jet pack."

Mokuba grinned back.

Kaiba glanced at the avatar again. He had frozen in the middle of making a rude gesture. Kaiba shook his head, pulled out his phone and looked at the time. "I have a boring business dinner to go to."

"If it's boring, why are you going?"

"I said boring, not unprofitable. The limousine is waiting outside. After it drops me off, the driver can take you home."

"Is it okay if I stay? I want to look at him some more and maybe take some notes."

Kaiba nodded. "Call for a ride home when you're done."

Mokuba breathed a sigh of relief when his brother left the room. He waited for a few minutes to make sure his brother was really gone, then headed for the dueling arena down the hall. His brother had been working late even though everything was on schedule. Mokuba had checked the security tapes. His brother had been visiting his holographic dueling arena instead of coming home. Mokuba wanted to know why.

Mokuba faked his brother's biometric readings with the ease of long practice and entered the room. He jumped back in surprise. He wasn't alone.

"Yugi! What are you doing here?" Mokuba took a step closer to the unexpected intruder. "No… you're not Yugi… what the hell?"

"Mokuba?" Atem said.

Mokuba walked forward and circled him. Atem sighed. It was clearly a Kaiba brothers trait.

"My brother said you looked different."

Atem's gaze rested on Mokuba's hair. "So do you."

"What are you doing here?" Mokuba asked.

"I thought your brother might be here."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"You don't think I'm a hologram?" Atem asked.

"Duh. I'm not an idiot. I didn't start a program running."

Atem's lips twitched. "Yes. You'd have to be an idiot to get something like that wrong and hold to your mistaken belief so persistently in the face of all evidence..."

Mokuba frowned. "I'm not going to trash my brother. And I'm sure as hell not going to stand here while you do."

Atem flushed slightly. "Of course not." He paused. "I never meant to hurt him."

Mokuba stood up to his full height. He was almost as tall as Atem, now. "But you did."

Atem nodded. "But I did."

There was another pause, then Mokuba asked, "So, what's it like over there, anyway?" Mokuba looked down. "I didn't want to ask my brother. I wanted him to throw it in the past and forget about it, like he usually does."

"You wanted him to forget me?"

Mokuba shrugged.

"I wanted that as well, if it would have made him happier. I thought the duel would end things."

"Did you forget him too? After he left, I mean." Mokuba paused. "Or after you did, I guess."

"No."

They looked at each other for a moment and then they both looked away.

"What's it like?" Mokuba repeated.

Atem wondered if Mokuba was asking what had been worth leaving them for. "It's… peaceful," he replied.

"Peaceful?" Mokuba asked, his eyebrows vanishing beneath his bangs. "Peaceful?" he repeated as if he'd never heard the world before.

Atem shook his head. Maybe Diva was right and you had to experience a word to understand what it meant. "The Netherworld is blue waters and green grass and golden fields. It's birds in the sky and fish in the river and all the animals you've seen on pyramid walls. It's more than just peaceful. It  _is_  peace."

"That's nice, I guess."

Atem was uneasily aware that he'd failed to convince Mokuba. Mahaad would have done a better job. "I wish you could meet the people there. Mahaad, Mana… they're all so special and I might never have gotten to know them." Firmness returned to his voice as he described his friends.

Mokuba chuckled. "Now, you sound like Yugi."

Atem grinned back. "Thank you."

"You really don't have any toilets?" Mokuba blushed. "That's what my brother said."

Atem shook his head. "Not like here."

Mokuba snorted. "Some paradise. I can see why you were in such a rush to get there."

"It wasn't a rush. It simply had to be done."

"Well, it's not like you took the time to say goodbye or anything."

Atem sighed. It was impossible to explain. And even if he could come up with the words, Kaiba deserved to hear them first. Talking about plumbing was safer. "You remember how Diva spoke of the world being composed of our memories of it? That's even more true of the Netherworld. And none of its creators had a memory of modern toilets."

"But you do," Mokuba pointed out. "Couldn't you think one into being?"

Atem's brows drew together in thought. "I don't know."

"You mean you never tried?" Mokuba said, outraged.

Atem laughed. He reached out to ruffle Mokuba's hair, noticing how much less there was of it. "You're very like your brother."

"It's about time someone noticed." Mokuba paused. "You really came here hoping to see him?"

Atem nodded. "Tell him… no, never mind."

Mokuba stared at Atem. "You can't seriously think I'm going to hide meeting you from him."

"No, of course not. But I'm not going to make you my messenger, especially when I have no idea what to say."

"Why don't you just go over to his office to tell him yourself?" Mokuba asked. He hid a grin at the thought of the stir that would create.

"I can't. Your brother… his thoughts were most focused here. I was able to follow his signal to this place, but I can't go beyond it."

"That sucks," Mokuba said. "So, you just have to show up and hope you get him instead of me?"

"It's good to see you. But yes, I have to wait and hope."

"Sounds fair to me," Mokuba said with satisfaction. "How long can you stay before you disappear again?"

"I'm not sure. A while, I guess, unless something happens to break my concentration." Atem's face heated with color.

"You mean if you had to focus on something else – like a duel?"

"Not exactly," Atem answered, looking down and shifting his feet.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Mokuba frowned. He really didn't want to watch while Atem faded away. That would be too weird. "Okay, well… good night, then," he said as he headed for the door. It whooshed to a close behind him. Mokuba leaned against it for a second, realizing that there was so much more he wanted to know.

He turned around and re-entered the room. It was empty.

"Atem," he called out. "Where are you? Come back."

Mokuba had never seen his brother's dueling program before. He stared as a cathedral grew around him. Atem appeared in the middle of the nave in the center of a swirling sphere of fire and light. Mokuba's eyes narrowed as he ran through the possibilities. Was calling for Atem enough to start the program running?

"Atem?" he asked, his voice cracking as he said Atem's name.

Atem nodded and crossed his arms. "Of course."

Mokuba circled Atem. If this was his brother's hologram, he'd outdone himself. Every detail was identical to the Atem he'd just left. It was enough to make Mokuba doubt everything he'd seen tonight.

Mokuba's eyes narrowed. "Which one are you?"

"Your brother only has one rival," Atem answered.

"Are you really here for my brother?"

"Always."

Mokuba frowned. That answer didn't help determine who was who. And there was no point in grabbing Atem. His brother's invention wasn't called "Solid Vision" for nothing. It could fool you into believing you were holding onto a person, even as your hands closed around empty air.

"Are you real?" Mokuba blurted out, knowing it was a ridiculous question.

Atem smirked. "Are you?"

"Stop playing around!"

Atem put his hands on his hips. "I'm the King of Games. That's like asking your brother to stop wanting to win."

Mokuba growled in frustration. He tried to think of something only the real Atem could answer. "How do you really feel about dying?" He paused. "How did you feel about leaving my brother?"

Atem's eyes widened. He stood stock-still. His mouth opened and shut.

Was that a glitch in his programming, or was he at a loss for words?

For the first time, Atem looked like a teenager who had died way too young. "I don't know," he whispered.

Mokuba drew in a breath. He did the one thing his brother hadn't, the one thing that could settle the question for good. "End program!" he yelled.

The cathedral vanished, taking Atem with it. Mokuba leaned against the wall, too shaken to stand, unaided. Even after years of living with his brother's holograms, it was still hard for Mokuba to believe that he'd just been talking to a figment of his brother's imagination. His brother had seen the real Atem once, staying only long enough for a duel and a win. Mokuba drew in a breath, stunned by how thoroughly his Nisama must have known Atem, to have captured him so completely.

Mokuba gave a small whistle. Had the dueling avatar been good enough to fool his brother, to let him believe their road of battle continued even after his victory? Was that what his brother was coming here looking for, night after night? Mokuba gave himself a shake and headed for the exit.

Mokuba was silent on the ride home. Had his brother left his program running? Was that why Atem had seemed to be waiting, the first time Mokuba had entered the room? It was hard to believe, but not impossible. That second Atem had been so real. He'd been the Atem that Mokuba remembered, the one who'd trash talked his way through every duel, the one who'd challenged his brother, who'd made his Nisama rethink all the rules he'd lived by ever since their parents had died. In every word that Atem had spoken tonight, he'd carried a hint of the duelist who'd pulled Mokuba out of a Death Simulation Chamber, who'd forced his brother to reassemble his own heart in the wreckage of Death-T.

And if that Atem had been fake, then what was real?

Mokuba got out of the limousine, thanked the driver and headed up to bed, glad that his brother was still out of the house. But as he lay in the darkness of his room, one question remained: Was the Atem who'd first greeted him, the one in the empty lab, the same as the hologram he'd just dismissed?

* * *

.

_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**  I wanted to make the dueling avatar different enough from Atem for that difference to be noticed, while still having it sound enough like Mokuba's memories of Atem to be believable. It occurred to me that, in some ways, the dueling avatar might have been truer to form to Mokuba than the real Atem, because Mokuba is most used to seeing the trash-talking ultra-confident duelist who battled his brother. I liked the idea that Mokuba's perceptions of who Atem is might be inaccurate enough to make telling who was who difficult.

**Plumbing Note:**  The ancient Egyptians had very complicated irrigation and plumbing systems, including indoor copper pipes for the very rich. However, I think Mokuba would think of toilets as modern flush toilets and judge their world as lacking. I also think that since he's 13, this is a detail that would stick in his head.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think.**_   _ **Please comment.**_


	9. Moving Days

**DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE:**  In "The Dark Side of Dimensions," Shadi recues (or collects) a group of orphans. To be honest, I'm not sure how detailed his original plan was, but he was very concerned with insuring that the pharaoh went to and remained in the afterlife. The children, led by Diva, were collectively called the Plana.

* * *

**CHAPTER 09: MOVING DAYS**

BARGAINING: Edmond Dantes was buried alive in the Château d'If only to be reborn as the Count of Monte Cristo. Only to squander more years chasing revenge than his enemies originally stole. Only to decide in the end that, "all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope'."

_MORAL: When you're telling a ghost story, it's easy to get so caught up with the afterlife, you forget that the living have choices to make, too._

* * *

Shadi couldn't explain, even to himself, why he needed to see Diva, why he had to judge for himself that the boy was okay. But he knew that before he could move forward with his current plan, he needed to look back, at least for a moment. Shadi pulled into the shadow of a doorway and waited. He heard Diva's voice before he saw him.

Diva was walking down the street with his sister and his best friend. They were laughing. Diva stopped suddenly and looked around.

Shadi stepped back, melting further into the doorway.

Diva shook his head. He turned to Sera and Mani. "Did either of you guys feel anything? Like we're being spied on or something?"

Mani sighed. "It's probably just another Kaiba Corporation operative. They're not exactly subtle."

"No. This was different. For a moment I thought… it was almost like…" He stopped and scanned the streets again.

"What?" Sera asked, her eyes wide with worry.

Diva smiled at her. "Never mind. It's just, for a moment, I could have sworn that our friend and mentor was here. It felt like Shadi was still watching over us."

Mani reached out and gripped Diva's shoulder. "It's okay. I believe that too. When it's late at night, I lie in bed knowing I'm safe. And I feel like I did when he was still with us, like he's protecting us, wherever we are. And maybe in a way, it's true. I try to live as he said, without fear or hatred."

"For years," Diva said, "every time I thought of Shadi, I drowned in my own bitterness. But once I let go of my anger over his death, I regained his life. It's odd to feel sad without feeling angry, but now, when I think of him, I think of how kind he was, how he was the first person who cared, how warm and safe I felt when we all sat in a circle together. I miss him."

"He would be proud of you. He never wanted revenge, " Mani pointed out.

Diva nodded. They continued down the street. By the time they reached the corner they were laughing again.

Shadi watched until they were out of sight. He'd been right to find them. Diva was happier now. He'd been tied to Shadi's death. Now he was free. Forgetting was the answer. If he could help the others forget, then the pharaoh, too, would be free to fulfill his destiny. Shadi frowned. It would not be easy to reach Kaiba or the others. Not at first. Kaiba had found a way not only to protect himself from the Millennium Cube, but to harness its power. Luckily, there were easier targets, duelists whose memories of the pharaoh were held more loosely, and who were beyond the reach of Kaiba's technology. It was time for the hunt to begin.

Kaiba tapped his fingers against the security report, noting that his dueling area had been accessed the night before. Kaiba smiled slightly, although he was alone in his office. He should have known that Mokuba would get curious, that he'd want to see his brother's crowning holographic achievement for himself.

Kaiba appreciated the message as well: despite his recent distraction, they were still a team. Mokuba wanted to know what was going on with him on badly enough to hack his biometrics and break into his private holographic arena. And Mokuba's entrance on the scene had changed things, had replaced confusion and doubt with something much more familiar and welcome. Mokuba had made it all a Kaiba Corporation project, something they were sharing, once again.

Kaiba waited until they were in the car. There was something about being in transit, neither at home nor in the office, that made it easier to talk to Mokuba, especially lately. But when they cleared the downtown area, Mokuba turned to him.

"Please?" Mokuba asked, his eyes opened to their widest.

Kaiba grunted and got out of the car so Mokuba could slide over. He got in on the passenger's side. He'd barely shut the door when Mokuba pressed down on the gas pedal. His foot was a little heavy but neither brother noticed.

Kaiba frowned slightly, trying to decide if asking Mokuba what – or  _who_  – he'd seen in the lab would be a good test of Mokuba's ability to stay focused on the road. He glanced at Mokuba.

They'd reached the long straight stretch of road before the turn off for their grounds. It was empty. Mokuba turned to his brother. His grin threatened to break his face in two if it grew any bigger. "Thanks, Nisama. Watch this!" Mokuba turned back to the road. He floored the gas pedal. The car shot ahead. Both brothers laughed.

Mokuba steered the car into its place in the garage He was about to turn off the engine, when Kaiba spoke. "What did you think?"

Mokuba didn't bother asking what his brother was talking about. He'd known when he'd hacked his way into the dueling arena that the access report would be on his brother's desk by morning. "You're amazing, Nisama! It totally fooled me."

"So, it was a hologram all along," Kaiba said, suddenly aware of how much he didn't want to be right.

"Yup. I turned off the program and he disappeared."

Kaiba stared at him, glad for the near darkness of the garage. "You ended the program?"

"Well, yeah. It seemed the obvious way to make sure what was what."

Kaiba nodded. It was such a simple thing to do. Why hadn't he thought of it? Kaiba pressed his lips together as he tried to sort it out. If he'd known Atem was real, he wouldn't have been able to talk to him. If he'd known Atem was fake, he wouldn't have bothered. He'd chosen ignorance. Kaiba's eyes widened. He shook his head in disgust. He'd never thought himself a coward before.

"Nisama... What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Mokuba glanced at his brother. He paused, trying to think of how to word his next question, then gave up and just said, "You didn't try that?"

"No." Kaiba ground the word out.

Mokuba nodded. He didn't ask why. They sat for a moment in silence. Then Mokuba added, "The thing is, I don't think that the Atem I spoke to at the end was the same one who was there earlier."

Even in the dim light, it was impossible to miss the gleam that sprang into Kaiba's eyes. "Explain."

Mokuba filled his brother in on both conversations. "They looked the same, but…" Mokuba shook his head. "I didn't start a program running for one thing. He was just there waiting when I walked in the door. He said he was waiting for you. The second one, he sounded more like Atem, you know all snarky and super confident, like you."

"And the first one?" Kaiba asked.

"He was still a smartass at times. But a lot of the time, it was like he was trying to figure things out and couldn't even hide it anymore." Mokuba shrugged. "Maybe going to the afterlife does that to you." Mokuba scanned his brother. The first Atem reminded him of his brother too, just in a different way.

"So, the answer is, 'Maybe.'" Kaiba said.

"I think the first Atem was the real deal." Mokuba paused. "Which answer were you hoping for?"

It was a question too far.

After a lifetime of reminding Mokuba that hope was an illusion, that life was unfair, Kaiba refused to sound like a sappy fool, even – or especially – to his little brother.

"Do you think…" Mokuba swallowed. "If I was standing next to my avatar... do you think anyone could tell us apart?"

"I'd know," Kaiba boasted. "Always."

Mokuba paused, then asked, "Then why couldn't you tell with Atem?"

"You're my brother. Atem isn't."

Mokuba grinned up at him.

"Your theory that there were two of them is worth exploring," Kaiba said. "It's possible you were confused into thinking there was only one by the excellence of my holograms."

Mokuba paused again and then said, "Maybe you were, too."

Kaiba grunted. He'd admitted uncertainty once already and that was enough. But even uncertainty was better than confessing that he'd known the truth from the beginning.

Isis glanced around, then forced herself to keep moving through the crowded streets. She shook her head. She was going home and she refused to waste any more time peering into doorways, checking to see if Shadi was there. A strange, uncertain feeling had gripped her all day. Isis slid her hand in her pocket and caressed the Necklace through the soft pouch that contained it. She didn't have to wonder. She could know. She whipped her hand free of her pocket as if it had been burned and hurried home.

Rishid was in the kitchen, washing a pot. Another was on the stove. The oven was on. Isis sniffed the air appreciatively. She could cook, but it was a chore, not a pleasure.

"Malik will be home soon," Rishid told her.

"Probably just in time for dinner," she teased.

Rishid nodded. He opened the oven door, peered in and shut it. "The eggplant is almost ready."

Isis sat at the kitchen table. Rishid dried and returned the pot, then joined her.

"Thank you," she said.

"I like to cook."

She nodded although they both knew she was talking about more than dinner. "Until your last visit, I didn't know that."

"Neither did I, until I tried."

Isis sighed. "I still worry about him," she admitted. There was something comfortable about sitting across from Rishid, talking about Malik, as if it was an ordinary part of their lives. Isis had talked to Rishid often over the years, but those conversations had never left her head.

"The time for worry is past," Rishid said.

"But he seems so aimless."

"He's doing what he wants."

"But it's not a life!" Isis protested.

"It's  _his_  life." Rishid shook his head. "It's a curious thing, having choices… building a life around what you want to do."

"How long does he plan to keep doing it?"

Rishid shrugged. "As long as his video blog stays popular with subscribers and sponsors, I guess."

Isis stared at him. His words had suddenly stopped making sense. "His what?"

Rishid's face flamed. He made a couple of strangled sounds before mumbling, "Malik and Rishid Do the World."

"Do what?" Isis said.

"Uh… we travel and film it and people watch. I can show you…" Rishid got out his laptop and flipped it open. "This was one of our most popular ones."

Isis moved to sit next to him. The episode opened with Malik striking poses for the camera with Rishid standing behind him, looking like part of the decor. Then the show started. Isis squinted at the screen. Malik and Rishid were on top of the wall protecting a medieval fortress, leaning on a motorcycle.

"Are you supposed to be up there? And how did you get a motorcycle to the top of a wall?" Isis asked.

Rishid shrugged.

Isis watched, open-mouthed, as Malik got on the motorcycle. Rishid sat behind him. Malik revved up the machine and took off, tearing down the top of the crumbling ancient wall as if it was a track. Whenever they came into view you could see the look of pure triumphant joy on Malik's face.

They stopped the next time they passed the phone, mounted on its tripod. Rishid dismantled the tripod and turned the phone's camera on the ground below.

They'd collected a crowd, including a police car. Rishid swiveled the camera just in time to catch Malik's exuberant laugh. He got back on the motorcycle.

"How on Earth are you going to get down?" Isis interjected as Malik circled the wall then leapt onto the top of one of the wall's diagonal supports and followed it to the ground. Rishid was filming over his shoulder to capture the pursuit until they managed to lose themselves in a maze of tangled cobblestone streets.

They both got off the motorcycle. Rishid held out the phone for a selfie. Malik jumped on Rishid's back and raised his fists in the air and Rishid scrambled with his other hand to grab Malik's clothes and hold him in place.

Malik stuck out his tongue at the camera. "Living well is the best revenge. Die mad about it!" he hollered as the episode ended.

"This is what you do all day? What is wrong with you two?" Isis yelled.

Rishid gave her a wide, open-mouthed grin. Isis stared at him, wondering if she'd ever seen that expression on his face before. "Some of the other ones aren't so dangerous." He clicked to another episode. "This one's also popular."

It started again with Malik and Rishid posing, in Venice this time. Malik looked up into the cell phone camera that Rishid was holding above his head. "Our challenge: to eat at every gelato stand and sample every flavor in just one day! Can we do it?" The rest of the video was simply Malik and Rishid rambling through the city with Malik flirting with all the younger ice cream vendors and the older ones cooing over Rishid as if he was an overgrown toddler. The city managed to defeat them. They ended with the same tag line, shouting: "The best revenge is living well. Die mad about it!"

Malik came back in the apartment as the episode ended. "Do I have a new fan?" he asked.

Isis glanced back at the screen. She noticed the comments below the video. "Those boys are even yummier than the gelato… Mmmmmnnnnn yes, I want an Ishtar sandwich…." Isis' face flamed.

Rishid looked down to hide his slight smile.

"Lack of fans doesn't seem to be a problem." Isis slammed down the lid of the laptop. "It's so dangerous!" she scolded.

Malik smirked. "Eating gelato is dangerous?" He laughed at Isis' indignant face. "Isn't it a little late to be worried about danger?"

Isis stood up and crossed her arms. "You can't just wander around the world forever."

"I'm not looking at for ever. I'm looking at for right now. Cut out the big sister act. I've been on my own since I was twelve. I've done just fine."

"That was by your own choice. You turned on me when I would have helped you."

"There are people that I need to make amends to, sister. But you are not one of them," Malik hissed back.

"Tearing each other apart over the past will not heal the present," Rishid said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Malik and Isis turned to stare at him. They both noted, guiltily, that once again, Rishid had seemed to shrink into himself, as if he was trying to turn hide in plain sight in the middle of Isis' brightly lit kitchen.

"You're right, brother," Isis said to Rishid.

Malik smiled at her. "Please understand, Isis. I don't want the life you've found here. I want to see… everything."

Isis bit her lip. "We lived underground on the border of this city for most of our lives, but even when I was allowed up to the surface, I was never a part of it, not in the way everyone here takes for granted. I feel more at home with the artifacts in my museum than in the streets surrounding them. But those streets are my birthright, too. I want to put roots here."

"Where you see roots, we see chains."

"We?" Isis asked, one eyebrow delicately raised. "Have you ever asked Rishid?"

Malik opened his mouth to argue, then shut it with comical swiftness. He hadn't and Isis knew it. Even worse, Rishid knew it as well and had accepted Malik taking him for granted. Malik hugged Rishid. "I'm sorry."

Rishid smiled down at Malik, then looked over Malik's bowed head to Isis. "I want to be with my family. Everything else is just a place."

Malik reached out to touch his sister as well.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Isis asked.

Malik looked a little blank and very young. "I don't know. I guess I thought that… that…"

"That I'd scold first and listen later?" Isis asked.

"That you'd worry," Malik corrected. His smile turned impish. "And if you want to see more of our less dangerous adventures, I recommend the series where we visited every beach mentioned in a pop song. That's when we discovered just how big a fanbase Rishid has! And all it took was putting him in a speedo!"

Rishid mumbled. "It was a dare."

Isis laughed as intended. She also filed away the episode series for future reference, while making a note to herself  _not_  to look at the comments.

Yugi had been looking forward to Friday all week. The entire gang was free. They were all meeting at Burger World. It felt a bit like old times, except that Atem and Anzu weren't there. Yugi shook his head. He'd be talking to Anzu later and Atem was where he belonged. He pushed the door open and waved to Bakura who had already claimed a circular table.

"What's up with Jounouchi and Honda? Can they make it?" Bakura asked as Yugi sat down.

"Jounouchi's still at the hospital. He'll be here when he gets off work."

"How does he like it?"

Yugi shrugged. "He says it pays the bills until he can get a professional dueling career going."

"And…" Bakura asked delicately.

"He's won a couple of small tournaments. He's trying to scrape together enough money so he can travel to a big one… something that'll get the attention of a sponsor or advertisers or something."

"Like the ones Kaiba used to throw?"

"Yeah. It'd be great if Kaiba threw another one." Yugi shook his head. He hadn't heard from Kaiba since the day they'd run into each other on campus. He probably should have tried harder to reach out but Yugi hadn't been sure what to say. It had shown in the one email he'd sent, full of determinedly friendly, half-finished sentences. Kaiba hadn't answered. It had been a reminder to Yugi that while he wanted to be Kaiba's friend, he didn't know how.

Bakura nodded and dropped the subject. Neither of them was sure that Kaiba had anything left to duel for, now.

"Honda's always busy, but he just texted. He's on his way," Yugi continued. "He's working for his dad, part time. They're letting him take cop classes, too. They think it's just a phase and he'll come around to working at the factory, but I don't know. I think he's serious." Yugi laughed. "Honda said there had to be at least one cop in Domino who can tell when something fishy is going down."

"Honda's good at being suspicious."

Yugi frowned in thought, then said, "Yeah, he sent me something this morning though, that's kind of weird. Have you seen this?" Yugi pulled out his phone and handed it to Bakura.

There was a text from Honda with a bunch of links. Bakura clicked on them and whistled. Three Domino residents had mysteriously developed amnesia. All were out of Domino at the time. All were duelists.

"It could be a coincidence," Bakura said, like someone who wanted to believe his own words.

"We know that kid," Yugi said, pointing to the teenager in the photo. "He was at Duelists Kingdom. Mokuba stole his star chips. We got them back, but Pegasus kicked him off anyway."

Bakura nodded. "I remember." He shivered. "That was an awful time. They all were back then." Bakura frowned. "Lately, I've had this weird feeling. Like things were out of place, somehow." Bakura shook himself. "Ignore me."

"Oh no! Not you guys, too!" Jounouchi announced as came over to them and pulled the chair next to Yugi closer to the table. "Detective wannabe Honda already talked my ear off about it. Besides those three, there's another two added to the list. They're duelists, too. Nobody famous, not like I'm gonna be. They were at Duelists Kingdom and Battle City, but they lost early. You'd recognize them if you saw them." Jounouchi shook his head. "It's got to be a coincidence, right? I mean the Millennium Items are gone for good, right?"

"Of course they are," Yugi said stoutly, before ruining it and adding, "I hope."

"This is just Honda getting the wind up over nothing. It has to be," Jounouchi insisted.

"Here's Honda! You can ask him yourself," Yugi said, waving as Honda walked in the door.

Honda sat between Jounouchi and Bakura. There was a pause while they ordered, and the server brought their drinks. As soon as she left, Jounouchi asked, "So, how's cop classes going? Arrest anyone yet?"

"Keep laughing, Jounouchi. You're the reason I want to be a cop… so I can lock up delinquents like you."

"Ha! You'd have to be able to take me in a fight, first!" Jounouchi said, wrapping Honda in a headlock. Honda pushed back. They wrestled for a moment until Honda knocked Jounouchi's elbow into Yugi's soda. Yugi jumped up. There was a pause while they cleaned the table. Yugi sat down again as the server brought a fresh drink.

"Sorry, Yugi," Jounouchi and Honda chorused.

Yugi shook his head. "It's fine, I'm getting good at jumping out of the way."

Their food arrived. Jounouchi took a bite, then said, his words slightly muffled by a mouthful of burger, "Okay. What should we do? I mean we can't have weird shit starting up all over again."

"I can check with some of the duelists I've me," Yugi offered.

"I guess I could ask Mai." Jounouchi glared at Honda, who had started making kissing noises. "I got in touch with her about… you know… being a duelist and all. Stop that!" he added, jabbing Honda in the ribs. "I could talk to her about this. See what she thinks. If there's any gossip on the dueling circuit, she'd know."

"That's a great idea!" Yugi said quickly.

Jounouchi took an extra-large bite of his burger. "I still say it's a coincidence. There can't be a freaky duelist disease. It's not like we're legionnaires or anything."

"You might be onto something. Maybe there was some virus going around at some tournament," Yugi said.

"I guess it could be something normal," Honda said. He shook his head. "I don't know, though. It never is, with us."

"Okay, no more talking about creepy occult stuff for the rest of the night, agreed?" Jounouchi said.

"Well, except for the horror movie we're going to see," Bakura pointed out.

Jounouchi wailed, "Don't remind me!"

"That gives me plenty of time to get home and call Anzu. It'll be morning in New York," Yugi said. He pretended he didn't hear Honda start in with the kissing noises again. "I like calling her on Fridays. I get to hear how her week went and her plans for the weekend."

Honda stopped making fish faces. "You want to hear about her going places without you? Yugi, that's the coolest thing you've ever said."

"I like it when she sounds happy. It makes me feel like I'm there with her." Yugi paused. He looked down. "I'd like her to come home after school and want to be with me. But I want her to be happy first." He shrugged. "I guess I just have to hope things will work out the way they're supposed to."

"Atem taught you that, huh?" Jounouchi asked.

"I guess," Yugi said. He pressed his lips tightly together and looked down.

"It's okay to miss him," Jounouchi said. Honda nodded.

"I know," Yugi said, smiling at his friends. "I'm fine, though. Promise."

"Of course you are! You're the best!" Jounouchi said, wrapping his arm around Yugi's shoulders.

It was only when they were walking towards the movies that Jounouchi whistled and said, "So you going to tell Anzu about Honda's conspiracy theories?"

Yugi frowned, then shook his head. "Nope. I don't want to worry her."

Jounouchi whistled. "You know best, buddy… but… uh... this is the kind of thing Anzu might want to know. But hey it's your funeral!"

Honda laughed and nudged Bakura. "Yugi might be braver than we thought! I'd rather face a scary world-ending monster than Anzu if she finds out we've been holding out on her."

Bakura thought about it for a moment, then nodded. If it came down to it, he'd pick the monster as well.

* * *

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_**Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter!** _

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**  I tried to think of what Malik and Rishid might do after Atem leaves for the Netherworld and their official tomb keeper responsibilities are done. I remembered that Malik was claustrophobic and didn't like the dark, and I tried to think of something that really would give him the feeling of freedom and choice. I also wanted something that was modern and that stressed that Malik had successfully organized an entire criminal enterprise based on trading card theft and counterfeiting. And then I thought about YouTube channels and Instagram models and a lightbulb went off.

**SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE:**  I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!

_**To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to hear what you think. Please comment.** _

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